full disclosures: 1) i used to be smart, but then i started working at a community college in west texas…..i haven’t read a book in five years, and i haven’t written anything….2) wred fright has been my friend for 30 years, and i certainly love him----i want to write this review as a psychoanalysis of wred (not the narrator), but i know that would be wrong…..3) i grew up as a fat kid in the blue ridge mountains of Virginia…..when i went to the drug fair to buy pro wrestling illustrated, there was a small comic rack with batman, spiderman, and archie comix----that was the entire selection……and i’m sure some comic book aficionado will correct me, but i don’t remember bruce wayne or peter parker ever saving a fat kid…..occasionally there was a fat supervillain like king tut, but i never remember batman driving off with a fat chick in the back of the batmobile…..reggie mantle may have hit a fat girl in the face with a pie, but i don’t remember jughead jones ever asking one to the prom…..i’ve never really believed in superheroes either----just professional wrestlers from 1979 and rockstars (and jim morrison was real and left a beautiful corpse when he overdosed in that paris bathroom in 1971)……wred fright says in the afterword to Fast Guy Slows Down that he “loved superheroes, but they're a 20th Century thing, and it's the 21st Century” and i think that’s a good way to approach his novel as well as life in 2022……superheroes were pretty scarce (at least for fat kids) in 1982, and they’re seemingly obsolete in 2022….i like it that way, and the concept of an aging superhero questioning his mortality seems a shitload more real to me
i’m supposed to be an academic, but i don’t even remember the big words that i’m supposed to use….i think i’m going to try to review the novel through bits and pieces of pop culture….and the first idea that keeps coming back to me = johnny depp’s the lone ranger (2013)…..i didn’t even see the entire film, but i remember the critics hated it…..my 86-year-old dad used to listen to the lone ranger on the radio, and i remember thinking that a 1940s white cop with a native american sidekick aint gonna sell to postmodern social media…..that concept is certainly a part of harry fox’s (the hero of fast guy slows down) mindset, and i would have to agree that our world doesn’t need white cops as heroes anymore…..the 2022 justice league = whoopi goldberg, joy behar, sunny hostin, and sara haines----you know, the old hens from the view…..and i’m certainly not the comic master that wred fright is, but i think it would crush me that that part of americana was now dead…..my dad asked me why no one went to see depp’s lone ranger, and i didn’t have the heart to tell him…..i think he knew though as does wred fright----and that sadness/melancholy is one of the key components to fast guy slows down……the second part of pop culture that i want to use in my review is a portlandia skit commonly referred to as “early onset grumpiness”……the character (fred armisen) goes to the doctor to see what is wrong with him, and the doctor’s diagnosis is that he has e.o.g. (early onset grumpiness)……the character is supposed to be in his late 40s, but constantly says shit like “who are these people” while telling the neighborhood kids to “get off his lawn” like he was in his early 60s----and lest you think i’m free-riffing, there is a section in the novel that deals with lawn care…..the point is, i’d argue that both harry fox and wred fright have a case of e.o.g…….and the last time i reviewed one of wred fright’s novels, i described him as a good-natured, comic strip character (think calvin from calvin and hobbes experiencing the mean streets of cleveland while retaining his boyish optimism)……well, that review was 10 years ago and the world is considerably more awful in 2022…..covid came, and i think calvin was obliged to spend more and more time inside with hobbes……the third pop culture reference that i want to mention in relation to fast guy slows down is a podcast that i listen to called “hold my order, terrible dresser: the wkrp in cincinnati podcast”….the moderators, mike grasso and rob macdougall, are canadian, business professors who essentially argue that everything we do in 2022 = 1982 in high definition---in other words, nothing (except the technology) is original or innovative anymore…..and if i didn’t need (practical/grounded) superheroes in 1982, i damn skippy don’t care about the social media award for best cgi in 2022…..i imagine this hurts wred fright a great deal, and this cynicism/pessimism is very much a part of narrator harry’s world…..wred fright still resembles calvin from calvin and hobbes, but the boy and his tiger remain trapped inside a covidian wasteland if they dare to go outside
YIPS (and yips are good things): 1) i like what wred fright argues about covid in the novel….i didn’t kiss any strange grandmas in 2021, and my school gave me the afternoon off and paid me $100 to get the shots, but i didn’t particularly give a shit about covid (and hillbillies take care of their own)…..it disappoints me that the punkrockers fell all over themselves agreeing with the government and/or chris cuomo----the same goes for 1960s counter culture hippies----it seems to me that all that’s left of our culture is lining up to get a cookie from human resources…..2) i was intrigued by the character of the witch in fast guy slows down, and it made me wonder about wred fright’s lost love life……was the witch the girl who gave me a pain pill every time she saw me or the one who wore so much goddamn makeup that i don’t even remember her name or what she looks like…..wred fright would want me to issue a disclaimer that “the witch was a fictional representation of several character types,” but i think you should ask him about the witch when you see him….3) if i’m telling the truth, my favorite part of the novel was the afterword…..wred fright has always had a big brain, and many times in my academic career i’ve taught from the cliff notes…..i don’t necessarily know anything about the workings of big comix (corporate comic books), but i 100% believe everything wred fright said in the novel (even if i didn’t understand what he was referencing)----the same goes for his shout outs to legendary comic book creators…..i would imagine there are dozens of references in every chapter that i completely missed----and if you’re a comic book aficionado, i dare you to keep up with wred fright’s encyclopedia brain…..i think the #1 theme of “fast guy slows down” is that the world doesn’t need superheroes anymore and that makes me sad as well (if only for my dad and wred fright)----if it makes a difference, professional wrestling in 2022 sux even more……wred fright is too nice to really shit on anyone’s head, but i appreciate it when his hero tells me whose heads deserve to be shat on……there really is no free speech or critical thinking anymore----there’s no doubt in my mind that the world was nicer before the internet, but perhaps it’s the only place you’ll find a modicum of truth in 2022, especially if you still need to believe in superheroes like harry fox
Agree with Crazy Carl? Disagree? Read the novel and write your own review! And now it's time for some bonus Yeast?:
And now some bonus Yeast? for the soundtrack while you're deciding whether to order an ebook (cheaper) or a print book (nicer) (it's a short song, so think quickly!):
The first review of Fast Guy Slows Down, my new novel, has appeared! It's by Rose Smith of Twenty-two Twenty-eight, and you can read it at https://www.twentytwotwentyeight.com/single-post/exploring-the-end-of-a-superhero-in-fast-guy-slows-down. Thank you, Rose! Reviews are tough to come by these days, so it's always a delight to get one, and especially a thoughtful one such as Rose's. I do not know Rose and I didn't pay Rose (she got a review copy of the book as is typical for reviewers), so it is awesome that she was willing to read and review a new novel. We could use more thoughtful readers to write reviews!
Getting reviews is definitely harder than it used to be. Many newspapers have shuttered their book review sections or they just reprint stuff from The New York Times or The Washington Post. Most times, newspaper review sections just carried reviews of books from the major corporate publishers, but with a local reviewer there was at least always the odd chance that an independent or underground book might get a review. Today, even well-known authors have trouble getting reviews. I noted a couple of months ago how Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s book got ignored. And he's had a #1 bestseller with his book about Fauci.
It seems that it's gotten so bad out there in LitLand that we now have authors paying for reviews (I would hope that if they pay, they at least get a good one). Here's Publishers Weekly wanting to charge folks $399 for a review. Here's Kirkus charging $425 (I guess letting people actually use the prestigious publication name is worth $26 more; Publishers Weekly holds its nose and runs the paid reviews under a subsidiary called BookLife). If you want to save money, IndieReader will charge you $275. For the budget-minded vanity press author, you could score a paid review for as low as $99 from these guys whomever they are. I am sure the price will keep dropping if you run a Craigslist ad or hire someone from a gig economy website, though Bidenflation might keep it not far below the $99 described in this New York Times article from ten years ago. Or you could just do some sweat equity and write the review yourself (might I suggest you create a swaggy fake reviewer name such as Brandon Crestlingstone III or something--might as well have some fun while you are that desperate that you're faking reviews). Why not throw a vanity award in? Even RFK Jr. seems to have done so. If it's family friendly, perhaps the Family Choice Award RFK Jr. went for If not, perhaps another one. I am sure someone out there will be willing to bilk you.
Uh, as a reader, this makes me want to not trust reviews much. As an author, I would never do this. I write for myself. If someone else out there digs it as well, cool! If not, I don't care, beyond hoping vaguely they do find something out there to dig. As a publisher, I would consider it--basically, it's a form of advertising, just an ethically-challenged one--but I couldn't imagine that paying hundreds of dollars for a review would be worth it. Most books, even the ones from major publishers don't sell well. From what I hear, most are lucky to do about a thousand copies. The blockbusters and bestsellers all underwrite the many failures. So if you're paying $425 for a Kirkus review, then you had better be selling enough books from it to be worth it. While looking at these books that had paid reviews, I am struck by the fact that even the corporate publishers are doing this now. And based on the Amazon rankings, it doesn't appear to be worth it. They don't seem to be selling much better than mine, and I'm not paying hundreds or thousands of dollars for reviews (generally, I just send out review copies by email and get ignored--maybe I even end up in the spam folder and the person never even sees it). It reminds me of the old Roger Manning line: "People work hard and end up with nothing. I ain't got nothing either, but at least I didn't work hard for it" I'd expect the vanity guys who want the prestige (snicker) of being an author to get swindled, but Harper and other companies should really know better. They must be that desperate to drum up business. I'd suggest publishing better books. I've heard rumors that some literary agents don't even try to sell fiction anymore or they don't take straight white males as clients because publishers want to have diverse authors, but all that stems from the same issue: not enough people buying books. Which itself stems from not enough people reading books. I mean if you can't even get some people to read a book for free to review it, then that's pretty sad. I guess people would prefer to stream crappy tv instead or something. Still, people line up to be authors. These folks in Cleveland, Ohio USA have a real press, and they apparently have to run a vanity press to survive (their fees seem to start at $3,000, and that doesn't include the printing bill): http://parafinepress.com/faq/. That's a lot of money to pay to end up #4,713,812 in Kindle Store.
By Crom! Just do a blog or zine or Substack, folks! It isn't even hard to do a book. Just get Sigil and start coding. If that's too complex, then just export a pdf out of a word processing program. Amazon's print on demand program is easy to use. If these folks have that much money to spare, then that's great, but I feel bad for them getting basically swindled so they can think of themselves as authors. I write books because no one writes the type of books I want to read. But I like reading books by others as well, which is why I write about them, like I did yesterday about The Emeryville War. More people should do that. Maybe if there were more real reviewers such as Rose Smith around, literature would be in better shape. So thanks again to Rose, and if you want to review Fast Guy Slows Down, then get in touch by the end of the month, as the publicity campaign, such as it is, will be wrapping up then.
My new novel, Fast Guy Slows Down, is now available on Smashwords! Smashwords distributes the ebook to a number of eretailers such as Barnes & Noble, so, with luck, it should be propagating through them in the future. Personally, I'd buy it directly, but some folks do have their preferred retailers that they are comfortable with, so I try to make sure the novel is available widely. Uploading the file was a bit more troublesome than I remember from the past. I had to recode the epub several times to dump center and break tags, which I don't remember having to do ever before, but the file should still look all right, if not exactly as I prefer (from what I can tell the Sony ereader has trouble with those tags, so they're not in the current ePub guidelines--a workaround is just deleting them or making an equivalent code with a style sheet or another tag). Regardless, the file is up, so give it a read please. It is very different from most other modern literature and entertainment. For some people, that means better, but there's an inherent value in all art, so aesthetic decisions are best left to the individuals interacting with it. My guess is that if it made me laugh, then it will have a similar effect on most other readers. For those it doesn't, I hope that they find something more to their liking.
Smashwords coming soon!
The ebook should be making its way to Google and Smashwords shortly, so soon no one will have a good excuse not to read it. Ha!
Fast Guy Slows Down Excerpt by Wred Fright on Scribd
Fast Guy Slows Down, my new novel, is now available on Amazon Kindle! Some folks really like their Kindles, and Amazon does not play nicely with other epubs, so it is available for those folks. I do sell a few books through Amazon, but I'm always amazed with each book, they don't just say no thanks to me uploading another novel that will be among their worstsellers, so thanks Amazon for not saying no thanks. My Kindle readers appreciate it.
Both of them. Really. A print version is in the works, and Google Play Books and Smashwords (who distribute my novels to Barnes & Noble, Apple, and others) are coming up, so if you prefer to get your book through one of those channels, it is on the way.
Hooray! I have a new novel out! If you were on the email list, you
heard about it last week and maybe are reading it already. If you want
on the email list, then please email me to let me know that you want on it at wredfright AT AT AT yahoo DOTT com. It will be working its way through the usual channels (and, with luck, a print version will be available as well) and I will keep you posted as it does so, but for now, it is available directly from me!
Fast Guy Slows Down by Wred Fright is available as an ebook directly from Wred Fright:
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