Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Rent A Goat

Many Americans seem obsessed by their lawns.

I am not one of them.

I only mow the lawn because the municipality I live in would fine me if I didn't.

A field in the front yard would be fine with me.  Ditto for a range in the rear yard

Unfortunately, my neighbors' obsession with reenacting the conquest of civilization over wilderness, usually through the means of loud and noxious machinery, compels me to break out my wee reel mower monthly.

It's in those moments that I fantasize about getting a pet goat, who would happily keep my lawn trimmed with his teeth.

I doubt my city would let me have a pet goat (it's the kind of place that requires a license to hold a garage sale--and, no, I'm not kidding), which gets my goat.

Nevertheless, I was delighted to learn of Urban Shepherds, who will lease sheep out to eat grass.

Unfortunately, my little lawn would only require one sheep and apparently sheep get lonely (Who knew? Maybe some sheep, not me) so I am ineligible for the program.

Nevertheless, I feel that I am now one step closer to the day when I can get a goat.

Or at least rent one.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Time To Do The Presidential Election On EBay?

Thank God, I don't watch much television. But for those of you who do, especially in the "battleground" presidential election states of the United States such as Ohio, prepare to be swamped from now until Election Day with annoying political commercials trying to get you to vote for Obama or Romney. Apparently, this election will be the most expensive ever. Perhaps we might want to just pass a constitutional amendment that auctions the presidency off on eBay and put the money raised towards the national debt. It would likely have the same result as the current process and make everyone, except for the owners of television stations, much happier.