New Single!: The President Shit His Pants

wredfright · The President Shit His Pants

If you haven't shit your pants at some point post-infancy, then consider yourself lucky.  This song consoles anyone who has suffered such a misfortune.  Musically, it has the usual vocals, guitar, fake bass, and drums, but I added some fun noise and keyboards as well.  Lyrics are below:

The president shit his pants.
Now he's doing a squirmy dance.
It happened on live tv.
It could happen to you or me.
Maybe it was something he ate,
or he just overdosed on hate.
Maybe it was a voodoo curse,
or a pill his wife hid in her purse.

It could happen to anyone.

The richest man in the world fell on his ass.
He wasn't watching where he was walking in the grass.
He fired the employee who laughed,
and then brushed the grass from his calves.
Maybe his expensive shoes were too shiny,
so he slipped and fell on his heinie.
Maybe he forgot gravity still applies to him,
or maybe the lighting was just too dim.

The valedictorian ended up on the street.
Now she needs something to eat.
She had some bad bad luck,
and nobody seems to give a fuck.
Won't somebody lend her a helping hand?
She just needs a safe place to land.
At the very least buy her a beer,
so she can forget, for a time, the fear.

For more Wred Fright music, give his latest album a listen or download at your favorite digital music site such as Soundcloud, Spotify, or Bandcamp!

Music Video: Alger Hisses

 

This video evokes the espionage theme of the song.  I filmed it last fall walking down a street in Cleveland, Ohio USA mostly, aside from the opening shot which is from a state park in eastern Ohio (alas, I forget the name at the moment).  I should have time this year to crank out a few more videos, so maybe I'll finish all the ones for the second album just as I get ready to release album number five . . .

For more Wred Fright music, give his latest album a listen or download at your favorite digital music site such as Soundcloud, Spotify, or Bandcamp!

New Single!: But At Least You're Not Bitter

wredfright · But At Least You're Not Bitter

I wanted to write a grunge revival song for some reason.  I'm actually surprised the grunge revival never happened.  I expected it in the teens the same way retro music usually becomes popular 20 years down the road (the '70s in the '90s, the '80s in the '00s, and so on), but nope, nothing happened, so I had to write my own grunge revival tune.  At least I'm not bitter, I guess . . . Musically, it's the usual guitar, fake bass, vocals, and drums, though I clearly had fun adding extra noise in the middle.  Lyrics are below:

She was waiting for the grunge revival.
If it doesn't arrive soon, she thinks she'll die-o.
And her friends all listen to crappy pop music.
She left her bad boyfriend
at the fast food drive-thru.
He's just a boy, and she's no longer a girl.

People ask her why, and she just asks them why not?
People ask her what she wants, and she just says, what you got?

Her neighbors all keep their curtains closed.
They never see the sun, just the electric glows.
They all think it's a scary place, the world.
And she stopped wearing makeup.
And she deleted all the photos of you.
And if she could she'd delete you too.

She dreams of Mark E. Smith at Marc's.
It's 1979.  How much are the tomatoes?
Inflation.  Inflation.  Inflation.
She puts her keys and money in the fridge.
Answers the door when the phone rings.
What can you expect from an American?

But at least you're not bitter.

For more Wred Fright music, give his latest album a listen or download at your favorite digital music site such as Soundcloud, Spotify, or Bandcamp!

Autographed Edna's Employment Agency Books Available!

  

I have autographed copies of Edna's Employment Agency available now.  They are each $15 domestic postpaid (USA) or $20 international postpaid (anywhere else).  If you want a dedication or anything then please just put it in the notes field and I will try to oblige (no guarantees).  Of course, the PDF and EPUB versions are available for $5 still, and the novel is available at most ebook retailers as well as in printed form from Amazon should you not want an autographed copy (of course, I can provide that as well, just write in the notes field that you don't want your copy autographed--that would be weird but OK).  

New Single!: Terri Cockring

wredfright · Terri Cockring

This was originally more caddish, but at some point the song turned into a sweeter look at an old maid, kind of like a Shane MacGowan mix of nasty and nice.  Musically, it's vocals, guitar, fake bass, and drums.  It's fun to play, so I can see playing it live sometime.  Lyrics are below.

Terri Cockring was the last girl at the party.
She thinks it's long past time she departed.
And all the boys offer to walk her home,
but Terri would rather be alone.

Oh, Terri you never let me kiss you, but that's OK.
Terri, I've kissed many prettier women than you since those days.

Terri Cockring reads all the cheap romance novels.
She wonders how she ended up in this hovel.
She used to make all the boys turn their heads.
But that was years ago, and now they're half-dead.

Terri, can you believe we're this old?
Oh, Terri, would you still swat away my hand now?
Oh, Terri, with your parents gone that house must be so cold.
Oh, Terri, do you need a hand to hold?

Terri, I bet you still go to church.
And at night with the tv on, on your recliner you perch.
Oh, Terri, I think that I could have saved you,
and maybe you could have saved me too.

Oh, Terri, I hope someone kisses you before it's too late,
and they shovel in the dirt on your grave.

For more Wred Fright music, give his latest album a listen or download at your favorite digital music site such as Soundcloud, Spotify, or Bandcamp!

Article In The New Hoof & Antler!

I wrote an article on beekeeping that is in the new Hoof & Antler.  You can find it at your local Mickey Mart.  And if you don't live near a Mickey Mart, unfortunately, you're out of luck because they don't put it online.  The good news is that the newspaper is free at the Mickey Mart.  Not that that helps you if you still don't live nearby, but, hey, it's something!

You're always in luck where The Front Yard War is concerned though, so if you haven't read it yet, then get buzzing!

Autographed Fast Guy Slows Down Books Available!

Hey, if you're worried about tariffs pushing up the price of crappy corporate books printed in China (and I'm essentially a free trader, so I feel your pain, just like Bill Clinton would), then let me soothe you with the availability of a printed book from an American author printed right here in Cleveland, Ohio USA (even Trump would approve, well, until he read it and found out the main character likes to poop on world leaders such as himself).  That's right!  Fast Guy Slows Down is now available directly from me, the author!  I'll autograph it and even dedicate it (within reason)--just put something in the notes section when ordering.  Printed books are each $15 domestic and $20 international (I still love my international readers, but you're going to have to deal with the response tariffs from your country on your own, so don't be telling me to mark gift on the customs form and expect it to happen) postpaid.  That's right.  Even inflation won't stop me from charging the same price for these books as they were in 2022 (come to think of it, my first novel was $15 mail order in 2006, so maintaining the same price is rare in these days of $10 for a gallon of orange juice or turning the half-gallon into 46 ounces so you can pretend you didn't increase the price).  And, of course, the EPUB and PDF ebooks are available for $5.  They won't be autographed, but hey you'll get a personal email from me with the book attached (probably in response to your email wondering why the book hasn't zapped to you instanteously--hey, I'm one guy and do this manually; if you want instant gratification, then order the book from Amazon or one of the online book retailers who stock the ebooks [or in Amazon's case, the printed book as well]), and you can print out the pdf version at the library or work for free (well, until your boss catches on and yells at you--just give her or him a copy and maybe that will work once the boss starts chuckling as well).

New Single!: Unreported News

wredfright · Unreported News

Some folks who pay too much attention to the news think the world is a much more frightening place than it actually is.  This song looks at the little stories the news seldom ever notes.  Musicwise, it's the usual vocals, guitar, fake bass, and drums.  Lyrics are below.

Bob held the door open for someone today, and Janet smiled.
And people went to work and did their jobs, and someone laughed.

It's the unreported news.
It's not on the radio or tv.
It's the unreported news, and it might make you happy.

And Mark and Wilfreda fell in love, and Dylan read a good book.
And someone checked the mail and was really excited by what they got.
And Jimmy skipped school to hang out at the library, and Teisha made a new friend.
And someone shoveled the snow off the sidewalk, and a cat purred.

And Sarah paid off her mortgage, and Ryan had a nice nap.
And someone saw their last sunset, but they don't know that yet.
And Laronda thought her new recipe was delicious, and Jason got over his cold.
And in 9 months someone will be born, and someone said "Good morning" to a lonely person.

For more Wred Fright music, give his latest album a listen or download at your favorite digital music site such as Soundcloud, Spotify, or Bandcamp!