Rent A Goat

Many Americans seem obsessed by their lawns.

I am not one of them.

I only mow the lawn because the municipality I live in would fine me if I didn't.

A field in the front yard would be fine with me.  Ditto for a range in the rear yard

Unfortunately, my neighbors' obsession with reenacting the conquest of civilization over wilderness, usually through the means of loud and noxious machinery, compels me to break out my wee reel mower monthly.

It's in those moments that I fantasize about getting a pet goat, who would happily keep my lawn trimmed with his teeth.

I doubt my city would let me have a pet goat (it's the kind of place that requires a license to hold a garage sale--and, no, I'm not kidding), which gets my goat.

Nevertheless, I was delighted to learn of Urban Shepherds, who will lease sheep out to eat grass.

Unfortunately, my little lawn would only require one sheep and apparently sheep get lonely (Who knew? Maybe some sheep, not me) so I am ineligible for the program.

Nevertheless, I feel that I am now one step closer to the day when I can get a goat.

Or at least rent one.