An Interview With Author Crazy Carl Robinson

I've known Crazy Carl Robinson for a long time, and we're good friends.  We met when we both went to graduate school at Kent State in the 1990s (where he impressed me with various pranks such as by giving me a copy of Pro Wrestling Illustrated in the middle of an otherwise ultraserious Women in the Renaissance seminar).  His writing impressed me as well, and I published it in my drinkdrankdrunk zine.  Eventually, that road led us to both publishing novels with the Underground Literary Alliance, which we promoted by going on a book reading tour in 2007.  His ULA Press novel is Fat On The Vine, and its two sequels are Dead In The Head and My Parents' Medicine, which are excerpted in the collection Bloodreal.  He told me that he has a new book coming out, so I investigated further with this interview (and his answers are left in the traditional Crazy Carl style). 

1) What's this new book?

i actually have short stories coming out in two 2012 anthologies.....my story, "chasing the american dream: a chubby fan(atic) recalls his favorite professional wrestlers," will appear in "the facts of life, family ties and the real world: everything i know about myself i learned from television" from lexington books.....the article basically examines the pro wrestler as role model for overweight kids......my second story, "the brown washcloth," means exactly what you think it means and appears in victor thorn's new anthology, "outlaw rebels" from sisyphus press.....it's a bit risqué, but i'm sure clevelanders would enjoy the sections which celebrate punk rockers like dee dee ramone and g.g. allin as well as graphic novelists like r crumb and harvey pekar (although i'm not quite sure how pekar would feel about being sandwiched between george lincoln rockwell and ed gein)......i'd also like to think that i introduced victor to artists like ivan brunetti, julian beck and sam peckinpah ......whatever the fuck victor thorn is, he's certainly an american original....like all our friends' blogs regurgitate the same partisan crap whereas victor appears to be challenging the censor (and you know i like that)

2) Another combination of the literary and political was the Underground Literary Alliance. Recently, you got namechecked again in the essay/hatchet job about the group republished in Tom Bissell's collection Magic Hours. What did you think of Bissell's essay and of your experience with the group?

brother, you think i'm vain enough to pay $14 for a book that makes fun of my name once?---yeah, i think we all are....truthfully, i had no idea who tom bissell was in 2003 and i still have no idea in 2012......i tried to read the other essays in "magic hours," but all i really remember is a fairly dry article on "the big bang theory".....if that's what it takes to be a hipster in 2012, then tom bissell beat all of us by about 2 episodes.....as for the ula, i have quite a few rockstar memories, including our 2007 book tour.....my mama dresses me kinda preppy and much like the kent punk rockers, the ula never judged me.....they listened to what i had to say and treated me with the same respect that they treated you.....i know a lot of people in the past were intimidated by king wenclas, but if you had a beer with him in the tavern, I think you might become friends.....jeff potter might be the coolest dad in the world and has built an entire fantasy land for his kids in their backyard----and instead of posting pix of his cat sleeping or generic rants about stopping the tea party on facebook, he celebrates the lives/careers of meaningful artists like ed sanders and doc watson......tom bissell said in that article that the "crazy" in my name implied concealment and aggression, but if he had actually read my shit he would have realized that i just needed to get laid

3) Along those same lines, I had a conversation with you recently in which you said that too many people today were wrapped up in politics when they could be doing something more interesting.  What did you mean by that?

victor thorn (and mr crowley) would say: do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.....ultimately, if your favorite thing in the world is discussing politics, then i'm not gonna take that away from you.....me, i wanna get laid, be under-the-influence, eat, sleep, listen to music and play with dogs.....and i could break out old smack about the weather wanting you to vote for obama or about consulting the youngstown book of socialism before (not) buying your panties at target, but the truth is: we're all capitalists and the only "fact" that's relevant is who cut the check that sanctioned your truth....we have to ask ourselves that question whether we're watching fox news or cnn---whether the blog is endorsed by victor thorn or alan miller....wred fright, do you remember when we argued about whether antigone-the-cat would prefer another cat as a companion and you pulled that (human) book off the shelf as proof that you were right?---that was the big cat lobby, man....i was drunk though and needed a ride home.....more-to-the-point, the only thing that's real is what happens when i take a shit.....my friend susan lowers a person's "i.q. points" when we're driving and we see a house with columns and i have to say that i do the same when someone forwards me a partisan website as proof that they're right.....that ohio state professor didn't conduct his/her experiment for the love of humankind----he/she did it for money and fame....and as soon as i determine that the article i'm reading has a non author's shit-in-the-toilet agenda, i stop reading.....everything else is lemming ridiculousness

4) Speaking of ridiculousness, why is it 2012 and I still don't have Dead In The Head or My Parents' Medicine on my bookshelf?  Is there any hope of the followup novels to Fat On The Vine being published in their entirety?

the short/quick answer is that kids don't read anymore----they look at pictures instead.....i'd say that "dead in the head" has disappeared into the mist....i recycled parts of it for "bloodreal" (2010) and other parts will be included in "my parents' medicine".....if i'm being honest, "dead in the head" was the weakest of my planned trilogy.....i'm not much of an editor, but i've discovered that the 27th paragraph about what color panties my (fictional) students are wearing is pretty similar to the 1st...."my parents' medicine" is actually good-to-go....i got mad at someone last summer and edited it down so that the format is comparable to "bloodreal"---nice rationale, yeah?.....the art professor at my school offered to turn me on to one of her friends in madison whose a publisher, but i haven't contacted him yet.....perhaps your reader knows someone?

5) That's too bad about Dead In The Head.  I really liked it and thought it was even better than Fat On The Vine.  We actually have more than one reader on the blog, so maybe somebody can hook you up with a publisher (use the comments section, folks).  With ebooks and the Web, self-publishing is easier than ever as well.  The final question is the traditional one:  Anything else that you want to tell the world?

all the young corporate douches have an e-signature in 2012 that is designed to announce to the internet that they have retained their creativity as well as their souls.....i don't have one, but if i did, it would be 1 of 2.....the first is an old chestnut: if you're gonna drink and drive, don't forget your car....the second quote belongs to paul goodman: "in america you can say anything you want----as long as it doesn't have any effect".....cheers!

Indian Fever! Be A Believer!

While some people sing in the shower, I listen to the radio while I shave, specifically a battery-operated Snoopy and Woodstock transistor radio that I somehow ended up with, which, lacking any other use for it, ended up in the bathroom.  Usually I listen to WJCU, a good local college radio station.  This is mainly because:  a)  it's the first station that comes up when the radio is turned on since the radio starts at the bottom of the dial, or, for you Replacements fans out there, the "Left of the Dial" (it's a cheapo radio--one pushes a scan button to change the station and that's the only way to change the station) and b) the automated system on at the hour I'm shaving seems to often play classic college radio nuggets by artists such as XTC and Elvis Costello then, which reminds me of my own college radio days in the 1980s, thus I have little incentive to press the scan button.

Lately though, I turn the radio on and get some sort of CIA-devised psychological torture.  The radio plays "Indian Fever", a song from the 1980s or something that promoted the Cleveland Indians baseball team; "Come On Cavs" a funky 1970s song promoting the Cleveland Cavaliers basketball team; and "My Town" by Michael Stanley Band, an ode to Cleveland, Ohio USA by the town's Bruce Springsteenesque meat and potatoes 1970s/1980s bar band.

And nothing else.

It's just those three songs again and again and again.

One day it was nothing but "Indian Fever".

Now the songs are charming in and of themselves.  But they don't stand up to repeated listening.

They do stand up to getting in your head all day though, and I have enough problems as is that I don't also need to be walking around mumbling "Indian fever!  Be a believer!" and frightening passerbys.

Apparently what's going on is the launch of a new Cleveland radio station, which is still getting its act together so they're passing the time broadcasting these three songs.

When they branch out, I might continue to tune in.  Until then, I'll be hitting the scan button to get to WJCU.

I don't want to come down with "Indian Fever".

A Tale Of Two Bands

In honor of Independence Day, I wanted to listen to some American music yesterday.  I settled on The Junk Monkeys, a rocking band from Detroit, Michigan USA circa 1980s/1990s, particularly from the era where the 80s turned into the 90s.  This got me thinking about the band and wondering why they weren't more successful.  They were labelmates with the Goo Goo Dolls on Metal Blade/Warner Brothers.  Playing more punk/garage rock than heavy metal, both bands were sort of odd fits for a label that more often signed bands such as Slayer.  But why did the Goo Goo Dolls go on to become multiplatinum superstars while the Monkeys have their records out of print and don't even rate a Wikipedia page?  I saw both acts at Cedar's in Youngstown, Ohio USA and both acts were great and rocking (yes, there once was a time when the Dolls were rocking--check out Hold Me Up for proof).  Were the Goos better-looking?  More willing to make bland pop/sell out?  Did they work harder?

Beats me.  Both bands seemed to tour pretty hard and deserved to be successful.  Alas, only one was in the commercial sense (aesthetically, both were pretty successful; check out any of the Monkeys' records for a rocking good time--I'm fond of Five Star Fling myself).  Fortunately, the Monkeys are still playing, but only around Detroit.  Maybe the Dolls should take their old labelmates out on tour as an opening act, but I suspect the ferocious rock of the Monkeys would frighten the average current Goo Goo Dolls fan.

If you want to experience some Monkeys, then you can hear "Sad Letters" on YouTube.  The clip looks to be a bootleg, but at this point I suspect the Monkeys don't care.  They're probably happy that people still want to listen to them.  Maybe in the same alternative universe where Al Gore took the presidency in 2000, the Monkeys are a charttopping rock band.

I bet that's a nice place to live.

The Good News And The Bad News Are The Same On The 4th Of July

According to a recent poll, 70% of Americans agree with the Declaration Of Independence that "Governments derive their only just powers from the consent of the governed".  That's up from 66% last year, so that's the good news.  The bad news is, of course, that only 70% of Americans agree with the Declaration Of Independence.  Perhaps the other 30% are apathetic or would have preferred remaining a British colony. In any case, I wish even the Tories among us a Happy 4th Of July!

YIP!: News Of The Weird

The Internet might be the world's greatest newsstand in terms of all the information available, but it's hard sorting through everything to get to the good stuff.  Fortunately, Chuck Shepherd is there to help us along with News Of The Weird.  Where else could I in one handy place read about a woman firing the woman who donated her kidney to her, a mob war over pizza averted by a sitdown at Panera, a duel in Seattle by dogwalkers armed with pooperscoopers, and more, much glorious more?  Nowhere else.  That's why I'm on the NOTW email list, and each week's edition guarantees at least one outloud laugh.

Hope You're Doing Well!

When I peer mentored new international graduate students at Kent State, they often were puzzled by many aspects of American English, but the greeting ritual known as "How are you?" seemed to particularly baffle them.

The literal meaning of the question didn't puzzle students; it was how Americans utilized it.  Some Americans didn't wait for an answer, confusing the students, while other Americans reacted strangely when international students started to provide a detailed answer to the question, letting students know that some conversational norm had been violated.

Though most Americans know the ritual (usually something like "Hi, how are you?", "I'm fine.  How are you?", and "I'm all right, thanks."), it is odd if one thinks about it.  Linguists would describe the ritual as phatic communication, an empty type of talk that we do to keep communication means open for when we do have something worth saying.  Why it takes the form of a question and answer is beyond me (though I'm sure some American Studies scholar has an answer that will bring in democracy, the pioneer spirit, and jazz or something).  Why ask how someone is if one doesn't really care or want to really hear the answer?  Anything outside of "well" or whatnot tends to be regarded as a violation of the little ritual, unless the conversation partners really know one another well (say, spouses), in which case, an answer such as "fine" might be viewed as too minimalistic a report.

I tend to just say hello for a phatic greeting, but if someone asks me how I am I perform the ritual. 

Lately though I've noticed a related phenomenon, primarily in writing and not speech.  In an email, people seem to skip the "how are you?" ritual.  It seems to be replaced by a line, often near the end of the message, along the lines of "Hope you're doing well." 

This is interesting because rather than ask someone how he or she is, the writer skips the issue entirely and just lets the reader know that he or she cares (even if, like in many "how are you" exchanges, he or she doesn't).  It also provides a clue to relationships between parties.  Aside from a newcomer to American English, a classic tipoff that someone doesn't like you is when you ask "How are you?" and the person answers but doesn't return the question.  This is probably unconscious, but as psycholinguist (in the sense that he's a psychologist interested in language, and not in the sense that he's a crazy linguist) James Pennebaker likes to point out, much meaning can reside under seemingly the most insignificant word choices such as pronouns.  Therefore, the "hope" line might be regarded as an invitation not to further communicate. Perhaps the writer really hopes not so much that you're doing well, but that he or she will not hear from you again.  This line seems to especially pop up when an email conversation could be generated, but the writer of the email is too busy to pursue it beyond an initial response but still wants to seem polite.  Thus, the lines of communication are kept open in the phatic sense, but in a realistic sense they are being closed.  It certainly is more polite than not replying to a message at all.

But maybe I am reading too much into it.  In any case, dear reader, I hope that you are doing well. 

       

YIP!: Hero Comics 2012

Every year, Hero Initiative publishes a benefit comic book, and every year I buy it even though it's usually not very good, being filled with castoff and quickie stories from a hodgepodge of  comics creators.

Why do I buy it then?

It's for a good cause.  Hero helps out comics creators in trouble, often older folks.  Since most comics creators are freelancers, they seldom have health care insurance, so many of them get devastated financially when they have a serious health issue.  Sometimes though, the comics folks are just hard-up and out of work.  The current benefit comic showcases the stories of Tom Ziuko, Russ Heath, Alan Kupperburg, and Robert Washington, names all familiar to me from decades of comics reading.  I found Heath's story to be the most ironic.  In it, he notes how Roy Lichtenstein sold a painting based on a comics panel drawn by Heath for $4 million dollars, while Heath got nothing.  He currently is 84 years old and survives on Social Security.  Thankfully, Hero has helped him out when he's needed it.

Sometimes even superheroes need to be rescued.