Sunday, June 10, 2012

The Peasants Are Getting Sonnets: An Interview With Pop Novelist King Karl Wenclas


If I recall correctly, I met King Karl Wenclas when I was doing research on zines for my dissertation back in 2000 or so.  He was just starting the Underground Literary Alliance (ULA) with some fellow zinesters, and they were going to invade American literature and make it less boring through some protests and other literary activism.  That they did, and I got caught up in the fun, joining the organization myself for a few years.  I appreciated Wenclas's literary criticism and his zines, particularly War Hysteria, which he bravely released at the height of war on terror fever in 2001/02.  Since the ULA has run its course, Wenclas has been concentrating more on his own writing than on literary activism, but he and Anis Shivani probably still duke it out for the title of the most caustic critic in literature today (sorry, Michiko Kakutani, you're a pussycat compared to these two tigers).  He just released The Tower, a novel about a group of activists protesting a new sports stadium in an American city, and that's how our conversation starts.

1) Why did you put out The Tower as an ebook and not as a zine?


For two reasons. One is that it's easier to produce an ebook, once you figure it out. Second is that right now I'm flat broke and couldn't afford the copying and mailing costs. But I think The Tower would be great as a zine. A person can actually do more with zines-- like selling them at readings. Kinda hard to do with ebooks. That said, ebooks look to be the future of reading. I'd like to get at the forefront of what promises to be a sea change in how literature is produced, distributed, and read.

2) How do you think ebooks are affecting American literature?  Are things better than last decade when the Underground Literary Alliance was protesting the dismal state of it?

A good question. My impression is that the literary elite is more insular and hostile to change than ever before. They fear what ebooks are going to do to them. In public comments from the likes of Ann Patchett and Leon Wieseltier about Amazon and ebooks one receives nothing but emanations of fear. Ten years ago they were so complacent about their standing and their art that they could afford to let the ULA make a little noise. This couldn't happen now.

Unlike ten years ago, real change is coming that will sweep aside their world. I saw change in the city of Detroit, of a different kind, throughout my life. Wrenching change.  I saw the same complacency and the same underlying economic forces that were impossible to stop. The same kind of change is happening to publishing because of ebooks. There's just no way for a top-heavy publishing system with enormous built-in overhead costs to compete, in the long run, against 99-cent ebooks produced by low-rent characters like you or me. The Big Six are producing cheap ebooks also, of course, but that's not where they make their money. They're still dependent on the $25 print novel to pay the bills. It's what the Apple-Amazon lawsuit is about. The big guys were trying to stop natural forces that can't be stopped.

What underground writers have going for them is that we're not locked into a rigid model. We have flexibilty with our art. I believe that the novel can be both literary and pop. It can be readable and fun but also art. No one knows what kinds of writers will survive the coming sea change. What won't survive is the standard finely-detailed, slow-moving "literary" novel, which has been artificially propped up by the mass print media and the official arts organizations for decades. That kind of introspective writing isn't what people want. The public wants characters who dominate a stage; who are larger-than-life. They want superheroes. So I'm trying to make my characters, or at least one of them in my latest ebook, properly "large." Classic storytelling art. Homer after all gave his listeners larger-than-life characters.

If we can't create or lead the changes, we can at least surf them.

3) Speaking of the Underground Literary Alliance, what do you think the group's legacy is?  Literate-driven precursors of the Occupy and Tea Party movements, or a brief flare-up of the underground into the mainstream that will chiefly be remembered as communists and terrorists as their enemies described them (the Tom Bissell Believer essay was recently republished in his essay collection)?

One of the questions I ask in The Tower is: Who gets to write the history? Who constructs the narrative? Those outside the systems of authority and power are unable to, unless they construct their own histories, their own organs of voice and message; their own platform. That's what the ULA was attempting to do.

Those in the halls of established literature constructed a distorted narrative about the ULA, pushed it home and made theirs the accepted narrative about us. As you point out, "literary terrorists." If it's printed by authority, it becomes the truth. It's why our window of opportunity was so brief-- we had to establish a platform before the walls went up against us. We moved too slowly. We thought we had forever to get our books out there, or to build some kind of substantive foundation, even a nonprofit organization, which in hindsight we should've done. We lacked urgency, even I did, though the urgency I sometimes expressed was taken as too demanding by some.  The odds against us were impossible from the start. For myself, I was too easily sidetracked by the ULA's opponents, when I should've stayed narrowly focused. But that's hard to do. One has to restrain natural temper and have no ego. Life is a process of knocking away ego, stripping aside vanity and illusion.

I believe our legacy is more than we can see at the moment. We had a great history. That can't be taken away from us. The ULA is like Crazy Horse. Exterminated in cold-blooded fashion. Yet Crazy Horse lives on. You can't exterminate an idea. You can't exterminate authenticity, which the ULA had by the truckload and which new generations are always looking for.

The irony is that now literary elitists like the folks at n+1 and even those who most scorned us are supporting the very kinds of actions that the Underground Literary Alliance engaged in ten years ago. Yes, we were ahead of the curve. Definitely precursors. The contradiction doesn't register with them, except maybe at the back of their heads. They push the notion to the rear, but it's still there. I find curious the idea that years after we were relevant, many literary people remain fascinated by us and what we did. We're the Other. The ultimate literary rebels. I notice that even Bissell, in a recent interview with Ed Champion, discusses the ULA. (I haven't listened to the interview, but was told about it.) I'm sure he gives the false narrative, again, but the notion of the literary Outsider continues to trouble him.

It's a psychological truth that the more you repress an idea, the stronger it becomes.

4) What ideas are you interested in now?  What are your current projects?

My current project is American Pop Lit. Like a million other writers, I'm producing ebooks. I hope to distinguish mine from the mass. Instead of making easy genre lit, I'm attempting a fusion of styles, so the reading is fast and fun but also meaningful and relevant.

Having ideas about a style or genre of writing, to support and justify that style, is necessary in today's crowded literary scene. Supporting ideas add value to the writing. I still believe that the indy and populist ideas we inherited from the zine scene are winning ideas. But ideas are useless without ways to bring those ideas to the mainstream. How do we announce our writing to the larger society? I ponder this question often.

5) Anything else that you want to tell the world at the moment?

I would simply ask the world to support indy literature by purchasing independent ebooks. Thanks.

Check out more King Karl Wenclas at his blog!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Critical Survey of Graphic Novels: Independents & Underground Classics

Critical Survey of Graphic Novels:  Independents & Underground Classics has apparently been published (I haven't seen it yet).  It's a huge encyclopedia about graphic novels.  It has a companion devoted to superheroes, but the alt volume includes three entries by me ("Alec:  The Years Have Pants," "Our Cancer Year," and "Wilson").  Read them at your local library, unless you have $395 to spare!  

Monday, June 4, 2012

The Zine Novel: An Emerging Canon of Underground Literature

I was going through some old papers and came across the following one, which I presented at the Popular Culture Association National Conference in 2005 (and which is still written in the MLA format of the time).  Some of the ideas I adapted into an encyclopedia entry that I wrote about zines for an encyclopedia called Books and Beyond, but the paper has never been published (I moved on to other topics).  Still, I found it interesting, and perhaps you will as well!

The Zine Novel:  The Emerging Canon of Underground Literature

Within the last decade or so, the subculture surrounding zines—personal, noncommercial publications produced with the most affordable and available technology and typically opposed in some manner to mainstream culture and society—has begun to produce several novelists, including Sean Carswell, Aaron Cometbus, Jeff Gomez, Pagan Kennedy, Joe Meno, Jim Munroe, and Eddie Willson.  Initially, these zine writers turned novelists were published by major publishers, but in recent years zine novelists are avoiding major publishers in favor of either smaller, independent publishers, or self-publication.  This paper examines the characteristics of the “zine novel” and how the movement of these writers from zines to novels is affecting their work, the zine subculture, the larger literary culture, and contemporary society.

Small press literary works have a long history from revolutionary war broadsides to the little magazines of modernism.  Zines trace their direct lineage from the fanzines produced by science fiction enthusiasts in the late 1920s/early 1930s.  Spreading to other enthusiasms beyond science fiction such as rock and roll music and mixing with other dissident media such as mimeograph literary chapbooks and underground newspapers, zines became more common in the late 1970s when photocopying made mass production of a personal publication increasingly affordable and available.  The golden age of zines was perhaps the 1980s/1990s when more zines were produced than ever on innumerable subjects, zine publishers established a network of trading publications with one another, and the entire zine phenomenon attracted mainstream media attention complete with book deals (Wright 23-48).

Although most of the zine writers who received contracts with mainstream publishers during those boom years produced books about zines as a cultural phenomenon, or anthologies of work from various zines, or a collection of their own zine, at least two zine writers produced novels:  Jeff Gomez and Pagan Kennedy.  Gomez’s novel Our Noise, about the lives of indie rockers and slackers in a small college town in Virginia, emerged from a series of short stories he had published as a literary zine, or “litzine” for short, by the same name (Gomez, Satellites).  Kennedy, who turned to zine-publishing for relief from the traditional fiction-writing world, found that her first novel Spinsters, about a pair of sisters who take a roadtrip after their father’s death in the late 1960s, was envigorated by her zine publishing experience (Kennedy, ’Zine).  In addition to Gomez and Kennedy, earlier zine writers also wrote novels.  For example, Kathy Acker published a serial novel in the mail art network of the 1970s before she came to prominence as a postmodern novelist in the 1980s and Bob Black in Beneath the Underground, his look at early zine culture in the 1980s, notes that some zinesters such as Thom Metzger later published novels with mainstream presses (typically horror fiction) (Acker 8-9; Black 23-26).
 
By the late 1990s, more zine writers migrated to the novel.  As Black explains, “The book trend is likely to continue since, as Jacob Rabinowitz of Verlag Golem says, for the effort it takes to put out a fanzine you might as well publish books” (25).  However, perhaps because the zine writers who followed Gomez and Kennedy lacked those writers’ mainstream pedigrees (Gomez’s work was championed by novelist Bret Easton Ellis and Kennedy has an M.F.A. in Creative Writing from Johns Hopkins University) or were simply more firmly entrenched in the do it yourself (DIY) independent stance of zines, most of these writers were skeptical of mainstream publishing if not openly hostile to it.

In fact, two zine novelists, Joe Meno and Jim Munroe, published novels with corporate publishers earlier in their careers but chose to publish their later works independently.  Aesthetically, Meno produced the best novel of his career, Hairstyles of the Damned, about a teen growing up in Chicago during the early 1990s, by stepping away from the major publishers to an independent press for his third novel.  Given the insult to major publishers on the acknowledgments page, it’s clear that his qualitative leap had not just to do with more experience in writing novels but also with having more creative control over his work (Meno, Hairstyles).  Munroe’s decision also has to do with autonomy, but went beyond aesthetics, as he realized after his first novel was published by a major corporate publisher that he could probably make just as much if not more money publishing on his own,  and have complete control over his work and its marketing to boot (Munroe, No Media Kings).  He’s subsequently published his later novels on his own (at least in Canada, in other countries, some are licensed to larger publishing houses such as Four Walls, Eight Windows in the United States) starting with his second novel Angry Young Spaceman, a comedic science fiction novel about a human who goes to teach English on another planet.  Furthermore, Munroe has shared his experiences in self-publishing to help other writers and artists interested in striking out on their own, by organizing the Perpetual Motion Roadshow, a tour circuit throughout North America for independent artists, and by offering a wealth of resources for self-publishers on his website (www.nomediakings.org).

In addition to the zine novelists who have returned to their DIY roots, there are also zine novelists who skipped the mainstream experience entirely.  For example, Victor Thorn and Sean Carswell both self-published their first novels.  Thorn’s The End of Fiction is about, appropriately enough, a maverick writer who takes on the publishing industry, whereas Carswell’s Drinks for the Little Guy concerns a carpenter’s disappearance in Florida.  Both novelists then went on to found presses that published other writers (Sisyphus and Gorsky respectively).  In addition to the ultimate act of self-publishing, other zine novelists sought out independent presses to publish their novels.  For example,  Bill Brown, publisher of the zine Dream Whip, published his novel Saugus to the Sea, a hipster mystery set in Los Angeles, with independent press Smart Cookie Publishing, who in the classic zine tradition try to publish works that “present an alternative to mainstream culture” (Smart Cookie).  Indeed, these three writers are representative of many other zine novelists who moved from publishing or writing for zines to writing novels and publishing books.

Though the books by Brown, Carswell, Meno, Munroe, and Thorn look the same as any other trade paperback that a reader would find on a bookshelf in a bookstore, some zine novelists even keep their work closer in appearance to their DIY roots.  Aaron Cometbus, publisher of the long-running punk personal zine (or "perzine" as it is referred to in the zine community) Cometbus, publishes novels as regular issues of his zine.  One such novel Double Duce, about a group of punks sharing a house, was later republished in trade paperback format by Last Gasp.  Cometbus’s novels appear to be mostly autobiographical but since the roman a clef is a long tradition in literature if he wants to call it fiction, there’s no reason to quibble.

Because Cometbus is a very popular zine, it is offset printed and not photocopied such as most zines are.  However, British writer Eddie Willson keeps his novel The Black Car Leaving, about a group of friends in a small English town in the 1970s who get into punk rock, even closer to zinedom by photocopying and stapling it.  Willson turned to the zine format for his novel after frustration with traditional publishing circles led him to an epiphany that he should do what one of his characters would do and just publish it himself.  He sells the novel via mail order, in book and record shops, and, most enterprisingly, on the streets of London person to person.

Not all zine novelists keep as close to the classic zine format as Willson however.  Some zine novelists have left print for electronic publishing (as have many zine publishers in general as electronic publishing with the spread of blogs and websites has become more accessible and affordable than print for many people).  For example, Jeff Somers, an extremely prolific writer who has published the lit/perzine The Inner Swine for a decade and who published his novel Lifers, about a group of office workers turned criminals, in 2001 with Creative Arts Book Company (an independent publisher often accused of being a vanity press that went out of business in 2004), publishes some of his novels as ebooks on his website (Somers, Inner Swine).  Other zine novelists such as Mickey Hess and Crazy Carl Robinson have also published online in serial installments or as a whole (Hess; Robinson).

Whether online or in print, the swell of zine novelists in recent years has become quite notable in zine circles.  The number of zine novelists has also crested to the point where it cannot help but attract the notice of the larger literary world, a notice fueled by a conscientious assault upon the literary world in recent years by a group of zine writers known as The Underground Literary Alliance (or  ULA), of which I am a member.  The ULA formed in 2000, to promote underground writers such as zine novelists and confront the mainstream publishing industry about what the ULA views as the poor quality of contemporary literature, blamed on nepotism in the publishing industry and on the cookie-cutter poetry and prose produced by graduates of university creative writing programs (Underground Literary Alliance).  Furthermore, the ULA argues that those selfsame creative writing programs are not only elitist, attempting to professionalize writing at the expense of democratic vitality, but akin to pyramid schemes, taking in students who can only get jobs teaching creative writing, producing yet more students who can only get jobs teaching creative writing.  The ULA led by King Karl Wenclas, a longtime zinester, has been quite controversial but successful in attracting mainstream attention, much of it alarmed--an article, hysterical in more ways than one, about the group in an issue of The Believer suggested the group was akin to literary terrorists and Stalinists--but so far, aside from their zine The Slush Pile, the group has not published any novels (though individual members have), but that seems to be among their ultimate goals (Bissell).

If the ULA did publish novels, what would they be like?  Taking ten zine novels as a representative sample of the movement--Our Noise, Spinsters, Hairstyles of the Damned, Angry Young Spaceman, The End of Fiction, Drinks for the Little Guy, Saugus to the Sea, Double Duce, The Black Car Leaving, and Lifers—some characteristics of the zine novel become evident.  One is that the majority of the novels utilize a first-person perspective (nine out of the ten—only Our Noise does not), though two of the novels—Drinks for the Little Guy and The Black Car Leaving--offer a third-person perspective in addition.  This preference for first-person perspective is entirely keeping with the zine emphasis on personal communication. 

Furthermore, all of the novels deal mainly with youthful characters, usually teens or twentysomethings, typically involved in fringe culture, whether punk rock or crime.  This too is not surprising since most zines are produced by younger people, usually looking for friends one way or another, and most zines are steeped in some sort of marginal subculture opposed to the mainstream such as punk rock music.  In fact, most of the novels are set in contemporary times as well, only Spinsters and Hairstyles of the Damned take place in the past (the late 1960s and early 1990s respectively), and Angry Young Spaceman takes place in the future home to most science fiction (and only Angry Young Spaceman clearly utilizes a recognized literary genre, though both Drinks for the Little Guy and Saugus to the Sea exhibit traits of mystery novels).

In addition, the majority of the writers (nine out of ten) of the zine novels are men (Pagan Kennedy is a woman).  Most do not appear to be of minority descent aside from Gomez who is Latino and Cometbus who is Jewish.  None of the writers are known to be homosexual.  The majority of the writers appear to be straight, white, heterosexual males.  What are we to make of this?  Perhaps demographically the majority of novelists overall are still straight, white, heterosexual males, but it could also be suggested that just as the publishing industry and literary community have embraced multiculturalism (and rightly so), writers who would in past times perhaps find spaces on major publishing houses lists find those spaces filled instead with gay, minority, and women novelists.  It is also interesting to note that most of the zine novelists do appear to come from modest means (working class or middle class backgrounds), while many contemporary mainstream literary novelists appear to emerge from ivy league schools and wealthier backgrounds.  Furthermore, only four of the zine novelists (Gomez, Munroe, Somers, and Willson) live in centers of the publishing world such as New York City, London, or Toronto, and of course two of those four were published by mainstream publishers in their careers.  Thus the class and geographic factors may explain that the zine novelists lack the social connections often necessary to get published by mainstream presses, and feel some exclusion that way (clearly, the ULA feels marginalized in this manner, based on their caustic critiques of mainstream publishing being elitist).

However, the majority of the zine novelists appear happier independent anyway, taking the DIY credo of the zine world into books.  They’ve found a warm response from readers as well, at least within the zine community, where their books are reviewed in zines such as Zine World and Xerography Debt.  There are some bookstores where they feel right at home as well such as Quimby’s in Chicago, which stocks numerous zines.  Indeed, to walk into Quimby’s is to stumble upon the physical manifestation of an alternative literary canon.  Although one will find many representatives of the mainstream literary tradition there from issues of McSweeney’s to books by Franz Kafka, one finds more books by writers sadly too often ignored by the mainstream literary canon (based on anthologies of literature typically taught in college courses) such as writers from the past such as Charles Bukowski to contemporary writers such as the zine novelists.

Though the zine novelists haven’t set any sales records yet, nor will they be in consideration anytime soon for the Nobel Prize in Literature (regardless of the quality of their work, they’re simply too far under the radar at the moment), the trend of zine publishers turning novelists is likely to continue and gather strength as efforts such as the Perpetual Motion Roadshow and the Underground Literary Alliance build a larger audience of readers interested in this alternative literature.  However, unless the novelists expand their range beyond slacker lifestyles and youthful characters, it’s unlikely that they will ever attract much attention outside of the zine subculture.  However, if they expand their range and continue to develop their expertise in publishing and writing while remaining rooted in the personal, DIY, alternative roots of zine culture, they could represent a real challenge to mainstream literature and publishing.  Particularly if they keep bringing issues and voices in a spirited, if scruffy, fashion to the literary world that would be otherwise ignored, the zine novelists could rejuvenate literature for the better, and affect society through literature (clearly, the ULA’s goal).  At the moment, however, the zine novel appears to be in an early stage, but a 21st century canon of underground literature does appear to be developing.  Kennedy once wrote in her book ’Zine, about her experiences publishing a zine that  “I had finally learned how to write the Great American Underground Novel—though it ended up being a ’zine instead” (9).  Now the reverse appears to be true as zine writers start out creating zines but end up producing Great American Underground Novels instead.    

Works Cited

Acker, Kathy.  Hannibal Lector, My Father.  New York, NY:  Semiotext(e), 1991.

Bissell, Tom.  “Protesting All Fiction Writers!”  The Believer July 2003:  3-17.

Black, Bob.  Beneath the Underground.  Portland, OR:  Feral House, 1994.

Brown, Bill.  Saugus to the Sea.  Vancouver, BC:  Smart Cookie, 2001.

Carswell, Sean.  Drinks for the Little Guy.  Cocoa Beach, FL:  Gorsky Press, 1999.

Cometbus, Aaron.  Despite Everything:  A Cometbus Omnibus.  San Francisco, CA:  Last Gasp, 2002.

---.  Double Duce.  San Francisco, CA:  Last Gasp, 2003.

Gomez, Jeff.  Our Noise.  New York, NY:  Scribner, 1995.

---.  Satellites That Don’t Call Home.  6 Dec. 2004  http://www.dontcallhome.com

Hess, Mickey.  Mickey Hess.  6 Dec. 2004 http://www.mickeyhess.net

Kennedy, Pagan.  Spinsters.  New York, NY:  High Risk/Serpent’s Tail, 1995.

---.  ’Zine.  New York, NY:  St. Martin’s Griffin, 1995.

Meno, Joe.  Hairstyles of the Damned.  New York, NY:  Akashic/Punk Planet, 2004.

---.  How the Hula Girl Sings.  New York, NY:  ReganBooks/HarperCollins, 2001. 

---.  Tender As Hellfire.  New York, NY:  St. Martin’s, 1999.

Munroe, Jim.  Angry Young Spaceman.  New York, NY:  Four Walls Eight Windows, 2001.

---.  Everyone in Silico.  New York, NY:  Four Walls Eight Windows, 2002.

---.  Flyboy Action Figure Comes with Gasmask.  Toronto, ON:  Harper Flamingo Canada, 1998.

---.  Infinity Points.  Willowdale, ON:  Lickspittle Ventures, 1995.

---.  No Media Kings.  6 Dec. 2004 http://www.nomediakings.org

---.  An Opening Act of Unspeakable Evil.  Toronto, ON:  No Media Kings, 2004.

Robinson, Crazy Carl.  “Dead in the Head Excerpts.” WredFright.Com 16 May 2004.  6 Dec. 2004 http://www.wredfright.com/ccdith.html

Smart Cookie Publishing. 6 Dec.2004 http://www.webspotter.com/smartcookie/

Somers, Jeff.  The Inner Swine.  6 Dec. 2004 http://www.innerswine.com
---.  Lifers.  Berkeley, CA:  Creative Arts Book Company, 2001. 

Thorn, Victor.  The End of Fiction.  State College, PA:  Sisyphus Press, 2000.

Underground Literary Alliance.  ULA Fan Page.  6 Dec. 2004 http://www.literaryrevolution.com.

Willson, Eddie.  The Black Car Leaving.  London, UK:  Self, Self, Self Publishing, 2002.

Wright, Frederick.  “From Zines to Ezines:  Electronic Publishing and the Literary Underground.” Diss. Kent State U., 2001.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Yip!: New Bobby Conn Album

American music has been pretty bland lately.  At first, I thought it was just grumpyoldmanism striking, but I've conferred with a few others, so it's not just myself who feels this way (if it is a delusion or mistaken assessment, then at least I'm not alone in thinking it; erroneous thinking is always more comforting in groups--think of  cults/religions or political parties).  In a lot of ways, it's 1975 again, a very boring period in rock and roll.  Fortunately, if it is 1975-like, maybe a grand explosion of punk/new wave is just around the corner.  If not, then at least we can content ourselves with a few bright spots, such as Bobby Conn, who has just released a new album, Macaroni.  So far, "Govt" is my favorite, but that could change.  Conn is a good songwriter, so he gives lots of options.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Rent A Goat

Many Americans seem obsessed by their lawns.

I am not one of them.

I only mow the lawn because the municipality I live in would fine me if I didn't.

A field in the front yard would be fine with me.  Ditto for a range in the rear yard

Unfortunately, my neighbors' obsession with reenacting the conquest of civilization over wilderness, usually through the means of loud and noxious machinery, compels me to break out my wee reel mower monthly.

It's in those moments that I fantasize about getting a pet goat, who would happily keep my lawn trimmed with his teeth.

I doubt my city would let me have a pet goat (it's the kind of place that requires a license to hold a garage sale--and, no, I'm not kidding), which gets my goat.

Nevertheless, I was delighted to learn of Urban Shepherds, who will lease sheep out to eat grass.

Unfortunately, my little lawn would only require one sheep and apparently sheep get lonely (Who knew? Maybe some sheep, not me) so I am ineligible for the program.

Nevertheless, I feel that I am now one step closer to the day when I can get a goat.

Or at least rent one.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Time To Do The Presidential Election On EBay?

Thank God, I don't watch much television. But for those of you who do, especially in the "battleground" presidential election states of the United States such as Ohio, prepare to be swamped from now until Election Day with annoying political commercials trying to get you to vote for Obama or Romney. Apparently, this election will be the most expensive ever. Perhaps we might want to just pass a constitutional amendment that auctions the presidency off on eBay and put the money raised towards the national debt. It would likely have the same result as the current process and make everyone, except for the owners of television stations, much happier.