drinkdrankdrunk: "I Met Red Green" by Pat Simonelli

  

Our next star was huge in Canuckistan.  And don't worry, eh, he was actually very funny.  I met Red Green when I was living in Georgetown, Illinois--went and bought his book in Champaign.  The bookseller was nice.  She seemed happy that a star like Green would come to a book signing in her store which is why I was there.

I was a fan of his show before I used to watch it online if not on tv which I didn't have.  He was so funny, the type of guy who makes you laugh just looking at him, and I mean that in a positive way, not an insult kind of way.  His name is even funny, the stop and go contrast.

There also was a nerdy guy on his show who used to crack me up.  Canadian humor was a big thing, chalk it up with moose hunting or whatever they do there.

Green was an old raspy voiced guy.  I thought the rasp was part of his act, but no, apparently it was the real thing.

On the day in question I got there well ahead of the expected hour for the author to arrive, so I browsed around the bookstore like the nerd that I am.  I've since lost the book many moves ago, and I can't remember what it was called, but that's why we have the Internet.

I do recall that the book was printed on cheap paper.  I guess they don't have enough trees in Canada!

Paper aside, it's something I would have kept as the man I consider a comic genius signed it to me.  I also would have taken a photo with him if meeting him wasn't stress enough.  Coulda woulda shoulda.

Finally, he came and signed it to me.  I admitted I was a big fan of his show and watched it all the time . . . weekly, I think.

Afterwards I got on the highway and kept on living my life in Georgetown.  But that's the time I met him, and I'm glad I did.

I've had to put up with that Tool Time, uh, tool on my primetime tv, but Green was actually funny!

Pat Simonelli is a writer for Literary Vision Press.  Temp address as of September 2026 = 128 Osborne St., #403, Danbury CT 06810 USA.  We are happy to get the former Webmaster of The Underground Literary Alliance back online!