Satan Tortilla - "Satan Tortilla"

This was my one gig with Satan Tortilla, and it was the band's first gig. It was at The Good Tymes Pub in Bowling Green, Ohio USA on June 18, 1991 and was a fun show. I was living with Simon, the drummer of The Escaped Fetal Pigs, that summer, and we had some free time, so we joined a band our buddy Kramer was putting together. He played bass and got a couple of other local eccentrics to join in. Jose (I don't remember the name exactly, so that may be incorrect) was a really good guitar player, which was good because I was still learning to play, and Steve was a Bowling Green State University English instructor whose role in the band was to smash stuff for additional percussion.

It was a very weird band.

Underneath the distortion and effects that Kramer loved and which made us distinctive from other punk and psychedelic rock bands in town (you know aside from having a guy in a hockey mask and overalls chop up guitars) was a pretty good garage rock band. This song was our theme song. The lyrics went something like "Satan Tortilla. It's going to eat ya." It was my favorite of the tunes. You can see it here complete with flying tortillas being flung at the audience and being flung back (watch for Billy from Madhatter Music's amazing catch and rethrow of one). The video also includes some spoken word thing about the 1960s and the start of another tune. I was only in the band briefly. I went back to Pennsylvania for the rest of the summer, and the band continued on without me. I think Simon kept playing with them. Either I was too busy in the fall when I returned to rejoin, or I had already been replaced. I don't remember. The band later put out a couple 7" records, but this video is all that remains to document my tenure in the band.

I think I still have that shirt somewhere.  I miss those shoes, Vision Street Wear if I remember correctly.  If anyone knows where to find a new pair, get in touch.

New Short Story!

New Pop Lit will be publishing a new short story of mine called "Yelp In Reverse" soon.  I will let you know when it's up.

New Thirsty Bear & Hungry Snake!

Every once in a while, I get some spare time combined with a desire to do a photocomic starring a stuffed bear and a sock puppet snake.  Recently, that happened.  The result is below:

The Fake News Gazette

The Trump News Gazette*

Publishing All The News Donald Trump Likes Since 1783**

Today, the greatest President ever*** announced his new initiative to end all problems in America. Typically, the fake news media did not cover this announcement, focusing instead of some tawdry, unimportant scandal****. Yet, the news was huge. Called "Keep America From Becoming a Shithole," the new initiative takes all the money from the U.S Treasury and loans it to Trump, Inc. to finance an array of daring projects.***** The President touted just a project or two, and, by the way, if you'll pardon this aside from your humble correspondent, the President's hair looked AWESOME! But back to the content, for example, the Ohio Turnpike will now be named The Trump Turnpike. "I like the ring of that," the President said, "Kasich couldn't get the job done when he tried to sell the turnpike, but I get things done."

The audience was puzzled by the mention of Kasich, then Sarah Huckabee Sanders ran to the podium and explained to the audience that he was the governor of Ohio. "Forget him!" the President said, "I mean forget him again. You already forgot him. Sad! I also have some huge news. As you know I have asked for the resignation of my current Secretary of War."

Huckabee Sanders whispered something in the President's ear.

"Oh, yes," the President continued, "Defense. Defense. Like football. All right, folks, let's not get me started on the NFL. Shameful. Sad! Anyway, I think the best defense is a good offense, so I was very, very disappointed that the current Secretary of War, I mean Defense, hadn't started any wars. I mean, he's been in office for a year. And not a single war. I mean I'm not going to be like Obama and just be content to continue the wars of other presidents. I want one of my own. I want the history books to note a Trump Doctrine like that, you know, Madison Doctrine or whatever. So I am appointing Bobby Lashley as my new Secretary of Defense. Folks, he's tremendous. I worked with Bobby when I did some wrestling with my great friend Vince McMahon in his WWF. Bobby's also black, so to all those people who say I am racist, look who I am appointing as Secretary of War. He's going to do a tremendous job, folks. And to further prove I'm not racist, I'm going to ask Bobby to start in a white country, maybe Norway, for his first war."

"Come out, Bobby," the President called, and Bobby bounced onto the stage and posed shirtless, flexing his muscles for the crowd, "No, we'll start off with something easy like Iceland. Maybe you should have put in that Trump golf course, folks. The geysers would have been awesome if we made them water hazards. But, seriously, folks, Iceland's a terrific country. It's going to make a great state someday after we take it over."'

The audience applauded the President's brilliance. Bobby Lashley bodyslammed the one member of the audience who didn't applaud.******

*Formerly The Fake News Gazette

**Correction, since 2018

***Correction, the current President, not the greatest President, which is a title historians argue about.

****The current impeachment of the President trial going on in the Senate

*****Ideas left over from the Obama Administration that the Republican Congress would not fund.

 ******He later apologized to the man who it turned out was a double amputee who didn't have hands. The President invited the man to dinner and asked everyone there to give him a hand for attending. Then, noticing his unintended pun, he noted that everyone with hands should start their own "#MeToo" movement on Twitter since people without hands had real problems unlike those whiny feminists. The President further noted that the double amputee would be liked very well by those feminists since he couldn't grab anyone by the pussy. At this comment, Huckabee Sanders rose and slipped out the side door and went and had several Irish Car Bombs at a bar with Sean Spicer and your humble correspondent, who had also left earlier to start drinking heavily to write this article.

She-Hulk Joins The Avengers Again!

Well, you can't keep a good Hulk down.  Not much long after She-Hulk's own series got smashed (again!), she has reappeared.  She's back in The Avengers.  That was enough for me to try the first issue.  Not as fun as FF, her last team book that I bought, but it's good to see the character in use.  Writers of team books such as The Avengers always enjoy having characters they can develop since many of the other characters such as Captain America have solo books and, as a consequence, those writing their team books have less leeway with them.  So it looks like Shulkie will be playing that free spirit role for writer Jason Aaron.  From the one page with She-Hulk in the first issue, it looks as if Aaron is continuing Mariko Tamaki's storyline of She-Hulk as a post-traumatic stress disorder survivor.  I much prefer a fun She-Hulk, so I probably will be sitting this series out.  It isn't bad, but, having read many, many comic books over the years, it takes a bit more to hook me than what is here.  Still, it is nice to see She-Hulk back in the spotlight again so quickly.  Maybe if she becomes a fan-favorite here, then the wait for her next solo book will be much shorter!

Flyer For The July 21st Reading

Mike Fournier sent along a nifty flyer made for the July 21st reading.  Here it is: