Tuesday, June 30, 2020

drinkdrankdrunk: "Excerpt From American MaleWhore In Tokyo" by Rowen Boozewell

"Cool.  Fill this out and we'll see what we can do."  Gutter placed a sheet of paper on the table.  It was a short but relatively standard work application. 

Box entered some personal information then came to a box asking what seemed to him to be his requirements to the club.  Not having seen a question like this in his job interview experience, he wondered what would make sense in this case.

A tolerance of foreigners?  STD tests for all customers?  A steady supply of rufees?

Not knowing how to say "rufees" in Japanese, he opted for a chance.  Lame, yes, but the type of BS he believes potential employers generally want to hear.

The next box was, 'Your Message to the Manager.'

As heavy drinking is part of the job, I'm assuming there is a lenient attitude towards urine-related incidents but nevertheless I would like to graciously thank you in advance for your tolerance and understanding should I stand at the top of the entrance stairs and rain yellow on folks gathered below.  And the like.

But again taking the ingratiating route (known commonly as the pussy route), Box went with, I would just be so thrilled to work at a club as classy and fun as Cirrus--which I'm certain makes dreams come true on a nightly basis--that I would without a doubt be the hardest working host Shinjuku has ever seen.

The final box was, 'Host Name Candidates,' and the following instructions were printed to the side.

Please write down potential host names that you would like to be called.  The more you can think of the better.  If nothing comes to mind, just enter things you like.

Not feeling any need to hold back in this category, Box scribbled down the following names:

Lake;
Shintaro;
Bareback;
Lodestar;
Vivian Ward;
Ziggy the Dryhumper; and
finally, 
Jesus Jr., Little Jesus

Rowen Boozewell is the author of American MaleWhore In Tokyo:  The Great White Host, a memoir/novel about John Box's experiences being a host in a Tokyo nightclub.  Or maybe John Box wrote it using the nom de plume of Rowen Boozewell.  Beats me.  Anyway, I like it, and I am happy to feature this excerpt from the book on drinkdrankdrunk!  You can find more John Box, Rowen Boozewell, or whomever the hell he is at pearlsbeforeswine68.com

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