Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Blog Love Omega Glee: The Secret Origin Of The Cleaveland Coyote (15 September 2012)

Once upon a time there was a little boy whose mother died and whose father had long since run off to parts unknown. The parents were from different backgrounds, which sounds very romantic like Romeo and Juliet until you remember that those lovers both ended up dead at a tragically young age (all lovers, like everyone else, end up dead eventually, but dead old lovers aren't as tragic, which arguably doesn't make much sense since, you know, dead old lovers have been lovers for decades, which makes it sad when they have to part after so much time, whereas Romeo and Juliet being young twits--Well, how would you describe them? Read the actual play and then try to tell yourself that they aren't twits. It won't work--might have gotten sick of one another a couple of years later and broken up, but enough about R&J and back to the boy and his parents). But the different backgrounds the boy's parents were from weren't just being from different parts of town, though their differences did manifest in that manner, nor were the boy's parents' backgrounds just a matter of different social class or how much wealth one family had piled up in comparison to the other, though their differences manifested that way, nor was the difference just of culture, though that too was all a part of it. Most of the differences were based on that they looked different from one another and not different in the sense that everyone looks different from one another but different in the sense that human beings make a big deal of too much: their skin color was different. So the boy's mother's parents didn't want to take him in since he was mixed and what would their whitey white neighbors think, so the boy's father's mother sighed and took him in and, having just finished raising one son, started raising another.

This time she vowed to do it right.

The grandmother emphasized politeness and thinking of others, not just oneself, upon the boy. She was as much pleased with the boy as she had been displeased with his father who had taken too much after his father whom she had shown the door many years before after one too many whores had come into their marriage. She had her Bible and she had her grandson and she was happy.

She also had her years and when the boy had not long become a man and had a fine job as a schoolteacher being a role model for other boys all too often fatherless themselves, she died. She died, being proud of her grandson, though she knew pride was a danger. Still, he was the politest, most thoughtful person she ever knew, even if he did spend too much time reading those comic books and not enough playing outside. She had read some of those comics herself and wondered at how many of those heroes--Superman, Batman, Spider-Man--were lost little boys without fathers as well. Maybe that was the attraction for him. In any case, they certainly helped with his reading and since he did well in school she had seen no harm in them, even when he had continued to read them into adulthood.

She had worried about whatever would happen to him when she was gone, but when she was gone what happened was he just kept her bedroom exactly as it was and closed the door. Then he had a nervous breakdown, quit his job, rented the other rooms out to bring some money in, read comics constantly, and tried to avoid going outside where people were ruder everyday.

One day someone told him the world would end on December 21, 2012, but he didn't care much since his world ended long ago the day his grandmother--the only person he ever loved and whom he feels ever loved him--died.

He did start reading his comics faster though.

It would be a shame to have the world end with comics yet unread.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Blog Love Omega Glee: Monarchy Is Mockery But A Royal Massage Is Really Marvelous (14 September 2012)

"How come we didn't just take the turnpike?" Jake asks from the backseat of North's car, as they drive through Streetsboro on Route 14 on their way to a wrestling show in Youngstown.

"Because we'd have to pay a toll and I'm cheap," North says, steering their way past abandoned stripmalls.

"This lad will go far in indie wrestling. He's already learned the first lesson: 'If you can get it for free, then don't pay a fee'." Ringo says, looking up from his phone, "Say this show is near Warren, do you want to stop in at one of the Asian massage parlors there after the show?"

"Doesn't that go against your philosophy?" Jake says.

"Heh," Ringo says, "Not really though. The second lesson is 'Some things are worth paying for'."

"I don't know, man. Oc would be mad if I did that," North says.

"Oc? I thought you broke up with her. Isn't that why she didn't come with us?" Ringo asks.

"Well that and she had a mean hangover that made her pretty mean. But we break up twice a week so I don't know that I regard this latest breakup as substantial. It's more like breaking up is just part of our relationship."

"Please tell me you don't do that just for the makeup sex," Jake says, slapping his forehead with his hand.

"OK, I won't," North says.

"Well, what about you Jake? You and Francine are just friends now, right? She wouldn't mind," Ringo says, looking back.

"Er, Uh, Um," Jake says.

"Never mind. Let's just go to Waffle Whiz afterwards," Ringo says, sighing.

"Oh, we went there last time. How about Fish Taco King instead?" North says.

"No, the king can take his fish taco and shove it up his sovereign ass," Ringo says, "I refuse to go to any place named after royalty."

"Why's that?" Jake says.

"Because kings suck. Queens suck. Princes suck. Princesses suck. Dukes suck. Duchesses suck. Barons suck. Baronesses suck. Lords suck. Ladies suck. Earls suck. Whatever the fuck a female earl is called sucks too. Counts suck. Countesses suck. You get the idea. They're just the lazy descendants of some thugs who pushed the poor people around. The only thing lazier than them are people in their countries who haven't broken out the guillotine yet. I can't believe there's still royalty in the 21st century. And I can't believe people, especially in this country that got rid of their king, think kings are good enough to name restaurants and stuff after. People are stupid."

North points to a billboard, "What about that though? It says 'Asian Queen Spa' and ask for the 'Royal Special'."

"That would fall under the third lesson: 'There are always exceptions to rules'." Ringo says.

"As long as they bring about a 'happy ending', eh?" Jake says, "Well, you guys are the ones working tonight so you make the pick but I vote for Waffle Whiz."

"Speaking of whizzes, I hope we get there soon," North says, "I have to use the restroom."

"Just pull over, we won't be late," Ringo says.

"Thanks, you're a real prince," North says, steering the car onto the berm.

Ringo glares at him.

"Oops!" North says, "I meant to say 'pal'. Sorry!"

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Great Reading!

Thanks to everyone who came out to yesterday's reading--it was a lot of fun!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Blog Love Omega Glee: Who Would Steal A 1987 Buick LeSabre? (13 September 2012)

Francine weighs the three pound bag of apples in the scale at the supermarket on Believer Square, which is imaginatively titled Supermarket On Believer Square, and finds that it actually has three and a half pounds of apples in it. Pleasantly surprised, she places the bag in her buggy and wheels into the bread aisle where she finds Chris and Chris having an argument over which brand of Erin's Birthday Bagels to buy.

"We had cinnamon raisin last time," blonde-haired Chris says.

"But I hate onion," brown-haired Chris says.

"Hi, guys!" Francine says, then kicks herself mentally for using a potentially-gendered term of address.

Chris and Chris don't seem to take offense though and say in unison, "Hi, Francine!"

Francine wheels her buggy past them so that she doesn't block the aisle for other shoppers and says, "What's going on?"

"Oh, don't get Chris started," brown-haired Chris says.

"Why? What's up?" Francine asks.

Chris and Chris look at one another. "Do you want to tell her?" Chris says.

"I'm sick of telling the story. You tell her," Chris says.

"All right," Chris says, exasperated, "But we're getting cinnamon raisin then."

"Fine."

Francine is quietly about to wheel off when brown-haired Chris says, "Chris had his car stolen yesterday."

"Oh my God! That's terrible! What happened?"

"Well, he went out to go to work, and you know how he has to park on the street because our crazy apartment building had a postage stamp-sized space for a parking lot and so we only have one spot. So anyway he goes around the corner to where he parked and his car's not there. There's just a pile of broken glass. So he calls the cops and they already found his car. It was a couple of miles away in the middle of the hood by a boarded up house. It had been stripped of everything just about so the cops impounded it and Chris had to stand in line and pay to get his stolen car back."

"That stinks! Did you have a car alarm or anything?"

"No, I thought it being a 1987 Buick LeSabre was theft deterrent enough, but apparently not," blonde-haired Chris says, "When I went down to the impound lot, the car was missing a bunch of parts. It looked as if they needed a couple parts for their ancient car, so instead of heading to the junkyard, they just stole my car instead."

"Did you get it back?"

"No, I decided it wasn't worth fixing, so I just sold it to some wrecker. He can get it out of the impound lot. I sold it for less than the impound fee."

"I can't believe the city of Cleaveland charged you to get your stolen car back."

"That's OK. I can't believe I was dumb enough to move into Cleaveland."

"Oh, so we're moving now?" Chris says.

Francine bids adieu and wheels her buggy out of the bread aisle as Chris and Chris start another argument.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel.