Saturday, December 8, 2012

Are You A Bad Driver?

Based on my experiences driving lately, I have come to the conclusion that the license bureau now apparently gives people driver's licenses with all the discrimination that someone in a parade throws candy into a crowd.  Since I've heard that many studies have found that most people consider themselves above average drivers, a logical impossibility since only half of all drivers could be above average, I've composed a little quiz to help my fellow motorists measure their driving ability and suitability for sharing the public thoroughfares.  The quiz is based on data diligently gathered from driving around Cuyahoga County in Ohio, especially the East Side of Cleveland.

1) Do you drive a sport utility vehicle?

If yes, skip the rest of the quiz and scroll to the end.  If no, continue on.

2) Do you drive a pickup?

If yes, skip the rest of the quiz and scroll to the end.  If no, continue on.

3) Do you drive a car manufactured by a European car company (say, a BMW, Mercedes-Benz, Audi, Volvo, Volkswagen, and so forth)?

If yes, skip the rest of the quiz and scroll to the end.  If no, continue on.

4) Do you find driving an excellent time to catch up on your phone conversations?

If yes, skip the rest of the quiz and scroll to the end.  If no, continue on.

5) Do you have temporary license plates?

If yes, skip the rest of the quiz and scroll to the end.  If no, continue on.

6) Are you missing a hubcap or two?

If yes, skip the rest of the quiz and scroll to the end.  If no, continue on.

7) Do you think speed limit signs display the minimum speed you should be doing?

If yes, skip the rest of the quiz and scroll to the end.  If no, continue on.

8) Do you consider turn signals an optional accessory for your automobile?

If yes, skip the rest of the quiz and scroll to the end.  If no, continue on.

9)  Do you think that the proper space between autos when following another car should only be able to be measured in millimeters?

 If yes, skip the rest of the quiz and scroll to the end.  If no, continue on.

10) If you see a deer, do you slam on the brakes and point at it?

If yes, scroll to the end.  If no, you might be an above-average driver (though, given what I've seen lately, I have my doubts).  Please keep on driving carefully and courteously.  You don't need to scroll to the end of the quiz.  For the rest of you,  keep scrolling.






Keep scrolling.












 Keep scrolling (you're almost there!).












 Keep scrolling (really, you're almost at the end of the quiz!).









The End Of The Quiz:
Yes, you are a bad driver.

No comments:

Post a Comment