Blog Love Omega Glee: Yeah, Why Don't Bands Tour As Their Own Tribute Acts? (6 December 2012)

Francine posts on the new blog, Seasonal Help Needs Help, that she and Jake are doing together. Her post is entitled, "Things Overheard At Work":

"A mom and son waited in line. Mom was in her fifties and looked like she might stab you with a knitting needle if you got too close. Son was in his thirties but trailed behind Mom's shopping cart like he was a toddler. Mom watched the Beatles tribute band playing by the checkout lanes and said, 'Those tribute acts are so popular these days. How come bands don't tour as their own tribute acts?' Son said, 'Probably because they'd make more money playing as themselves.' Then they argued about who makes more money, The Beatles or a Beatles tribute band, until the son gave up by saying the point was moot since some of The Beatles are dead.

Two men dressed like they're in a hip-hop video bought many cases of pop. Man #1 glanced at the magazine rack and must have seen something about Iran and said, 'I don't know why we don't nuke them and get it over with.' Man #2 said, "Because then the oil would be radioactive, dumbass,' and slapped Man #1 in the back of the head. I managed to check them out before they nuked anyone with the flatulence drinking all that pop causes.

A coworker complimented me on my nails. She said hers keep breaking because ever since she broke up with her boyfriend she hasn't been getting the extra protein she was used to.

An older man asked me if we carried the type of Coca-Cola that had cocaine in it. He was very disappointed when he learned that it had stopped being manufactured in 1903. He ended up buying a case of Poca-Cola later.

When I asked a middle-aged man if he needed anything else, he said, 'Your phone number.' I wrote down the number of the local police station and he seemed very happy.

A bunch of teenage boys streaked through the store and an old lady asked me when the next time 'Nude Day' was. She seemed disappointed to know that the streaking wasn't a store-sanctioned event.

One of the assistant managers must have done some drinking on his dinner break and came back and treated the store to some off-key versions of Elvis classics on the intercom.

A man wearing a "Stick with Dick" jacket got yelled at by a Polipo supporter who grabbed some tomatoes and started tossing them at the man until the produce manager intervened. She apologized and paid for the tomatoes. The 'Stick with Dick' guy checked out through my lane and, ironically, ended up buying a jar of tomato sauce.

A couple debated whether the world would end later this month and made a sucker's bet. The woman bet it wouldn't and the man bet it would. How can he collect if it does?

And, one that will make Jake happy, while I was waiting on a price check, a little boy told me all about why The Baby was his favorite wrestler.

And, finally, just this strange non-sequitur, from a harried mom on a cell phone, 'Did you remember to shave the cat?'"

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel.