Blog Love Omega Glee: One Can Never Have Too Many Cans Of Beans Apparently (19 December 2012)

A shopper is fighting with her child in Francine's checkout line at Mart Mart and Francine uses the momentary respite to lean across the aisle and ask Eleanor, the matronly cashier in the next lane, why a recent customer bought two shopping carts completely filled with nothing but cans of beans. Eleanor scans some items for an elderly man and when she's finished and the man is hunting for the exact change in his little blue plastic squeezy changepurse, she turns to Francine and whispers like she's in a conspiracy, "He said the world was going to end in a couple of days and he wanted to be prepared. He said he was going to find a deserted island somewhere and the beans would help him survive."

Francine says, "Well, if the island he lands on isn't already deserted when he gets there, then it certainly will be deserted once he arrives and starts eating all those beans."

Eleanor looks strangely at Francine.

Francine says, "What happens when you eat a lot of beans?"

Eleanor gets it and playfully slaps Francine's hand, "Oh, you're so bad," and laughs.

She checks to make sure that the customer is still digging for change, and says to Francine, "What would you bring to a desert island?"

"I don't know."

"One item. I know what I'd bring."

"What's that?"

"The Bible, of course."

"Hmm . . . I don't know what I'd bring."

The customer coughs and interrupts, "I couldn't help overhearing your conversation. I've thought about this topic as well. Do you mind if I join in?"

"Not at all," Eleanor says.

The man asks, "Would I be alone on this desert island?"

"Yes, I guess," Eleanor says.

"Then I think I know what I'd bring as well," the man says.

"What's that?" Eleanor asks him.

"My pornographic magazine collection," the man says and starts to laugh.

Eleanor frowns, takes his money, and thanks him for shopping our Mart Mart.

After the man leaves, when there's another lull in the onslaught of shoppers, Eleanor asks Francine, "Why do I get all the perverts?"

"You don't eat enough beans," Francine tells her.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel.