Blog Love Omega Glee: A Leak I Like (11 December 2012)

Evil Journalista sends Francine an email: "Hark the drunken congressional staffers sing and for once we have something to sing about. My scientist friend said Dick's dead. Something's in his body though and it likes to play with the dog. It doesn't talk. It doesn't write. It just likes playing with that damn dog Dick had. She said that it doesn't act like Dick. She thinks there's some sort of consciousness in there as it acts independently and even seems intelligent, but it's like the intelligence of a dog, which then again might make it smarter than Dick ever was. As you know, Ohio came through for Polipo, but, as you probably don't know, Dick's campaign won't be challenging it. Fir's disappeared to California having some sort of midlife crisis or whatever hyenas of his type have when they realize how hideous they really are. The rest of the campaign are still too busy fighting among themselves and trying to figure out what happened to Dick, who's happily taking the dogs out on walks, er, rolls. In short, the whole nation's walking around like a chicken with its head cut off. It's too bad Kitty O'Couscous didn't get enough of the vote that she could disappear with the members of the Supreme Court one by one into a bedroom and then eventually come back out declared president. Instead we'll be stuck with Polipo, who won't be much different than Dick. He'll just smile more as he bombs people and raises taxes. It's enough to make a man turn to drink, but I turned there long ago, so now I can only leak to you while I write up sanitized portraits of how everything's going to be different now that the national unity government is over and our national emergency has ended. You and I both know the truth. Not a damned thing is going to really change. The system's in charge, and everyone in it just pretends that they have no responsibility and everything is someone else's fault. I'm sure that will be real comforting when the entire civilization slides off a cliff. How we got here I don't exactly know but maybe we should keep Dick as president, at least whatever's in there, an artificial intelligence, the remnants of Dick's innocent soul, seems to have the right idea. Play with the dog. The rest of the stuff doesn't matter. None of the people in Washington seem to realize that though. They're all getting in line to suckup to the new gang in town. Maybe I should have my own blog. Then I wouldn't have to bother you with this stuff. But I gots a mortgage and a wife, which I'll use as an excuse nots to declare myself a coward. Just watch your back Franikins. Those black ops fuckers don't have much of a sense of humor. They're too busy backstabbing one another and snorting cash. Evil Journalista sees it almost every day. So Polipo is Prez. Whoopee! We got what we all wanted and it looks like we're worse off than before because then we could have at least blamed everything on Dick. Now we just have to blame ourselves. In the meantime, Clinton will probably keep everything rolling, and she'll love every minute of it. They'll roll Dick out to wave goodbye on inauguration day and then the scientists will study it play with the dog. This ain't Hollywood, so I expect that won't be a happy ending, but it's as close as we're going to come. So let your readers know. The machine is better than man, and the dog likes it better than his old best friend because the machine never gets tired of throwing a stick during fetch and there's no competition for who gets to eat the chicken. The machine lets the dog have the whole thing instead of giving it scraps. Just keep the machine's battery charged and he's good to go. My scientist pal said it learns quickly too. She said it's been working on developing solar panels. I wonder when it'll make itself a little wife. And maybe a robot dog when Chess dies. The human being is obsolete. Our replacement has arrived. It'll probably be more humane than us anyway. So far, it hasn't slapped any toasters around or been jealous of the refrigerator yet. Dick would have started another war by now just for fun. I'd hope that whole creepy administration gets investigated and punished for all their crimes, but Polipo will probably use his new broom to sweep the evidence under the rug in the Oval Office in hopes that no one will investigate the crimes his administration will commit. I'd like to lift up that rug sometime and give that floor a good scrubbing. And that's what makes me Evil Journalista. In a world where all the good little journalists do what they're told and comfort the comfortable and afflict the afflicted, I still have that old time religion and remember when it used to be the reverse. Now after leaking to you, I have to take a leak. Have a cool Yule, Frannikers!"

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel.