"Hank!" the voice on the telephone says and Jake knows it's Bruce Goose.
"Uh, hi, Bruce."
"You recognized my voice! That's too bad, I was going to play a prank on you and try to sell you some erectile dysfunction pills."
Jake doesn't know what to say to this so he doesn't say anything.
Bruce continues, "I got us another gig. I have a friend that needs a Santa and some elves for a party, but get this it's for a blind school so we don't even have to dress up to do it since no one can see what we're wearing anyway. We just have to talk in character and hand out gifts to the blind kids. I'm Santa, of course. Do you want to be an elf?"
"Huh. Maybe. When is it?"
"Tomorrow night."
"I teach."
"Bummer. Hey, did you read the newspaper today?"
"Uh. no."
"There was some guy who went on a killing spree. He was killing everyone he ever had a beef with. He kept a list and everything. When the cops caught him, he told them, the world was ending soon so he knew he wouldn't be in jail long. He just wanted to settle some scores while he still could. What do you think of that?"
"Uh, he sounds pretty crazy."
"That's what I think! I can't believe people believe in that 2012 world ending shit. You know that all comes from a couple of hippies who got stoned in the 1970s and hallucinated some aliens. They played around with the I Ching and a computer program and came up with a concept called timewave zero which supposedly measures the rate of novelty in the universe and measured out that it all came to a head in 2012. At some point the Mayans got grafted onto it and now everyone thinks it's an ancient prophecy when it's really just some dude named Terence McKenna and his brother getting high on some potent dope. But you know everyone loves a good endtime myth, so that's probably why it caught on. Look at all the nutty Christians grooving on Revelations. I wonder what the next date of destruction will be once this one passes. Hank, don't be too disappointed when the world doesn't end on the 21st."
"I'll try not to be."
"In fact, McKenna says he saw elves when he was tripping. Maybe he just met Santa and didn't realize it. So are you sure you can't be an elf tomorrow?"
Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
0 comments:
Post a Comment