"How on Earth can you watch this stuff, Jake?" Masani asks, putting down her book to watch on the television The Angry Housewife put Martin "The Smart One" Black through an ironing board.
"Uh, it's sort of an acquired taste," Jake says, not taking his eyes off the screen as The Angry Housewife appears angrier than usual and now starts assaulting the referee.
"Well, I hope it's not contagious. I don't want to be like that crowd. I mean look at them. They're going nuts over watching some wrestlers pretend to fight one another! What's wrong with those people?" Masani says, as wrestlers pour into the ring like syrup from a loose bottle on a pancake.
Jake doesn't answer, assuming Masani's question is rhetorical, and focuses on the mayhem on screen as The Housewife breaks free of the large men trying to prevent her from choking the referee some more with the strings from her apron.
"What's wrong with her?" Masani asks, watching as The Housewife hits The Reader with a blender, "She doesn't look like she's acting. She looks like she really wants to kill the referee. I thought this was fake."
"It's wrestling. It's all fake and it's all real," Jake says, as about twenty wrestlers pile on top of the Housewife to calm her down.
"What's that? Some Zen of wrestling shit?" Masani says, as the Housewife's hand stretches out of the pile and begins to rake her nails across the bare chest of The Buff Barrister, who screams from the pain.
"Sort of," Jake says, as The Housewife crawls out of the pile without the wrestlers seeming to notice, "It's all a show, but sometimes the actors stay in character so it becomes real."
"What's she doing now?"
"It looks like she's crawled under the ring."
"Why's she so crazy?"
"She's angry. She cooks a nice meal and her husband works late and doesn't show up to eat it. Or she does all his laundry and he complains that she used too much starch. Or the neighbor has a nicer vacuum cleaner than she does."
"Say what, Sugar?"
"It's her shtick. She's like a 1950s housewife, but instead of taking tranquilizers so she could get through her day, she started taking steroids instead, so now she's a little on edge and takes out her frustrations on her opponents and whoever else gets in her way."
"That's pretty funny."
"Yeah, it's good stuff. She's one of my favorites."
"What's she doing now?"
"It looks like she found a ladder under the ring so she's wearing it on her head and shoulders and spinning around using it to hit the other wrestlers. She calls it The Spin Cycle."
"How do they fake getting hit with a ladder?"
"They don't. They just get hit. Say, weren't you the one who was reading and complained when I turned on the television?"
Masani picks up her book, but Jake notices she doesn't turn any more pages since her eyes continue to face the television.
Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel.
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