Exhausted, but also seemingly unable to sleep, Donald lies in his bunk during the middle of the night and wonders again if he made the right decision in joining the army. He had hoped that having drill sergeants yell at him all day and make him do push-ups would batter any remnants of an existential crisis into pieces, but so far questions about the point of living continue to bubble within him. The only difference now is that they bubble within him when he's standing at attention, when he's being yelled at for eyeballing, and when he's crawling through mud. Even shooting guns, which is quite exciting otherwise, just spurs thoughts of why he's shooting the gun. There's a pointless war on drugs, an endless war on terror, maybe there should be a war on stupid wars, since they never seem to solve the nation's problems and only seem to waste lots of money. Masani would probably say yes, he thinks, then he thinks of Masani. Is he going to lose her by being in the army? he wonders. After all, he doesn't know where he'll end up being stationed. He could even end up being sent off to one of the many wars Dick has going around the world, though Donald hopes that Dick won't be president when he gets out of basic training and maybe the wars will wind down as a result. Would she follow him where he goes?
He doesn't see that happening.
He'd like to see that happening, but he doesn't. Would they even be lovers if they hadn't lived in the same house, both retreating from the world in a sort of modernday hermitage in order to lick their wounds, her from her divorce and his from the death of his grandmother?
Probably not, he figures, then realizes it's depressing to analyze the reasons people fall into love, or, at least, bed. In addition to loneliness, lostness, and lust, there are lots of other reasons that don't begin with the letter "l". He might not lose her, or he might have lost her anyway, even if he had remained at the house. At least here, he isn't tempted to stay up half the night pretending to be a super-hero, and watching himself slowly go crazy.
He's too exhausted to even sleep at night, and the army seems to have some sort of fetish for getting up obscenely early in the morning.
Now that's crazy.
The other recruits think he's crazy for joining the army at his age. Even though he's only thirty-four, the other recruits call him "Grandfather". None of them have very good manners, but at least the drill sergeants enforce a bare minimum of politeness in the platoon. As polite as people calling other people "maggots" can be anyway.
Well, it supposedly gets better after the initial training, so that and Christmas break give Donald faith that he can make it if he just sticks to making it through one day at a time, one foot in front of the other during a jog, one hospital corner of the bed at a time, one cleaned rifle part at a time, and so on. One day he'll look up and it will all be over. He may even miss it one day.
Nah.
He does miss Masani though, and wonders how quietly he can masturbate.
Living in a room with a bunch of other dudes does put a damper on one's sex life. But a wank might help him fall asleep so he chances it. The bunk creaks rhythmically until Rodriguez in the bunk below, yells, "Grandpa! What are you doing up there?"
Donald pretends to be asleep and then doesn't have to pretend.
He dreams about beating off his rifle, and, when reveille sounds, wakes up fully cocked and loaded.
Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel.
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