Blog Love Omega Glee: Love Is Like A Wrestling Match (1 October 2012)

The WWWWWW is in town and Francine sits with Jake, North, and Octavia in the arena watching an intergender wrestling match featuring Kristin Concrete, a burly female bruiser with a cherubic face, beat on the chauvinistic male wrestler Donato DiPietro, and she thinks how love is like a wrestling match.

As Concrete sucker punches DiPietro in the gut, Francine thinks about how many times the course of love has taken her by surprise, from crushing on people she wouldn't imagine initially having an interest in . . . um, like Jake . . . to having her whole carefully planned out future with John wiped away in a soulcrushing few weeks by catching on to his lies and affair.

DiPietro falls to the mat holding his tummy and Concrete turns her back on him for a millisecond to rally the crowd behind her. When she turns back around, DiPietro trips the referee into her, and then, while the ref's distracted, he jumps up and shoves his left arm hard up between her legs, in a move that would have incapacitated most male wrestlers but seems to have little effect on Concrete since she's a woman, merely giving her a mild case of cameltoe which she resolves by tugging on her trunks in the middle of her derriere and then elbowing the still kneeling DiPietro in his head, something Francine would have liked to have done to a few boyfriends over the years. Sex always complicates things. If it weren't for that itch in the lower region of the human body, love would likely run more smoothly. But there probably would be less human beings. In fact, if it weren't for that little itch, would Francine even bother with love, or even men? When she thinks back to the troubles she's had, most of them center around romance. She would have cut it out of her life long ago if she could. The highs of love are high but the lows can be so low. She wonders if it's just a chemical conspiracy to keep us reproducing. If so, no wonder the damn thing called love makes so many of us lose our heads.

And DiPietro just nearly lost his head as he woozily got to his feet only to be greeted with the hefty treebranchlike arm of Concrete, who gave him a massive clothesline, the impact of which snaps Francine back to the action in the ring. Concrete climbs to the top rope and goes for a splash moonsault on top of the prone DiPietro but he moves at the last moment and she lands bellyfirst hard on the canvas. That's just like love. Painful. When you're in love and not near your lover, the ache is physical, then when he's back he drives you crazy, like when Jake won't shut up about wrestling, and you want him to go away again, only to miss him again the instant he's gone.

DiPietro puts "The Evil Eye" on Concrete by grabbing the corners of her mouth from behind with fingers from both hands while simultaneously pushing on the back of her head with his right boot. It's an illegal move and the referee finally gets him to break it but not before he makes Concrete suffer for a few seconds. But just like a lover, he can't keep his hands off her and puts her right back into the maneuver, and Francine is reminded that the strong emotions of love can quickly turn to hate when one lover feels rejected. Why can't people just remember the good times fondly and move on? But it seems as if one lover is always trying to possess or control the other.

In fact, love seems to often be about power, Francine notes, as Concrete powers out of "The Evil Eye" by picking up DiPietro on her back and flipping him over onto the mat, where she puts him in a headlock and squeezes so hard that it looks as if his eyes are going to pop out of their sockets.

Jake leans over and whispers in Francine's ear that the two wrestlers are dating in real life and concocted this storyline so they could spend more time together.

Francine tries not to imagine what their sex life is like but it doesn't work.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel.