Blog Love Omega Glee: I Love The People Who Made My DVD Player (2 October 2012)

Jake is so happy when he returns from Francine's this morning that he thanks God for her. He pats his car in the driveway and thanks the people in the factory who made it. He thanks whoever paved the driveway. He digs his housekey out of his jeans pocket and thanks the people in the sweatshop who stitched up the denim to make his jeans. He thanks the engineer and factory workers who put together the machine that the people who stitched up the denim to make his jeans used to stitch up the denim to make his jeans. He thanks the dude at the hardware store who made a copy of the housekey years ago for him and his dad. He thanks whoever designed the key and lock and whatever factory workers machined them into existence. He thanks the carpenter who made the door and all the people who built his parents' house. He thanks the people who dug the ditches that the gas and water companies stuck their pipes in, and, even though his dad always complains about the price of utilities, Jake thanks the people who power the utilities so he can get a glass of water in the middle of his house and not to have to go outside to an outhouse to take a shit. He thanks whoever made the pipe that takes the shit away, and whoever hung all those cables for the electricity, telephone, and cable, and whoever invented that stuff, and whoever dug up the raw materials that went into that stuff, not to mention the people who made the materials less raw so they could be connected to the house. Turning the lock, he thanks God for his parents who let him live here. He is greeted by Monique who meows loudly and he thanks her feline parents for fucking and creating her, and the folks at the animal shelter who took care of her. She's soon followed by Rudy, who sees him and runs to the doormat to scratch it to get out the excitement in her kitty spine, and he thanks them all for her too. Then he thanks the people who made the doormat and whoever came up with the idea for a doormat. He wipes his shoes off on the mat and closes the door, and thinks how much he loves the people who made his shoes, and especially whoever came up with the idea for shoelaces. What a great idea! Shoelaces! He sits down in an easychair, thanking whatever store sold his parents the chair that he currently sits in to take off his shoes and then sees his socks and thanks the people who sewed up his socks and the store that sold them to him. What a wonderful world! Socks! Have you ever looked at socks and appreciated how wonderful socks are? Well, Jake has and he's grateful for them keeping his feet toasty as he gets up and pads along the wooden floor. He thanks the tree that so nobly gave of itself so he could walk upon it and whoever nailed it together and whoever thought that wood would be better to stand on than dirt. He thanks the dirt that grows his food and all the family farmers and multinational agribusinesses that feed him on a daily basis. He takes off his jacket and stares in wonder at it. He thanks the jacket for being the jacket, then the coat closet door for being the coat closet door, then the doorknob for being the doorknob, then the hanger for being the hanger, and then he finally hangs the jacket up on the hanger and turns the doorknob to close the coat closet door.

He sighs and thinks what a wonderful world it is to be in love with, and he's pretty sure he's in love with a woman who he is pretty sure is in love with him. After all, she went to a professional wrestling match with him and nothing says love like going along with someone who likes to watch people hit each other with metal chairs especially when you yourself don't really like watching people hit themselves with metal chairs only because you love the other person and know that this is the strange sort of thing that he enjoys so you tolerate it and go along.

Jake thanks whoever invented metal folding chairs, and whoever first decided to use them in wrestling matches. And he can't forget to thank the doctors and medical researchers who help to take care of the concussions and other head injuries that inevitably result in the wrestlers who hit one another with metal folding chairs.

Jake looks up and sees the DVD player by the television on which he watches people hit one another with metal folding chairs and thinks that someday he'd like to hug the people who made it.

Since they're not there, he hugs the DVD player.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel.