Blog Love Omega Glee: The Healthy Hospital Loses Some Dead Weight (20 October 2012)

Jake has been pressed into service by his father, which basically means he works while his father watches and complains about how he's doing the work. Right now, he complains about how Jake rakes leaves in the backyard. "Ach, stand in the middle of a bunch of leaves and rake them towards you," Dad says, taking the rake away from Jake, "Like this."

Eventually, Dad stands in the middle of a pile of leaves. He steps out, kicking up some leaves, which he rakes back into place when he's out of the circle. He hands Jake back the rake and says, "I thought we'd have more this week. This won't take us long."

"Me."

"What?"

"Me long. I'm the one who's raking," Jake says, starting to rake a bunch of leaves towards him.

"Well, we only have one rake," Dad says, "I'll get a bag and then we'll dump them on the compost pile and cut them up."

While Dad toddles off, Jake thinks about the crazy story Francine told him about a missing day. He would have laughed at her, but she gets upset when he doesn't take her ideas seriously, so he just nodded and wondered if he was dating a crazy woman.

"Hmm . . . maybe someone does have to be crazy to date me," he thinks, and then quickly rakes that thought into the leaf pile of his mind.

He wishes Francine would warm to the idea of him moving in with her, Donald, and Masani, so he could escape Dad's chain gang work detail being sprung upon him when he'd much rather spend the day relaxing. He supposes that he could move in without Francine's approval, but it would be pretty odd to live with someone who wasn't sure she wanted him around. Jake rakes that thought away too and gets into the Zen of raking and soon has a giant pile of leaves before Dad arrives back to complain that he should have made several smaller piles, which would have taken him less time.

"Well, you weren't back with the bags, so it doesn't matter. What took you so long?"

"Ach, I got caught up watching a special bulletin on the news. Those fat terrorists kidnapped the CEO of The Healthy Hospital."

"F.A.T.A.S.S.?" Jake asks, thinking of former pro wrestler Maximilian Mounds.

"Yes, they were protesting the fact that he wouldn't hire anyone with a body mass index higher than 25 and he had started firing current employees he considered overweight. They lopped off part of his pinky finger and mailed it to the police and said more of his body parts would follow unless the fired employees were brought back and the hiring policy was dropped. They also said that they should put soft drinks back in the vending machines at The Healthy Hospital and add a Fish Taco King to the food court there. They also said that the anti-trans fat policy was sizist."

"They chopped off his finger?" Jake says, thinking that suddenly F.A.T.A.S.S. isn't so amusing.

"Yes, they said he could stand to lose a little weight himself, and said they wanted to help him out the way he helped all his employees."

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel.