Blog Love Omega Glee: A Coffeehouse Conversation About Chinese Restaurant Sleeper Cells (4 October 2012)

After he finishes teaching, Jake drops into Caffeine Eden. Francine picked up an extra shift at Yaws, so he has nothing better to do unless he wants to go home and watch Dad yell at the hockey players on tv and Mom be transfixed by whatever she's working on at the computer in the study. Adam greets him with a subdued smile, and Jake notices that the cafe is less boisterous than usual and on the wall a picture of Tom hangs with a wreath around it.

"Ah, no, man," Jake says.

"Yep!" Adam says, passing Jake a cup of today's special, A Cup Of Tom, "Heart attack."

Jake digs out his wallet to pay, and Adam stops him, "It's on the house. Actually, it's on Tom. Apparently, he wanted a wake here since we were one of his favorite places. Actually, Larry's handling it, but Tom's estate will pay him back. He's the executor anyway."

Jake nods, thanks Adam, takes the cup, and walks over to Larry, who sits alone at the corner table under Tom's picture. "Hi," Jake says, "That's very sad about Tom."

They shake hands and Larry says, "Thanks, Joe. Tom always liked you, kid. Grab a seat."

"Uh, OK," Jake says and sits down.

Larry stares at him.

"Uh, so I see the photo is recent. Tom has his mustache in it," Jake says.

"Yeah, it was one of his last photos. I actually took that photograph," Larry says, staring at Tom's photo, "It was for his online dating profile."

"Uh, well, he looks good in it. You did a nice job."

"Too nice. I pretty much killed him."

"Huh?"

"He died banging this broad he met on there."

"Oh."

"Yeah, I mean I guess that's a good way to go, but I just keep thinking that if he hadn't gone out on that date, he might still be alive and it might be him sitting across from me instead of you," Larry says, taking a sip of coffee, "No offense, John."

"Uh, none taken."

"They went to a Chinese restaurant. That damn General Tso's chicken always did fire him up. Oh, well, maybe it's better this way. Otherwise, he might have died fighting the Chinese when they attack."

"The Chinese are going to attack?"

"Isn't it obvious, man? They've been setting it up for years. I think Mao devised it. You know all those little Chinese restaurants across the country? They're in every strip mall in every small town in America. They're just waiting for the signal from Beijing and they're going to rise up."

"Uh, are you sure?"

"Positive, my friend. Tom would tell you that the Mexicans are working the same scheme. You know that all those Mexican restaurants across the country serve as cover for a Mexican plan--El Reconquista!--to rise up and take back the land stolen during the Mexican-American War."

"Wait, that doesn't make sense! They have those kind of restaurants here in Ohio too."

"They want interest."

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel.