A bit sad that Ringo had to go back on the road and won't be able to watch Grapple Groove again with him this week, Jake tunes in to see Martin "The Smart One" Black introduce his latest tag team The Department Of Transportation. Wearing yellow hard hats and carrying an orange construction barrel with them to the ring, Black's latest charges square off against the tag team of The Buff Barrister and his butler Mr. Wodehouse. The announcer Felix Fatality tells his broadcast partner Steve Dore, "I asked Black about these guys earlier today and he said that he's so confident in these two that the road to the championship is already under construction."
Dore groans, "Does that guy ever run out of corn? Well, let's see how they do against Barrister and Wodehouse, who since forming as a tag team have been very impressive."
"That's right, Steve, after all potholes can't put you in a headlock, Barrister and Wodehouse can."
"What's the story on these guys anyway?"
"Well, they're a pair of former road construction workers I guess who figure working in the ring is easier than working in the hot sun grinding out asphalt."
"There's the bell, and the match begins. It's . . . let's see . . . which one is this? . . . I think this is 'Dump Truck'."
"Dump Truck? The guy's name is Dump Truck?"
"Yep! And his partner's Paver. He's the one talking with Black outside the ring. It looks like he's eating his lunch too for some reason."
"It looks like they're watching Dump Truck, who's doing pretty well. He just picked up Mr. Wodehouse and dumped him down in a powerful scoop slam."
"Wodehouse has tagged out and it looks like Dump--can I call him that?--is having a bit more trouble with The Buff Barrister. The Barrister is squeezing Dump's head with The Statute Of Limitations.'
"The Barrister loves to drag things out and make his opponents suffer before they submit. It looks like he could get the win now. What's Dump's partner doing? His partner's in trouble and he isn't even on the ring apron. He's just standing there talking with Black and watching Dump work."
"Just like the real Department of Transportation, huh? Anytime I drive by road construction, there's one guy working and ten other guys standing around watching him."
"Well, quick tags now between Barrister and Wodehouse who seem to be taking delight in being able to dump out punishment on top of Dump. The ref should really call this match."
"Can you really call it a tag team when only one guy wrestles?"
"Well, it looks like Black's finally succeeded in getting Paver into the ring to help his partner. He looks like he's finished his lunch and tossed the bag aside. Now, he's looking for something in that orange barrel they brought down to ringside. It looks like he's found it. He's pulled something out. What is it?"
"It looks like another lunch. He's eating his partner's lunch, I think! He probably figures that Dump Truck would be in no mood to eat after the beating he's getting."
"Black is yelling at him to get in the ring before The Barrister and Wodehouse put away his partner, but Paver's pointing at his wristwatch and telling Black something. What's he saying?"
"I think he's saying that he's still on his lunch break."
"Well, he better hurry up because his opponents look like they're about to break his partner."
"OK, Paver's finally climbing onto the ring. He's got ahold of the tag rope. All he needs now is a tag from his partner. But can Dump get away from Mr. Wodehouse and reach his partner?"
"No. He just got pinned."
"It looks like Black's new tag team might be named The Department Of Transportation, but they're going nowhere."
"Indeed, Black needs to hang up an 'Under Construction' sign and take them back to the gym."
"Poor Dump Truck never got to unload much offense."
"And that Paver needs to get his understanding of tag team wrestling smoothed out."
"They fine you double when you speed through a construction zone; they should fine these guys double for making the fans sit through such an awful match."
"You know those guys who hold up the stop sign when a road is reduced to one lane and the traffic takes turns going through?"
"Yep!"
"Well, they should have had one of those guys at ringside to let Paver know when to tag his partner."
Mercifully, the bad puns end when a commercial come on.
Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel.
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