"How come we didn't just take the turnpike?" Jake asks from the backseat of North's car, as they drive through Streetsboro on Route 14 on their way to a wrestling show in Youngstown.
"Because we'd have to pay a toll and I'm cheap," North says, steering their way past abandoned stripmalls.
"This lad will go far in indie wrestling. He's already learned the first lesson: 'If you can get it for free, then don't pay a fee'." Ringo says, looking up from his phone, "Say this show is near Warren, do you want to stop in at one of the Asian massage parlors there after the show?"
"Doesn't that go against your philosophy?" Jake says.
"Heh," Ringo says, "Not really though. The second lesson is 'Some things are worth paying for'."
"I don't know, man. Oc would be mad if I did that," North says.
"Oc? I thought you broke up with her. Isn't that why she didn't come with us?" Ringo asks.
"Well that and she had a mean hangover that made her pretty mean. But we break up twice a week so I don't know that I regard this latest breakup as substantial. It's more like breaking up is just part of our relationship."
"Please tell me you don't do that just for the makeup sex," Jake says, slapping his forehead with his hand.
"OK, I won't," North says.
"Well, what about you Jake? You and Francine are just friends now, right? She wouldn't mind," Ringo says, looking back.
"Er, Uh, Um," Jake says.
"Never mind. Let's just go to Waffle Whiz afterwards," Ringo says, sighing.
"Oh, we went there last time. How about Fish Taco King instead?" North says.
"No, the king can take his fish taco and shove it up his sovereign ass," Ringo says, "I refuse to go to any place named after royalty."
"Why's that?" Jake says.
"Because kings suck. Queens suck. Princes suck. Princesses suck. Dukes suck. Duchesses suck. Barons suck. Baronesses suck. Lords suck. Ladies suck. Earls suck. Whatever the fuck a female earl is called sucks too. Counts suck. Countesses suck. You get the idea. They're just the lazy descendants of some thugs who pushed the poor people around. The only thing lazier than them are people in their countries who haven't broken out the guillotine yet. I can't believe there's still royalty in the 21st century. And I can't believe people, especially in this country that got rid of their king, think kings are good enough to name restaurants and stuff after. People are stupid."
North points to a billboard, "What about that though? It says 'Asian Queen Spa' and ask for the 'Royal Special'."
"That would fall under the third lesson: 'There are always exceptions to rules'." Ringo says.
"As long as they bring about a 'happy ending', eh?" Jake says, "Well, you guys are the ones working tonight so you make the pick but I vote for Waffle Whiz."
"Speaking of whizzes, I hope we get there soon," North says, "I have to use the restroom."
"Just pull over, we won't be late," Ringo says.
"Thanks, you're a real prince," North says, steering the car onto the berm.
Ringo glares at him.
"Oops!" North says, "I meant to say 'pal'. Sorry!"
Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel.
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