Love Is Done!

Love, Part 2 of Blog Love Omega Glee, is now complete! We're at the halfway mark of the silly novel that is starting to rival the length of War & Peace; alas, B.L.O.G. isn't as good as Tolstoy's classic and has less Russians in it to boot! However, Part 3, Omega, starts tomorrow! Thanks to all the readers who have been with me since the beginning and welcome to any newcomers (you can catch up easily)! Stay tuned for more madcap adventures of Francine, Jake, and the gang as time runs out on the calendar of 2012! In the meantime, why don't you buy a copy of The Pornographic Flabbergasted Emus if you haven't already? And, if you have already, why not buy another one and donate it a local library or give it to a friend? I suggest this because I'm afraid there's not much money in giving away novels for free on the Internet so I have to feed Jake's cats and keep the coffees coming for Francine somehow, and that's how I do it!
Toodles until tomorrow!

Blog Love Omega Glee: Print On Demand Lover (30 June 2012)

As Eve leaves Purgatory in a huff, Lilith throws a mug of coffee against the door. The mug shatters and the coffee leaves a stain shaped like a mushroom across the door and nearby wall. An elderly black couple, in the neighborhood for the antique fair, get startled and decide not to have a cappuccino after all. As they leave, coffee drips down the door, and the rest of Purgatory goes silent except for the piano of Vienna Teng playing on the cafe's stereo. Lilith grabs a rag, says to all the patrons "Sorry. That was a slippery mug. Ha, ha. Nothing to be alarmed about", and goes to wipe up the mess. First though, she opens the door and offers a cup on the house ("not on the wall, honest") to the couple going down the stairs, who return ("watch the glass, sorry, I'll clean it up in a moment").

After Lilith has restored order, Francine leaves Jake at the table and comes to the counter. "You OK?" she says.

"Oh, Francine, yes, I'm fine," she sighs, then leans over the counter and whispers, "No, I'm not OK. Do you have a cigarette?"

Francine nods, "Great! Let's have a smoke on the patio," Lilith says, grabbing Francine by the arm and dragging her out back.

"Wait! My cigarettes are in my purse on the table," Francine says, as they exit the back door.

"Oh, never mind, I don't smoke anyway. Let's just stay here and talk quietly. I can keep my eye on the counter from here," Lilith says stopping on the back stairs.

"Why'd you want a cigarette anyway?"

"It seems like a better vice than love. At least smoking kills you slowly instead of fucking stabbing you in the heart at a moment's notice."

"Trouble in paradise?"

"Only if your idea of paradise is a bookstore. Eve's latest crazy scheme to save her bookstore is to sell her house and use the money to buy one of those print on demand book machines. She thinks that way the bookstore can stay open because people will come in to get an instant copy of any book they want. I told her that's crazy. Print is dead. Everybody's reading on their cell phones or whatever now."

"I thought she was moving the bookstore in here."

"She was, and I was supposed to go live with her, but she's freaking out about how she's not sure if it's the right move, and how she doesn't know if I'm the right person for her. 'Out of seven billion people, can I really just choose one to spend the rest of my life with?'"

Francine's had the same thought about Jake and past lovers, but wisely keeps her piehole shut, and just nods.

"I tell you what. I wish they had one of those print on demand machines for human beings. I'd order up a lover who wasn't fucking crazy."

"All lovers are fucking crazy, Lilith. To be in love is to be crazy. Eve'll settle down, I'm sure. She's probably just having trouble dealing with change."

"Thanks, Francine. You're a good egg, you know that? Jake's very lucky."

"So's Eve."

"Well, if she actually tries to sells that house, she'll be lucky if I don't kill her."

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: And His Opponent, From Mount Olympus . . . (29 June 2012)

"Hermes? Really?" Jake says, interviewing Ringo at North's house for Jake's blog.

"Yeah? Why not?" Ringo, a.k.a. The Pamphleteer, asks, taking a sip of Mrs. West's famous lemonade, "He's said to have invented wrestling. He's the patron god of travelers and I'm on the road a lot."

"But . . ."

"But 'he's not real'. Don't laugh. At least I know my god is made up. A lot of people don't. They're the ones to watch out for."

"If you know he's made up, how can you . . ."

"Believe in him? Why not? It's a comfort to think that some imaginary force is on my side, that somebody's looking out for me. That's what's wrong with the world. No one believes in anything anymore. That's even been a problem with wrestling. Wasn't it better when people thought it was real and the wrestlers really hated each other? Wouldn't it be cooler to think that Wada Wolf was really a werewolf and not just a Japanese guy with a hairy back?"

"I don't know. I like it as it is. It seemed like it used to be pretty ridiculous when they still insisted it was real."

"Yeah, but it made you wonder, didn't it? 'Maybe it is real'. It was nice to have that curtain of doubt, even as thin as it got."

"Speaking of which, Francine's convinced that you're the writer of those pamphlets, but she said that you won't admit to it."

"I won't admit to it because I'm not behind it. I do like them though; that's why I distribute them around. Which reminds me, North, we need to stop at a copystore before we go. I need to make more copies of the pamphlets."

North, flexing his muscles and posing for the mirror in the living room, nods, and then goes back to admiring himself in the mirror.

"So why does the writer of the pamphlets always drop in a wrestling term or two?" Jake asks.

"I don't know. You'll have to ask him," Ringo says and winks.

"Ah, you winked! You are him!"

"No, I didn't. You must have been hallucinating. North, did you see any wink?"

"Huh? I was staring in the mirror; I didn't see anything," North says, turning towards Jake and Ringo, "Working out with you these past couple of days has buffed me up. I look good."

"See, no wink," Ringo says, winking.

"I have to get a video camera for future interviews," Jake says.

"You'd still never catch me winking. Like Hermes, I am fast," Ringo says.

"Wasn't Hermes the god of liars too?" Jake asks.

"Well, he's the god of storytellers. A fiction may be imaginary, but that doesn't mean it's not true."

North interrupts, "Unless Hermes is running us over to Detroit, we better get going."

"Well, thanks for the interview," Jake says, "Sorry I can't go with you to the show, but break a leg or whatever."

"It's wrestling. Whose leg do you want me to break?" Ringo says, winking.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: Transhumanism Euphemism (28 June 2012)

In the evening, Louis Carson Fir shivers as he enters the dark Oval Office. Dick turns the air conditioning on so high it is like walking into a refrigerator, but the room still stinks of decay. The man, or what used to be a man and now is a human head and vending machine body, looks out the window, his back to Fir. "Fir?" Dick says.

"Yes, sir."

"Do you have the new pain pills from the FDA?"

"Yes sir. There's one called Numborsomethingorother and the other one's . . ."

"I don't care, Fir. Just crush up one and bring it here."

Fir sets the pills on the desk and crushes one up on a tray. Dick wheels around to face him. Fir holds the tray up to Dick's nose, who snorts the powder from the crushed up pill. Fir tries hard not to gag from his proximity to the rotting meat of Dick's head. "Ah!" Dick says, "That should take care of the headache."

Fir sets the tray down on the desk. "We had a good day yesterday, didn't we, Fir?"

"Yes sir, we finally have Poorpeople on board. Your numbers went up a tick too."

"Bah! You and I both know I'm not going to win this election unless we do something drastic. My highest popularity levels were after the assassination attempt, and even then the assassin was still more popular than I was. No, the only way I'll get more votes than anyone else is if we kill off everyone who won't vote for me."

"That sounds a bit drastic, sir. It also doesn't sound very democratic."

"Bah! When did you ever get sentimental about democracy? You know it's just a show, just a game for the masses, same as I do. It's outdated, like human beings are outdated. The future belongs to people . . . posthumans--ah, tell the euphemism to go fuck itself. I'm beyond humanity now--things like me."

"How's the new body coming along, sir?"

"It's almost ready, but they keep hitting one unexpected delay after another. In any case, I'm not waiting on it anymore. The superflu is ready. Let's do it."

"I know I can get your numbers up. I just need more time."

"Don't worry, Fir. I'll give you the antidote beforehand. I'm giving that to everyone who matters. The rest of them will have to hope they have good genes."

"But don't you want to win?"

"I am going to win. That's why I'm doing this."

"No, I mean without . . ."

"Go ahead and say it, Fir."

Fir taps his fingers on the desk and doesn't say anything.

"'Cheating', that's what you were going to say, wasn't it, Fir? Don't worry, I'm not offended; I'm just again surprised at your attitude. You should know that it doesn't matter how we win as long as we do win. You're certainly no stranger yourself to unusual electoral strategies. That's why I hired you on."

"Yes, but changing a few figures on some computers in the middle of the night and the other things, that's different than this. You're planning genocide basically. Plus we don't know if the antidote will work for sure. That thing could mutate once it's released. That's what viruses do. What if that happens before your new body is ready? Even you could be affected."

"Hmm . . . all right, Fir, you've convinced me. I'll hold off for now. I'll hold off completely if you can get those numbers up. I suppose I was just feeling a bit gloomy looking into the darkness while everyone else had left for the night to go home and do human things like eat and spend time with their families and fuck. Sometimes I do miss those days, but I'm looking forward to putting that completely behind me when I transcend humanity completely. I need to remember that I am only a transitory human. Be sure to remind me more often, Fir."

"Yes, sir."

"Fir?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Heh, heh, heh, crush me up another pain pill. I'm starting to feel good."

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: The President's Produce Stand (27 June 2012)

At the entrance to the old Screamin' Jay Hawkins Theater in downtown Cleaveland, one of the security guards pats Jake down. "Any tomatoes?" she says.

"Tomatoes?" Jake says, holding his arms up in the air.

"No? How about eggs or pies?"

"Uh, no," Jake says, eyeing a table nearby piled high with produce and other food.

"OK, you can go in," she says and waves him past.

In the lobby, Jake catches up to Francine. "I made it!" she says, "I thought for sure I'd get the boot from the facial recognition software, but Dick must be desperate for people to attend his rallies."

"What's up with the produce stand back there?" Jake says, using his right thumb to point backwards at the entrance.

"Ha! I think half the people here brought something to throw at Dick, and security confiscated it. Either that or they've turned the theater into a very large refrigerator. It is really cold in here," Francine says, shivering in her short sleeve t-shirt.

"Brrr. You're right. The air conditioning must be turned on full blast," Jake says, putting his hands on his arms and rubbing them.

"Where's Ringo? Did he make it past security?"

"I haven't seen him," Jake says, "Man, I still can't believe I'm hanging out with The Pamphleteer."

"I still can't believe I know someone actually named 'Ringo'. His parents must have been big Beatles fans."

People file past Francine and Jake into the theater. Many carry "Stick with Dick" signs. "Well, let's wait here for him," Jake says, leaning up against a lobby wall and putting his left arm around Francine to keep her warm.

"He was handing out those pamphlets earlier. He might not have gotten in because of that," Francine says, looking worried.

"Well, if he doesn't get in, then we can catch up with him later. He seems to go with the wind anyway. I can't believe he's just staying with North for a couple of days until his next show. What a free spirit!"

"Or what a cheapskate! He doesn't have a car and begs rides from show to show, staying with fans. But, from talking with him on the ride back from the show, he seems like a good guy. A little too far to the left, but he definitely knows what's going on. He wouldn't admit to being behind the pamphlets, but he had quite a few on him, including a couple that I've never seen before, so I think he writes them," Francine says, scanning the crowd, "In any case, he told North he could get him booked onto the show Friday as well, as long as he drives him there."

"And, once again, I'll miss it because I have to work. I hope this thing's done before I have to leave for work," Jake sighs, "So, what do you think the big announcement will be at this rally? Is Dick going to announce his vice-president?"

"No, it's too early for that, but I think Poorpeople will be here to endorse Dick. Thanks for coming by the way. I know you don't find politics too interesting."

"Well, I can't stand Dick, but I couldn't pass up meeting The Pamphleteer."

"There he is!" Francine says, pointing and waving.

Ringo, a white man in his twenties with long brown hair and who dresses basically the same as he does in the ring, wearing all black and carrying a messenger bag, approaches Francine and Jake. "Hey, guys!" he says, "Sorry to take so long, but they kept searching me. I fooled them though. I tucked the eggs in my underwear."

He sticks his left hand down the front of his pants and quickly pulls it back out dripping with yolk, "Ah, fuck! They broke!"

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: Miss Mess's Version Of Teatime (26 June 2012)

Riding in the backseat of North's car, a 2000 Yubarelygo, on the highway in the afternoon going to North's wrestling show, Miss Mess, known offstage as Octavia, or "Oc" for short, passes Francine a flask.

"No thanks," Francine says, passing it back.

Oc looks back, shrugs, and takes a swig.

Driving, North says, "Isn't it a little early?"

"It's daylight, ain't it?" Oc says.

Looking in the rearview mirror briefly, North says, "Well, it was nice of you to come along, Francine."

"No problem. I was sorry I had to miss your first match, but I had to work," Francine says, not mentioning that she's only here because Jake told her that The Pamphleteer is also on the card and she wants to find out if he's behind the pamphlet series she's been investigating.

"Yeah, it's too bad Jake has to work tonight. I know he'd enjoy a lot of these matches. It's a good card," North says.

Oc puts the flask to North's lips.

"No, that's all right, thanks, honey," North says, pushing the flask away.

"It's teatime. Take a drink, bitch," Oc says, sticking the flask in front of his face.

"I can't see!" North says.

"Then drink!"

North opens his mouth and takes a sip, but they hit a pothole and some spills out onto North's shirt.

"Dammit!" Oc says, rubbing the wet spot on North's shirt.

"Sorry!" North looks at her, and the car starts to drift out of its lane.

Francine says, "Uh, North . . ."

A horn sounds from a car passing in the next lane and North swerves back into his lane. "Oops! Don't worry, Francine, I'm a good driver . . ." North pauses, then glares at Oc, ". . . when I'm not being distracted."

"Whatever!" Oc says, and takes another slug from the flask, "You should have let me drive. We'd have been there by now."

Francine decides to walk home if Oc insists on driving after the show.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: Hamlet In A Steel Cage Match (25 June 2012)

North rings up Jake, "Dude, I have an out of state booking!"

"That's great, dude. Congratulations! Where is it?"

"Butler, Pennsylvania."

"When is it?"

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"It's kind of a last minute thing. Anyway, I'm not just calling to brag that I'll be driving a couple hundred miles to wrestle in front of fifty people to make twenty bucks; I need some help."

"Sure."

"If it goes well, it could be an ongoing thing, so I want to pitch a storyline to the promoter. You remember in high school English where Mrs. Wormwood said that Shakespeare used the plots of older works in his plays?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I want to do the same thing."

"You want to use the plots from Shakespeare's sources?"

"No, no. I want to use the plots of Shakespeare plays in my wrestling storyline. I figure why not steal from the best. So that's why I'm calling you. Which one should I use first? What would be a good angle to start with?"

"You want to use a Shakespeare plot for your wrestling angle?"

"Yes. Now which one?"

"Uh, I don't know. Hamlet?"

"Hamlet's good, but I want to work up to that one. I'm thinking of a last man standing match at a pay per view for that one. I need something less complex to start off with."

"What about one of the comedies then?"

"OK, which one?"

"Uh, The Taming Of The Shrew? Maybe you could use Miss Mess for the Kate part."

"OK, that's good. Where does my opponent fit in?"

"Your opponent?"

"Yeah, my opponent. I think he's some guy called The Mississippi Maniac, which doesn't make any sense since he's from Pittsburgh."

"Uh, maybe make him the Kate part?"

"OK, he's the shrew and I have to tame him so I can marry him. I can dig it. Isn't that a little gay though? My character's not gay. Plus I've never been to Butler before and I don't exactly know what the audience is into and not into."

"Uh, maybe you just have to pin him, not marry him."

"Oh, that'll work."

"There's also a huge part of the plot about these other guys trying to marry Kate's sister. How are you going to work that in?"

"Hmm . . . I think I'll just cut it."

"Cut it?"

"Yeah, I think me taming The Maniac is a good angle to pitch. What about the history plays?"

"What about them?"

"I'm thinking that Henry The Sixth would be a good basis for a six-man tag match."

"Why's that?"

"Isn't it obvious? It's got 'six' in the title!"

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: We Are All Tenants In The World (24 June 2012)

Jake is taking so long to come that Francine wonders if she should charge him rent for the use of her vagina. Bored and sore, her mind wanders away from the sexual action to a philosophical reaction. If Jake is a tenant in part of her body, then isn't she also a tenant of the whole body in a way? What's the difference between a corpse and living person? Is the mind or soul an accidental byproduct of physical processes, or is Francine, whoever or whatever she is, also just passing through her body? And isn't she, and Jake, and everyone really, just passing through the world? Other people passed through before and bore them, just as someday she too would pass on, and then future people would pass on through the world (With the world's population of humans increasing literally every second, Francine doesn't plan on bearing any herself, though, present moment excluded, she generally enjoys the traditional process of making them). In a way, they were or are or will be all tenants of the world. People might delude themselves into thinking they owned a piece of the Earth, but in reality they are just occupying a space until someone else comes along. And someone else seems to always come along.

Now if only Jake would come along before Francine's leg starts to cramp.

While Jake continues to pump away, Francine looks around at her room. How many people had lived in this room before, looked out this window, leaned upon these walls, walked upon this floor? Had sex here? Francine knows that the house belonged to Donald's family, but who lived here before them? At nearly a century old, the house likely had at least one other family live in it before. And before that, what early settlers or native Americans or animals resided on the land, or if nomads, passed on through this spot? She imagines possibilities, but one thing they shared in common is that they all had passed on, or merely moved on. And, of the three or four generations of Donald's family, only he still lived here. How long before he left too? Or Francine left? Who will live in this room after her?

Her right leg starts to cramp so she and Jake roll over and try a new position. Francine looks into he lover's eyes and wonders what it means to be a tenant, to be an occupant of the world. Shouldn't they take good care of things since they'll eventually be passing them on? Yes, she decides, they should. In fact, the best they can do is to take care of the house and pass it on to others. The same goes for the Earth, and all the things on it. Try to pass them on in good condition to future tenants. It's a shame so many people only think of themselves and not on whom their actions affect. Though it's not always bad to think of oneself either, Francine thinks, as she starts to finger herself. One just needs to remember that one isn't the only person on this ride called life.

Well, as far as we can tell anyway, she adds as sounds start coming out of Jake's mouth. The sounds start to rise in pitch. His thrusts speed up as well. Francine knows that means he's near the finish line. As Jake slows down, pulls out, and collapses on the bed beside her, Francine thinks, "Finally! I'm tired. Also, I'm hungry now."

Her stomach needs new tenants.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: Caution: Heel Turn Ahead (23 June 2012)

This evening's Grapple Groove features the return of Rod Ironinbed from his back injury and surgery. Such a return would be exciting, except nearly every week a wrestler returns from some horrible injury or another. For a fake sport, professional wrestling has real pain for its participants. Of course, wrestling storylines also include a lot of false injuries, so for a viewer such as Jake, it can be difficult to tell when a wrestler is really hurt or when the wrestler is milking a malady for the audience or an injury is used as an excuse for a wrestler's absence while he or she is filming a movie for several months. Over the years he's watched wrestling, Jake's learned to tell the difference though. If the announcers, cameras, and ring inhabitants (usually the wrestlers and the referee) are focusing on the injury, then it's usually fake, or a "work" as it's called in wrestling, or if the announcers suddenly start talking about something else, the camera cuts away, the referee has crossed his arms in an x over his head to call out medical assistance, one wrestler is unconscious or writhing in pain, and the other wrestlers look worried, then it's usually real, or a "shoot" as it's called in wrestling.

"Work" and "shoot" apply not just to injuries, but to numerous aspects of wrestling, and Jake's not sure which word applies to what Rod Ironinbed is doing as he addresses the crowd, as Rod seems to be drawing on some real emotion responding to the crowd's underwhelming applause for his triumphant return. The Samoan Stud walks from side to side of the ring with what looks to be a large pepperoni stick stuffed down his trunks. "That's it?" Rod asks, repeatedly jabbing his right index finger in the direction of his pepperoni stick, "I spend months in rehab to recover from what could have been a career-ending injury and you people react to my return like I just came back from walking across the street to buy a Poca-Cola? I should have had a standing ovation the moment I came down the ramp."

Leaning on the top rope, Rod looks at the crowd. He shakes his head, puts the microphone again to his mouth, and continues, "All right, if that's how you feel. If we're being honest tonight, then I have to tell you that I've never liked you people either. I don't care about you. I only want your money. In fact, except for your money, you people mean nothing to me. In fact, you make me sick. Look . . ."

Rod stops and grimaces, then continues, "I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. That hideous woman in the third row caused it I think, but it's hard to say because you're all so loathsome. I used to try to make you people like me, but you people are small-minded. You're never going to accept me, are you? So buzz off. You can lick my kumquats."

He points into the crowd, "You! In The Waffle Warrior t-shirt! I'm going to delight in beating him up just to annoy you. You! With The Java Jolter sign, I'm going to tear that out of your hands and stick it up The Jolter's nose!"

Music comes across the arena speakers, the sounds of power tools and factory noises, all to a vaguely uptempo country beat. Down the ramp comes Bob Bluecollar, dressed in his usual blue collared-shirt and with his tool belt containing a screwdriver, hammer, and other tools useful in hardcore matches. Rod stops berating the crowd and watches Bob enter the ring. Bob picks up a microphone, "Rod! Rod, what is the matter with you? I know coming back from an injury is nerveracking, but don't take it out on the crowd. They're happy to see you back, right?"

The crowd boos. Rod smirks and throws up his hands. Bob says, "Well, they've just been talked to harshly by you. I'm sure they'll forgive you if you apologize."

Rod looks down, looks at the crowd, looks at Bob, looks at the microphone, and raises it up to say, "You're right, Bob. I am sorry . . . that I didn't tell them to kiss my ass too!"

Dropping the microphone to the mat, Rod kicks the shocked Bob in the groin, then delivers his patented finishing move The Lightning Rod to Bob, and leaves Bob sprawled out in the middle of the the ring.

Jake guesses he's just witnessed the beginning of a Rod-Bob feud, and hopes that it'll be more interesting than the last time when Bob was the heel and Rod the face.

It probably won't be, but Jake will tune in anyway just to find out for sure.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: Capitalization And The Class System (22 June 2012)

A new pamphlet has turned up, this time in Clinton, Iowa. On an odd subject, how language functions to program people ideologically, this pamphlet is thought by many observers to not be written by the author of the other pamphlets. However, Francine thinks it is. She notes that the term "pop" is used in a wrestling sense, at least according to Jake. Entitled "Capitalization And The Class System," the pamphlet reads:

"Some of you have objected to our writing style, particularly our capitalization of the little words in the titles. According to the customary fashion, words that are prepositions, conjunctions, and articles are not capitalized in titles unless one is the first word of a title. We have neglected to follow this custom because we feel for the little words. They are hard working words. Why shouldn't they get the same respect as words that are nouns, verbs, pronouns, and the like? Therefore, we capitalize all the words in the titles to these publications, treating all the words equally. Now, some say this makes our titles confusing, but we don't find this to be the case. Putting some words in a title in upper case and some in lower case is merely a convention, but it's a sinister convention. It is a replication of the class system in our society, where some people matter more than others, measured of course by money. This ideological underpinning of our society has wormed its way into our grammatical stylings, where it helps to perpetuate the class system. It tells us that some words are more important than others. Some get capitalized whereas others don't. But we believe in equality and that all the words deserve an equal pop for the hard work each does to establish meaning. Think about it! Where would a title be if all the little words went on strike, if they revolted, if they rebelled, if they refused to accept their second class status? The title would be meaningless! It would be gibberish! War And Peace would be War Peace. What the hell does that even mean? Or Gone With The Wind would be Gone Wind, which sounds like a strange type of wind. In either case, the meaning is lost. Think of Hemingway's Across The River And Into The Trees. It would be River Trees without the little words, and people would think it was written by The Arbor Day Foundation instead! We need those little words! And our society needs the little people who keep it running. But those people deserve respect! They need to be capitalized too! They need capital, in fact! Note the uncanny similarity between capitals as in letters, capital as in money, and capital as in government leadership. This is by design! We may think of language as a tool, but we are also used by language. Those who run our society know this, and take advantage of it. Language programs us, so by making a "rule" or a "law" or a "standard" that not all the words in a title need be capitalized, those who run our society are seeking to instill subconsciously in us the idea that some things matter more than others. This idea when transferred over to human beings takes root as the idea that some human beings are better than others, with the result being the perpetuation of our class system, where some people are favored over others in our society, a society that is supposed to be directed at the proposition that all people are equal; instead it is directed at the preposition that large words are more important than other words. Confucius wisely noted that if you wanted to make a good society that you should first direct your attention at the language and make sure the names were correct, because if they were, then the language would be truthful, and if the language were truthful, then human affairs could be carried on without confusion, and so on. Well, we would extend Confucius's wisdom to also how we capitalize those names. Let us start there and then we shall have the beginning of a just society. Furthermore, this back and forth between upper and lower case in titles serves as a pitfall for the unprivileged in our society. The rich with the privilege of their education know such a silly and arbitrary convention, just as they have mastered all the arcane and subtle variations of useless table manners. However, the children of the lower classes may not know this convention, and even if taught it, they quite sensibly would note that it lacks common sense and offends their inborn sense of justice, but, as the children make their way in society, they will either have to conform or be caught out as those who lack capital. One is taught that one must oppress others or be oppressed. But this is a false dilemma! It is quite simpler to extend the benefits of capitalization on all the words in a title. Forgive us for lapsing into aesthetics, but we think it looks better as well! Therefore, it is capital that we must uniform capitalization to allow all of our society an equal chance at the championship titles of life."

Francine wonders what the pamphlet writer thinks of semicolons; she's always been suspicious of them.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: The Optimist And The Pessimist Argue Over How Much Water Is Left In The Glass (21 June 2012)

After Jacob And The Angel won the tag team tournament, fan interest in the tag team division in the WWWWWW increased. To keep the heat on, a new tag team has been introduced, but they're an odd couple. Jake logs onto the WWWWWW website to see a video promo by the new pair: The Optimist And The Pessimist.

The video starts with manager/valet H.C. Beaver coming out to introduce them. Wearing a sling to nurse her broken elbow, she nonetheless looks fabulous in her synthetic black fur shawl. She looks the viewer in the eye and says, "Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased as punch and keen as kick to introduce to you my latest discovery. These fellows are going to strike tag team gold for me; I just know it. First, here's The Optimist!"

A clean-cut Latino wrestler steps into the frame. Shirtless, he flexes for the camera, and then points at it: "Thank you, H.C.! I am confident that we will do just as our manager says, and earn victory after victory, all the way to the championship!"

H.C. introduces his partner, "And, now, The Pessimist."

A white wrestler with a scraggly growth of red beard and wearing a torn black t-shirt slouches into the frame. He carries a bottle of water, and says to H.C., "I asked that guy for a drink of water, and he gave me this. Look it's half-empty. Somebody's been drinking out of it."

"You know, you could look at that as half-full and that someone has done you the favor of already opening the bottle and sampling it for you to make sure that it's all right," The Optimist tells him.

"Man, it's half-empty. Nothing goes right for me. I don't even know how we got here. We're not going to win against any of these guys. We're never going to get a title shot. We're going to get our . . ."

H.C. cuts him off, "What The Pessimist means to say is he's stunned by their rapid rise to the top of the wrestling industry, and is humble that they are now in the elite of the tag team division."

The Optimist chimes in, "That's right! We're looking forward to some new competition because the old competition couldn't ever beat us. Isn't that right, partner!"

He slaps The Pessimist across the chest. The Pessimist shrugs and says, "We got lucky a lot. I think we only got this far so we could be humiliated on national television. God hates me, I think."

H.C. says, "I'll take it from here, boys! So, Jacob And The Angel, we're coming for you, so you better get ready. Enjoy those championship belts while you can!"

"I'm going to go make room in my suitcase for the belt right now!" The Optimist says and walks out of camera range.

The Pessimist shakes his head and says, "That guy's on crack. Today's going to suck, I know it."

"That's right. It's going to suck for our opponents when we get in the ring with them," H.C. says, flashing The Pessimist a dirty look, and then pushing him out of the camera frame.

She finishes the promo alone, "Is the glass half-empty or half-full? When The Optimist And The Pessimist are in the ring with you, you'll be too busy getting pinned to worry about it!"

After watching the promo, Jake feels thirsty.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: The Solstice Of The Pamphleteer (20 June 2012)

The longest day of the year in Cleaveland arrives and what do Francine and Jake due to celebrate it?

Have a picnic on the shores of Lake Eerie?

No.

Play a game of frisbee in the park and otherwise frolic in the sun?

No.

Spend all day inside on the computer working on their blogs?

Yes!

How severed can one get from the cycles of nature?

Never completely severed, but pretty close.

Jake sits on his bed with Rudy the cat in his lap and reads one of the pamphlets that Francine is investigating. This one is on how the rich are going to use nanobot technology to become cyborgs and live forever, gradually becoming less biological and more technological, or, if you'd prefer, more artificial and less natural. "This guy uses a lot of wrestling terms," Jake says.

"How do you know it's a guy?" Francine says, not looking up from the computer, where she's reading a website that claims the pamphlets stem from Dick in the White House.

"What?"

"How do you know it's a guy? It could be a woman. Or it could be a group of people."

"I don't know. They all read like they're written by the same person. Plus he keeps using wrestling language."

"'He'? Don't be sexist."

"It could be a sentient computer too, so how about if I use 'it'. Maybe it's an alien shapeshifting lizard demon turned rogue and wanting to expose the sinister plans of its race to humanity. Or maybe it's a cat, and the cat can spell very well."

"'It'? I guess that's fine."

"So, 'it' uses wrestling terms like 'submit', 'pinned down', and 'countout'. He even . . ."

"It."

". . . OK, 'it'. 'It' even uses the term 'stiff'."

"'Stiff'? That's a common word. What's unusual about that?"

"Yeah, but he uses it in a wrestling way. 'Stiff' in wrestling means your opponent is hitting you hard. Like, 'Bob you were working a little stiff tonight. Those punches hurt.' 'Well, Bill, I wanted to make it look real.' In this pamphlet, he, er, it writes, 'The implant surgery is a stiff one,' which doesn't make much sense unless you interpret it in the wrestling sense, which means the surgery hurts or is severe. The whole thing reminds me of something The Pamphleteer would hand out."

"The Pamphleteer?"

"He's a wrestler. His gimmick is that he passes out leaflets and tries to inflame the crowd. But it turns out he was passing out booklets for real. He used to be in the WWWWWW, but he got fired for trying to form a labor union. He's been working in the independents since."

Francine turns around, "And he travels around the country a lot, right?"

"Yeah, probably to wherever he can get a booking."

"He could be our it."

"You think so? I was half-kidding."

"It sounds as plausible as anything else I've come across. I'll check it out. I have determined something else though."

"What?"

"The English language needs an indefinite pronoun."

"How about 'they'?"

"That's still plural, and what if the person or thing is singular?"

"Hmm . . . I see what you mean. Why don't we figure out if The Pamphleteer is behind your pamphlets first though?"

"OK."

"Unless you want to wrestle me now. I can't promise I won't work 'stiff' though," Jake laughs.

"Oh, stop," Francine says, and turns back to the computer.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: Jolly Juneteenth (19 June 2012)

In the hammock on the front porch, Masani hears a car coming down the block and looks up from her book to see Jake's red car driving past the house on its way to a parking space down the street. "Yep," she thinks, "That's the housemate who doesn't pay rent coming."

She returns to her book, but keeps a mental track of Jake's approach to the house as his engine shuts off, his door slams, and his footfalls approach. When he steps on the first porchstep, she looks up and says, "Hey, Jake!"

"Hi, Masani! What are you doing here?" Jake says, climbing the stairs to the porch.

"I live here, Dear,"

"Uh," Jake says, "I know that. It's just that I usually don't see you during the week because you're at work."

"It's Juneteenth, so I took the day off."

"Juneteenth?"

"It's a holiday that celebrates the end of slavery. I told my boss that since my ancestors worked for free, the least she could do was give me the day off with pay. She gave me the day off but still made me take a personal day for it. I was surprised I could even get it off. Sometimes I think slavery never really ended; they just called it something else and expanded it to everybody except the very rich."

"Ah," Jake says, and then stays quiet, until he feels the need to say something else to break the awkwardness, "What are you reading?"

Masani holds up a red book, The Pornographic Flabbergasted Emus, "Some book Francine bought. It's pretty funny so it makes for some good summer reading."

"It is a nice day," Jake says, looking around, "Where's Donald?"

"Batman's sleeping in the Batcave."

"Is Francine home?"

"Upstairs. As usual, glued to her computer. Try to get her out in the sun sometimes, would you? If she gets any paler, I'm going to think she's a ghost one night."

"Ha! Will do. See you later," Jake says, and opens the door and goes inside the house.

Masani wonders if she'll need to put the earplugs in to drown out the sounds of sex that will shortly be coming from the house, which as she thinks about it is as good a way as any to spend Juneteenth. She returns to her book, but thinks before she does, "He's a nice guy, but if he ever breaks her heart, I'll break his balls."

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: The Mystery Of The Pamphlets (18 June 2012)

Francine has been fascinated with the pamphlets that Bernard, the postal clerk, gave her last week. Each one is a single 8 1/2 x 11 inch paper sheet folded over, with every inch on both sides filled with small dense text purporting to warn the reader of upcoming dangers for the world, except for the first page of the pamphlet, which has the title for the pamphlet in a larger font size. One pamphlet is about how North America is going to be turned into a nature preserve, except for a few cities. Another is about how a genetically-engineered flu will wipe out most of the world's population. Yet another explains how The United Nations is going to evolve into The United States Of Earth, and current nations will take the roles of states and provinces. None of the pamphlets is signed, nor is any contact information listed. Occasionally "we" is used as a subject, but the pamphlets all seem to be the work of one person, who either has a great imagination or knows more than the rest of us. The pamphlets always appear randomly in various places across the country such as in a bookstore, a coffeeshop, a laundromat, or a church. Some people collect the pamphlets and scan them in and post them online, where others download them to print out and distribute around their communities, but, as far as anyone can tell, the pamphlets are never posted online by the writer herself or himself. This is because, according to what's stated in one pamphlet, the writer claims that the Internet is too controlled and her or his, er, their warnings would be flooded with misinformation or censored; therefore, he or she, er, they only trust print distributed samizdat style through word of mouth. On the websites devoted to the pamphlets, there have been some fake pamphlets detected, and every time a new pamphlet appears, there is considerable debate about whether it is another by the writer, or by some imposter.

As a result, Francine is trying to solve the mystery of the pamphlets. Where do they come from? Who writes them? Are they truly the product of a voice in the wilderness trying to wake the populace, or the latest disinformation tactic in the infowars by the powers that be to muddy the waters of truth? It is hard to know anything for sure anymore. The mainstream media lies for the government and the big corporations, or if they don't lie outright, they simply omit the whole truth. For example, Newnews just ran a cover story debunking alternative and holistic medicine, but its advertising pages are filled with advertisements for the products of big pharmaceutical corporations, so who can really believe what its reporters say about competitors of and threats to those big advertisers? The reporters might be telling the truth, but they also might know who signs their paychecks ultimately. And, if no one uses an expensive drug with extensive side-effects because he or she knows that a cup of tea or even doing nothing will work just as well, then big pharmaceutical companies can't afford to advertise in large circulation magazines and websites, and if big pharmaceutical companies don't advertise, then reporters don't get paid, at least as it's set up in the current model of news. In a race between one's stomach and the truth, truth seldom wins.

Similarly, the alternative media are filled with a bunch of people who seem to make sense at first, but then are accused by others of being propagandists for various causes, or of even being gatekeepers, positioned by covert operatives, who hide the truth, so one doesn't even know if they can be trusted either. Some of them just have an instinctive distrust of government and business, which serves them well most of the time but steers them off course in a few cases. Some have their ideological blinders on, whether socialistic or libertarian, economic or psychological, northern or southern, rich or poor, or some other lens through which the whole world gets distorted. Some are simply bigots and blame the Jews, the Catholics, the Muslims, the blacks, the whites, the Russians, the Chinese, and so forth (take your pick) for all the ills of the world. Some even blame all the problems on forces from outside the world such as alien lizards or ancient Masonic demons.

And then there are the people who make sense. But picking them out of all the cacophony is very difficult. No wonder most people give up and are apathetic instead, settling for a full belly and a big-screen television, leaving the decisions that supply the food that fills that belly and builds that television to others.

To Francine, the entire civilization seemed ready to collapse. In the absence of the discredited old faiths, conspiracy theory serves as a new belief system that somewhere something someone, even if malevolent, is in control and the world makes sense.

What sense it makes she doesn't know, but the pamphlets seem to sketch a big picture when taken together.

Or does her need for reason make her susceptible to unreason?

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: A Date With Dad (17 June 2012)

Jake gives his dad money for Father's Day. This is the only gift sure to please him. Jake also tries to please his dad by spending the day with him.

First, he listens to his dad complain about his relatives, especially those on Mom's side.

Then, his dad puts on a car repair talk show on the radio and Dad complains about the callers.

Then, Jake makes coffee, but Dad complains that it's too strong so he runs more water through the grounds, and ends up with brown water that has a hint of a coffee taste to it, but he seems quite pleased with it, though when Jake tries it while getting a refill it makes Jake sick to taste it, so he throws the rest of his cup out.

Then, for breakfast, they eat French toast, which Mom made.

Then, they go to the living room, and watch political talk shows on television, and Dad talks back to the people on the screen and complains about the government.

Then, they go outside and Jake mows grass while his dad whacks weeds.

Then, Jake helps Dad clean the gutters, whereupon they discover a nest of yellowjackets. Overjoyed, Dad breaks out the bug spray and leaves little yellow and black corpses everywhere. "That'll teach them to mess with me," he tells Jake.

Then, they eat lunch. Jake offers to make it, but Dad vetoes him and Mom makes it, chicken soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. At first, Jake picks the chicken out of the soup, but Dad tells Jake that he needs the protein, and, to avoid an argument, he eats it. He would apologize to the chicken, but the chicken is already dead.

Then, they retire to the living room, where they watch golf, bowling, poker, and other of the most boring spectator sports on television, Dad flipping to another channel just as Jake would become mildly interested in the show they were watching. Dad tells Jake, "See, you should have kept bowling. You could be rich by now."

When they come across wrestling on one of the channels, Dad tells Jake for the millionth time, "You know that's fake, don't you?"

Then, they make some tea and eat some pecan cookies as a snack, and sit in the dining room, with Dad turning up the volume of the television in the living room until Mom yells, "I think they can hear it in Canada, Dear!"

Then, they go back to the living room and watch more television. Jake says, "Isn't there anything else you want to do today?" and Dad says, "It's almost time for the news."

Then, they eat dinner, lasagna, which Mom made.

Then, Jake washes the dishes, as payment for his "board" Dad says. "The room part of 'room and board' I'll let you have for free since you're family," Dad says.

Then, they watch more television, and Dad flips through prime time programming while Mom complains that he should pick one show and stick with it, but he tells her "It's Father's Day. On Mother's Day, you can pick what we watch."

Then, he continues through the channels, never really picking anything for long.

Jake takes a break to call Francine. "How was Father's Day?" she asks.

"Long, and it's turning into Father's Night. He seems happy enough though."

"Well, it's difficult for a man who enjoys complaining about things to ever be unhappy."

"True. Well, I've gotta go. He's complaining about me being on the phone. Thank God, this day only comes once a year."

"For those who have fathers. For Dads, Father's Day is everyday."

"Well, I hope I never have children then."

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: A Good Day For Blooming (16 June 2012)

In Purgatory, Francine waits in line behind a white man wearing an old black suit and fedora hat. The man walks away with a pint of stout. Approaching the counter, Francine says to Lilith, "It's a bit early for that, isn't it?"

"Normally, but today's Bloomsday, remember?" Lilith says, disposing of the bottle the beer was poured from, with a clink emanating from the recycling bin.

"Oh, that's right. Are they out back reading Ulysses already?" Francine says, looking out the coffeehouse's back door to where some more people in early 20th-Century clothing are gathered.

"Of course. Now can I interest you in a cheese and mustard sandwich, or a cup of James Joyce's coffee?" Lilith says.

"Won't Mr. Joyce miss his coffee if I drink it?"

"He's dead, so he won't mind, though the chef always gets mad when I serve his salad to customers," Lilith says, filling up Francine's mug, which says "Politics is the art of controlling your environment" and has a Ralph Steadman drawing of Hunter S. Thompson on it.

As she hands the mug over and collects Francine's cash, she says, "I see the operation went well."

"Operation?"

"Your Siamese twin isn't attached to you."

"Oh, shove it."

"Where is your boyfriend anyway? Is the bloom off the rose of romance already?"

"It's quite fine, I'll have you know. We just don't spend every minute together, Lilith."

"Just every other minute, huh?"

"What about you? I saw Eve the other day and she told me that your businesses might be combining."

"Yes, I've always wanted to have a combination bookstore and coffeehouse so we're thinking of relocating her stock upstairs and turning it into a bookstore."

"But where are you going to live?"

"I was thinking of the philosophy section. You know, the whole 'an unexamined life is not worth living' thing?"

"Did James Joyce write that?"

"No, James Joyce did not write that."

"Seriously, where are you going to live? In the attic? You're filling your apartment with books and turning it into a bookstore, so you won't be able to live there anymore."

"If we do that, then I'll move in with Eve."

"Now who's got a Siamese twin? You'll be living and working with her."

"Good thing I like her, huh?'

A woman dressed like Molly Bloom comes in from the backyard.

Lilith says to "Molly", "Hello, Dear. A refill on the coffee?"

"Yes, I will, yes."

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: The Key To Your Heart Doesn't Work In This Deadbolt (15 June 2012)

"Wait, you can get locked inside your apartment? How is that even possible?" Jake asks brown-haired Chris in the backyard of Purgatory.

Chris sets down her coffee on the table and makes motions with her hands, "Well, the deadbolt works from the outside, but on the inside, instead of being a little knob for it, is another keyhole, except that keyhole doesn't work."

Francine watches with amusement as Jake tries to understand, "Wait, so you can't actually use the deadbolt when you're inside the apartment, but you can lock it from the outside?"

Chris picks her coffee back up, takes a sip, and continues, "Well, technically, we could use the deadbolt while we were inside the apartment but one of us would have to go down the stairs, out the front of the apartment building, walk around the building, climb the stairs to our backdoor, lock the deadbolt, and then go back down the stairs, around the building, go inside the front of the building, and go back up the stairs to our apartment."

"Wait, that would mean if you used the deadbolt, then you'd be locked in your apartment, at least from the back door?" Jake says, as he scratches his head.

"Yes, which is why we never used it, except when we'd both leave."

"So, how'd you get locked inside your apartment today?"

"Well, Chris left, and through force of habit he locked the deadbolt, forgetting I was still inside, so when I went to leave out the back door, I couldn't get out, so I had to go out the front door. You see, usually he leaves after me, but I had the day off today and he forgot."

"Wait, isn't that a fire hazard? I mean if you were locked inside because of the back door and there was a fire in the front of the apartment, what would you do?"

"Probably burn to death."

"And the landlord won't fix this?"

"Well, that would cost him money. He likes the part where money comes in, but not when it goes out, so he makes sure it seldom ever goes out."

"Wait, can't you sue him or something?"

"Well, to be honest, the maintenance man showed up a few times to fix it, but every time he did, he said he needed to get a part and he'd be right back, and then a few weeks would go by before we'd see him again, and then he'd just look at the lock again and say he needed to get a part and the cycle started over. Plus, he got fired over the winter and they haven't hired anyone else yet."

"What did he get fired for? Not doing anything?"

"Well, he did do things, just not the things he was supposed to. For example, he stole the lawnmower and twelve ceiling fans."

"Twelve ceiling fans? What do you do with twelve ceiling fans?"

"Cool off a lot. Plus he stole the snowblower early in the winter so the walks were never cleared of snow."

"Wow! That sucks if you wanted to go anywhere during the winter."

"It was all right. I was unemployed, so I was locked in the apartment a lot of the winter anyway."

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: An Artificial Intelligence Is Better Than None At All (14 June 2012)

The bell on the door rings when Francine enters Apocalypse Books. Eve looks up from the computer on the counter, yawns, and greets her.

"That's new. When'd you put the bell on the door?" Francine asks, walking up to the counter while holding some pamphlets.

"The other day. Business has been slow, and, as a result, I've been nodding off at the counter when I've been alone in the store for too long. The other day a customer had to wake me up to check out. That was a bit embarrassing, so I put the bell on so even if I nod off, I should wake up when the bell rings," Eve says, then points at the computer monitor, "Say, have you seen this yet?"

Francine looks at what appears to just be a textheavy webpage, "No, what is it?"

"It's a novel writing robot."

"A novel writing robot?"

"Well, I guess it's just more of an artificial intelligence than a robot. What happens is that it's loaded with some basic stock literary plots like a quest or a romance or a coming of age story, and then you as a reader tell it what kind of book you want to read. So if you like vampires who only eat bears or you want to read more about an orphan boy who becomes a wizard, then you tell it that. Or if you want your orphan boy wizard to become a vampire and find a lost Leonardo Da Vinci painting, then you tell it that. Or you want a story like Wuthering Heights except everyone's gay, then you tell it that. Whatever you tell it, it plunks those elements into one of the stock plots, and a few minutes later you have a novel."

"Wow! That thing can write a book even faster than Joyce Carol Oates!" Francine says.

"Yes, poor authors. I'm afraid they're out of a job once this catches on. Readers can order up their most crass wish-fulfillment fantasies. No one's going to bother with a book that stinks of art or might tell them something they don't want to hear. It's cheap too since the robot doesn't demand royalties, and if you send the novel to a print on demand machine, then you can actually get a printed copy. That should effectively kill off my livelihood too," she looks around at the otherwise empty store, "What's left of it anyway."

"Yeah, but how can these novels be any good if they're basically written by a computer?"

"Have you read any mass market paperbacks lately? Romance novels? Adventure books? Those books are so formulaic that they might as well be written by a computer. In fact, the computer might have more personality than some of those authors," Eve turns away from the computer, "But I'm sure you didn't stop in to hear me moan about the publishing industry. What's up?"

"Oh," Francine says, setting the pamphlets she is carrying down on the counter, "Well, I got these pamphlets the other day, and I was wondering if you had any more of them."

"Well, if I don't, we'll tell the computer to write one for you," Eve laughs, picking one of the pamphlets up.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: I Really Thought The World Would Have Ended By Now (13 June 2012)

In the back of the Ostomy Cosmetics factory, near the warehouse portion of the building, Jake works on the mascara line picking up two packages of mascara pencils, putting the paper nonplastic bubble sides of the packages back to back to one another, dropping them in a small cardboard box, closing up the box, and sending it down the conveyor belt to Lucy, who puts the boxes in a larger box for shipping.

Why a machine couldn't be designed to do this, Jake doesn't know, but they pay him to do it, so he does it and tries not to drool from boredom.

Across from Jake, Belinda, a white fortysomething tattooed punk rock girl with a Bettie Page haircut hidden under her hairnet, also puts the mascara packages in boxes. At the machine where the conveyor belt begins, Bonita, Ginny, and Maxine sit and put the pencils in the bubbles and backing and send them into the machine which seals the packages. The machine hisses and grinds with each turn every few seconds, and more packages slide out the back onto the belt.

"So do you want to get a beer after work, Jake?" Lucy asks, snatching up another box.

"No, I'm pretty tired," Jake says, yawning and trying to stay awake.

"You going out, Lucy?" Belinda asks, folding another box together.

"Yeah. Jake used to go out after work, but ever since he got a girlfriend, he's no fun," Lucy says, sticking out her tongue at Jake.

"I need to save money. I have to move out of my parents' house before they drive me crazy," Jake says, scooping up another pair of mascara packages.

"How come you don't move in with your girl?" Belinda asks.

"I don't know. We've only been dating for a bit. In any case, the last time I lived with my girlfriend, it didn't go very well."

"Well, that's OK, you probably want to stay put anyway," Belinda leans in and motions with her hand for Jake and Lucy to lean in as well; when they do, she whispers, "I heard a rumor they were closing the plant. They're going to move it to China. You didn't hear it from me."

"Shit," Lucy says, "I hope that's not true. I need this job."

"You're not the only one. I thought the world was going to end in the eighties so I never went to school. I just partied figuring the end was near--nuclear war, whatever--but it never came. Then I was too busy playing in bands and doing drugs for years. I finally sobered up and I had no skills, so I ended up here. I don't wanna go back to bartending and being around alcohol all the time, but if this place closes, well, there ain't too many other jobs around for the likes of me. I'm surprised I still need to worry about this kind of shit. I really thought the world would have ended by now anyway," Belinda says.

Jake shakes his head, "I much as I hate this place--no offense to present company--and hate working second shift; I also hope it doesn't close, at least not until I can find a better job."

"The fucking greedy Ostomys. Like they need more money. And the fucking Chinese, who work for damn near free. No offense, Lucy," Belinda mutters.

"I'm Korean, so none taken, except for you thinking I was Chinese, I guess," Lucy says.

"Sorry. Well, maybe we'll get lucky and some terrorists will blow up the world before the plant closes," Belinda says, smiling.

"I'm not sure that's luck, but, yeah, we wouldn't have to worry about getting new jobs then," Jake says, reaching for yet more mascara coming on down the line.

"Yeah, and then I could start drinking again too," Belinda says, "Fuck it. Maybe I'll go out with you tonight, Lucy."

"Oh, no, Belinda, I don't want that on my conscience," Lucy says.

"Just keep drinking then and you won't remember," Belinda says.

There's an awkward silence. The machine clicks and hisses.

"Nah, I'm just kidding ya. I want to stay sober," Belinda says, "But the mind-numbing repetitive nature of this job makes me feel like I was stoned."

"Don't bogart that mascara, Belinda," Jake says, and sends another box down to Lucy.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: A Book Of Stamps And A Conspiracy Theory (12 June 2012)

Through the empty post office box, Francine can see a postal worker sleeping in a mail bin on wheels, alongside sacks of mail, in the back of the post office. "I don't even know why I bother to have a p.o. box anymore," Francine thinks, "No one ever sends me anything. The only time the box is ever full is when I get junk mail or someone puts something in the wrong box."

She closes the door of the post office box, and traipses through the underlit lobby through the doors to the counter section. A dapper older black man in a postal uniform looks up from a book and says, "Hello. How may I help you today?"

Francine reaches the counter and says, "Hello, I'd like some stamps."

"Any in particular you're looking for?" the postal clerk says, pulling out a large book with folders containing various stamps from under the counter.

"Anything new and nifty?" Francine says, looking around on the wall for a poster that might list the new stamps.

"Well, let's see, we just got these in the other day," the clerk says, opening up the book and pulling out a sheet of stamps with Dick's head on them.

"Dick's on a stamp?" Francine says, "Don't you have to be dead to be on a stamp?"

"Um, hum, that's what I thought too, but Dick just kept firing postmaster generals until he found one that would put him on a stamp, just in time for the election. I also thought we were an independent part of the federal government, a special agency, and Dick couldn't dictate to us what we could do, but apparently that isn't the case anymore for the postal service. I must say I do enjoy stamping his head though when I personally cancel stamps."

"Hmm . . . I have to see Dick often enough as it is. I don't want him staring back at me from an envelope. What else do you have?"

"Oh, we have more propaganda for you. I like to call this one 'The Bilderberg', but it's supposed to be for Earth Day" the clerk says, showing Francine a stamp with a picture of the Earth with various human hands placed on top of it.

"That is kind of disturbing. You know they were in town recently," Francine says, "I'd love to know why."

The clerk looks at Francine sharply, and then looks around to see if anyone is watching. When he sees that no one else is around, he leans in and whispers, "You have a p.o. box here, right?"

Francine nods.

"I'll put some pamphlets in your box. Read them."

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: Shakesberry Morning Goodness! (11 June 2012)

Monique climbs on Francine and Jake as they lie in bed sleeping, and meows loudly. Francine opens one eye, looks at the cat, and pokes Jake in the back, "Your alarm clock is very furry."

Jake rolls over and mumbles, " . . . she probably wants food."

Francine sits up and pets Monique, "Well, maybe not, she's also dragged the shoestring you use to play with them up here as well."

"No string, too early for string," Jake tells the cat.

Monique starts to purr and knead her paws on the blue sheet on top of Francine. "Now it's a purry alarm clock, and a furry alarm clock," Francine says.

"Too early," Jake says and buries his head in the pillow.

"Well, I should get going anyway. It was nice staying over here though. What time are your parents coming back?"

Jake sits up and yawns, "Not until later tonight. Sorry, they're old-fashioned and you can't stay overnight more."

"That's OK. It would kind of creep me out to stay the night and have your folks home anyway."

"Someday, I'll get a place of my own. And I hope it's before my parents drive me completely crazy."

Monique hops off the bed and runs madly out of the bedroom.

"Well, she must have forgotten about an appointment and then suddenly remembered," Francine says, getting out of bed.

"I have to get there, rightnow!"

Francine laughs and stands in one of the few areas in Jake's bedroom that isn't covered with stuff. She stretches and looks around at Jake's bedroom, "You have a lot of stuff, Jake."

Jake looks at Francine, cute in her underwear and one of his t-shirts, a plain black one, "Yeah, but you're my favorite thing."

"Are you objectifying me, Jake?" Francine says, giving him "the look".

A look of panic washes across Jake's face diagonally from top to bottom, left to right, "No, no, that's a song by The Replacements."

"I know. I'm just kidding you."

"Oh, sorry."

They kiss. Monique runs back in the room and meows, walking back and forth brushing against Francine's legs.

Francine squats down and pets the cat, who keeps meowing. "Oh, my, she has a lot to say," Francine says.

Jake says, "She's giving us the news report from last night. Do you want to take a shower or anything?"

"Me or the cat?"

"Um, you."

Francine stops petting the cat and starts putting on her clothes. She sniffs her armpits. "I am stinky, but I think I'll be all right. I'll just take one when I get home."

"Do you want breakfast? I think I'm going to try solid food today. I have this cool oatmeal cereal I bought last week at Stuff U Want. It's called Shakespeareal and it's oatmeal and shredded wheat shaped like a bust of William Shakespeare's head, plus it has dried fruits they call Shakesberries. On the box, they print an excerpt from one of the plays. I got part of Titus Andronicus, which actually won't go very well with eating, which may explain why the cereal ended up at Stuff U Want. It's the part where Titus kills the queen's sons and then feeds them to her in a pie."

"How appetizing! No, I'm good, Sweetie. Thank you. Since it came from Stuff U Want, I'd check the expiration date on that too before eating it. It might be as old as Shakespeare. Are you going back to bed?"

"Yes," Jake says, as Monique meows, "If I can find the snooze button on this furry alarm clock."

Francine laughs, kisses him, and leaves.

Jake goes back to sleep, thinking "God, I love that woman."

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: After All This Yogurt, I'd Kill For A Bilderberger (10 June 2012)

"Do you want some more yogurt?" Francine asks Jake, as she enters the living room in his parents' house, where she's been playing nurse as Jake recovers from his oral surgery.

Jake looks up from his recumbency on the couch, from where he watches an old wrestling match on the television, "No, thank you. No more JELL-O, no more ice cream, and, especially, no more yogurt, please."

"How's your mouth feel?" Francine says, motherhenning over him.

"Still sore," Jake says, watching Ed "The Bedwetter" Driphoski slam The Yankee Thumper's head into a turnbuckle and imagining that he feels just like The Thumper, "Thanks for taking care of me. I know you'd rather be staking out the Build-A-Bears right now."

"Bilderbergs," Francine corrects, "And, some people are more important to me than creepy rich people trying to run the world."

"What are they doing in Cleaveland anyway?"

"No one knows. Well, I mean, people know that it's for their annual conference, which meets every year about this time, but no one knows why it's here specifically. It was supposed to be in New York a couple weeks from now, but they faked everyone out and ended up here at The Globalist, the hotel connected to The Healthy Hospital. They usually pick somewhere more luxurious than the nation's poorest big city."

"Maybe someone's sick."

"There have been rumors that The Queen Of The Netherlands has been having some bad hemorrhoid problems from sitting on all her money, but I thought that was a joke. Maybe the Rockefellers have come to Cleaveland to celebrate the centennial of John D. buying the Earth or something. Then again, maybe they just heard that Cleaveland was a good place to hunt poor people and they're dressing a homeless person up like a fox right now or something."

"Maybe they're on a budget like the rest of the world now too and needed a cheap place for their conference."

"Ha! I doubt that! They'd just print up more money if they needed it. A lot of them run the central banks of various countries, and they're always pushing for a worldwide central bank. They want the world to be one system so it'll be easier for them to run it."

"That sounds kind of scary, but it's hard to imagine they'd be worse than Dick."

"Well, Dick's in league with them, though it appears there might be some friction between him and the rest at the moment. I suppose him being a vending machine and them still being human might do that."

"So, if they're right here in town, how come people here can't attend?"

"They're very secretive. You should see The Hospital area. It's like a military occupation over there with armed guards and everything."

"No thanks. I'm still mad at them for changing their name and taking 'Cleaveland' out of it."

"Oh, right, they said 'Cleaveland' had negative connotations and reflected badly on their image. So much for homegrown honor, eh?"

"Well, that's all right. I guess I don't care that much since I avoid hospitals like the plague anyway. In fact, hospitals are a good place to catch the plague, I bet, with all those sick people in them."

"Well, there are some more sick people around that hospital than usual, with The Bilderbergs at the hotel. I'd love to know what's going on there right now."

"Maybe you can join their organization and attend the next one."

"Ha! I should write to The American Friends Of Bilderberg for a membership application. I'm sure they'll get right back to me about that. They'll say, 'Do you have massive amounts of money?' I'll say, 'No.' 'Are you in a business or political position of great influence?' 'No.' 'Would you like to make the rich people today even richer at the expense of the poor?' 'No.' 'Do you enjoy lying to people and manipulating them with propaganda?' 'No.' 'Are you fond of monarchies and secret decision making or do you favor democracy and transparentness in government?' 'The latter.' 'I'm sorry, Ms. Apple, you're just not Bilderberger material.'"

"Don't make me laugh!" Jake says, as he puts his right hand on the right side of his mouth, "Ow! Time for another pain pill, I think."

"Want me to get it?" Francine asks.

"No, I probably need to stand up anyway. I'm tired of lying down, but I'm also too tired to do much else. Also, I can't wait until I can eat real food again."

"How about a Bilderburger?"

"Don't taunt me. All this politics stuff is confusing. That's why I like wrestling. The good guys and bad guys are easy to spot."

"Well, it's kind of like wrestling in that they're all working together, but pretend not to be in the show they put on for the masses. That's why they don't let media people into the conference unless they're lapdogs being given their marching orders."

"Hot dogs?"

"Lapdogs."

"I must be hungry. I'm going to eat some more yogurt."

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: Goodbye, Teeth! Hello, Wisdom! (9 June 2012)

Flipping through a wrestling magazine at the drugstore while waiting for his prescriptions after his oral surgery, Jake tries his best to ignore the growing ache in his stuffed with gauze mouth. He also tries not to bleed on anything.

What was the worst thing about the experience, Jake?

Was it having to stare at the oral surgeon's 1970s male porn star moustache peeking out of his surgical mask for the length of the surgery?

Was it when the surgeon yelled at your tooth? Apparently, he had three more surgeries and a golf appointment this Saturday morning after you and no stubborn tooth was going to hold him up--dammit, come out!

Was it hearing a series of loud cracks from inside your mouth, the kinds of sounds that you would find disturbing if you heard them outside of your body, even at some distance, perhaps down the block or across the street? Coming from inside your own body, they were completely terrifying, and you had to remind yourself once again that the general anesthesia was too expensive and that's why you opted for the local anesthesia only.

Was it the series of strange metal tools being shoved in your mouth, often all at the same time?

Was it having your head yanked violently from side to side?

Was it the strange feeling of seeing blood come out of you, but feeling no pain?

Was it feeling the pressure when the surgeon and his assistant put a clamp on your tooth and pressed down? Did the assistant really sit on your chest and hold your head still at one point? Perhaps you shouldn't have based your choice of surgeon purely on the fact that this one had a "get one tooth extracted, get the other extracted free" coupon in the direct mail coupon pack. Dr. Maxilla assured you that the surgeon was competent but he also chuckled a bit when he told you that.

Was it the surgeon occasionally saying, "How are you doing there, buddy?", you giving him a thumb up, and that apparently being the cue for him to say "Great!" and start a drill or saw in your mouth?

Was it the smell of your bones being cut? It was unpleasant, but you just took it stoically and reminded yourself that you were going to lose a tooth anyway if the wisdom tooth kept growing into the tooth in front of it. At least you kept the wisdom teeth on the left side, so you still have two spare teeth, even if the ones on the right are now gone.

Was it the one-handed drive home afterward as you kept the other hand on your face as it started to ache? Perhaps it wasn't wise to drive yourself to the surgeon's office, but your parents were in Atlantic City for the weekend--they said they'd cancel their trip once they found out the appointment was the same weekend but you told them it was no problem--and you didn't want to bother Francine this early in the morning when she worked the night before.

But you survived as you knew you would. In any case, you knew it couldn't possibly be worse than a training session with Lew 'Life of the Party' Zsyrjba, and you survived those.

They call your name in the drugstore. As you close the magazine up to put it back on the rack, a drop of blood rolls out of your mouth and falls on it, so you buy it too.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: And Will The Real Vice-President Please Stand Up? (8 June 2012)

"Now that the major party presidential nominations are decided all but formally, all the political junkies start to obsess on the vice-presidential picks as if it were a horse race. This is because presidential politics is a horse race, but one where the bettors all lose, the horses race rearfirst, and none of the owners of the horses ever clean up the hordes of horseshit they leave behind. What else would you expect of people who spend millions of dollars to get a job that only pays thousands? We left the land of the sane long ago and now reside in The United States Of America, where we the people are wee people," Francine writes in her blog post entitled "Please Don't Forget To Water The Vice-President Before You Leave For The Evening".

After picking Poorpeople for the Republican nomination and Clinton for the Democratic nomination, Francine asks her blog readers to comment on whom they think will get the nods to possibly nod off for the next four years in the laziest position in the federal government, a job in which one could go on vacation after the inauguration and no one would notice unless the president died.

"Kung Fu Kit Carson" comments, "I disagree with your characterization of the vice-presidency, Francine. I think it is a very important job. Dick used it to be president before he actually was president. And Al Gore used his time valuably then to invent the Internet."

"Bessy From Boston" comments, "I think they should decide it like American Idol and have people vote for their favorite. They should also make it like a talent show, and have a bathing suit competition as well."

"The End Is Vi" comments, "It'll be decided at the Bilderberg conference this month. They audition the finalists there. They don't let us peons know until the conventions though, when they pretend it's a surprise."

"God Willing And The Creek Don't Rise" comments, "I think Dick and Poorpeople hate each other too much. Ditto for Polipo and Clinton. I don't see either happening. I can see Dick going with Clinton again though. Anb Dessy don't we vote for them already in the election anyway? I don't ever want to see Poorpeople in swim trunks! Having to look at him in a regular suit is bad enough!"

"Discount Drug Deals" spams, "Hey guys! I just got a great deal on electronics! Computers, music players, software, vice-presidents, and more! Just click here!"

"Bessy From Boston" comments, "Kit, Gore didn't invent the Internet while being vice-president. In fact, he didn't invent it at all, but he did show considerable foresight when he was in Congress and supported its development extensively."

"The End Is Vi" comments, "I don't care who they pick. I'm voting for Kitty O'Couscous anyway. Vote third party!"

"Kung Fu Kit Carson" comments, "I think Francine's right about Poorpeople. Despite how he and Dick feel about one another, at the end of the day, they know they need one another to win. That is, if the fix isn't in already anyway."

"Dialup Still Rocks" comments, "I miss the 1990s. Can Gore be VP again?"

"Antichrist Ron" comments, "I don't care who they pick either because I expect the rapture will take place between now and election day. It's not too late to save your souls, folks!"

"Kung Fu Kit Carson" comments, "Thanks for the clarification, Bessy! By the way I like your American Idol idea, but I'd prefer it be like Survivor and we get to vote the losers out of the country!"

"Bessy From Boston" comments, "I don't know who it's going to be either, but I hope it's a woman. Men have been running this country into the ground for centuries. It's time for a woman to run it into the ground!"

"The End Is Vi!" comments, "I kind of liked that Barack Obama guy, but Dick put him in Guantanamo Bay alongside Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul. I still don't believe they were trying to blow up The Statue Of Liberty like Dick said they were."

"Dialup Still Rocks" comments, "Hey, that spammer's back, Francine!"

"Bessy From Boston" comments, "Just ignore him and Antichrist Ron, Dialup! It's the best policy. The spammer's automated and moved on by now anyway. We can't get so lucky with Ron, unfortunately."

"Kung Fu Kit Carson" comments, "Hey, I wonder if that electronics store has presidents half off. Get it? Half off! Dick just is a head! Get it! Ha!"

"Bessy From Boston" comments, "We get it, Kit."

"Antichrist Ron" comments, "You might be able to ignore me, but you won't be able to ignore Jesus when he comes back."

"Kung Fu Kit Carson" comments, "Jesus for Veep! This way if the president dies, he can just raise him back from the dead. Best. V. P. Ever!"

"Francine" comments, "Thanks, guys. I'd just like to point out that Jesus isn't an American citizen so he unfortunately can't serve as vice-president."

"Dialup Still Rocks" comments, "I get it, Kit."

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: Speller B Loses His C-O-O-L (7 June 2012)

"Sometimes reading the news makes my blood boil," Francine says, looking up from Jake's computer in the corner of his crowded with stuff bedroom.

"What happened now?' Jake says, while waving an old black shoestring in front of the cats in the doorway.

"Well, not that it's a surprise, but it's official now that the primaries are over: Dick has the Republican nomination and Polipo the Democratic one. So people get to choose between a fascist soft drink vending machine and a corrupt spineless putz for president. Either way we lose."

"What about third parties?" Jake says, as Monique lunges at the string.

"Ha! As much as I'd like to see a Libertarian president or anybody who's not a R or a D win, I think it's more likely that the Whigs would come back from the dead and win since everyone loves zombies nowadays. In fact, most people in America must be zombies, because otherwise I don't understand how the entire primary process could have yielded these two dunderheads."

"Well, it's fixed, right? Isn't that what you always tell me?"

"Well, it's either believe that or believe the vast majority of people are incredibly stupid. Aargh! It makes me so angry. I must breathe deeply to calm down."

"Ha! You remind me of Speller B."

"Speller B?"

"The wrestler."

"Oh, right, the wrestler. I should have guessed he was a wrestler. Well, what about him?"

"The new storyline has him attending anger management classes because he has anger issues. So, lately, they've been having his opponents taunt him and try to tick him off so he'll blow his cool and do something stupid to lose the match like get disqualified or distracted enough that he can be pinned easily. So he tries to calm down by breathing deeply or imagining himself in a peaceful place."

"Does it work?"

"No, he always freaks out and loses the match. It's funny."

"I'm glad the suffering of others is entertaining for you and other wrestling fans."

"That's what makes it such a beautiful sport. Do you want to bat at the string too? The cats seem to find it mesmerizing. Maybe that would help you calm down."

Francine gets up from the computer, "I can think of something else that might relax me more."

"You have a dirty mind, my Dear."

"I was thinking of going for a walk since it's such a nice sunny day, but that would work too."

"OK, I have the dirty mind."

"I don't mind."

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.