Blog Love Omega Glee: Blog Update Guilt (29 April 2012)

The problem with a blog is that it's always on, and readers expect regular updates or they stop reading. Jake hasn't updated Two Out Of Three Falls for about a week now so he has a bad case of B.U.G.: Blog Update Guilt.

At first it was because of his new job. Working second shift has thrown Jake a bit off. He wakes up late, plans to post something on his blog, but then it's time for work. When he finally gets home again, he's tired and it's time for sleep. He planned on posting this weekend, but he, Lucy, and some other coworkers from Ostomy Cosmetics went to a bar after work on Friday night, and Jake discovered that when people get off work only an hour or so before last call, they often will condense a whole night's carousing into a power hour of drinking. Pitcher after pitcher appeared on the table and down their gullets. As a result, Jake was lucky to drive home alive--thank God he skipped the proffered shots--and too hungover Saturday to post anything on his blog. Today, he plans to catch up on things, but finds that the new Organ Smugglers wrestling DVD set he got in the mail catches his eye and spends six hours watching a documentary about the tag team who started out as heels threatening to steal the organs of opponents and doing cheap shots like kidney punches and eye gouges, but evolved into cuddly faces who remind people to mark the organ donor box on their driver licenses, and visit children who receive donations in hospitals, as well as a collection of their greatest matches (the "Skin Graft Stampede" match is Jake's favorite).

Now, after dinner, Jake's finally worked his way to the computer. He plans on reviewing The Organ Smugglers DVD collection, but first decides to check his email. Amidst all the spam and commercial email is a note from Francine inviting him to the bloggers and zinesters convention in Cleaveland next weekend. Francine points out that the zinesters wanted to call it a zine fair whereas the bloggers wanted to call it a blogfest, and they had an argument ("Zines are older!" Blogs are more popular!") and finally just compromised on calling the conference "Meet The Nutjobs". She writes, "So if you finally want to meet this nutjob in person, then I'll hope you attend."

Excited, Jake types a reply in a blur of his two index fingers, which is how he types, on his keyboard that he will be there. Then after he hits send, he remembers he doesn't know where it is, and has to look on the convention website to discover that it is downtown at Cleaveland State University. Well, wherever it is, he will be there, and he is excited to finally have a good excuse, er, opportunity to meet Francine in person.

The next email is a reader, neilfromctown@ineedalife.biz, complaining that the blog hasn't been updated. Jake thinks of writing back and telling Neil that "I don't exist for your entertainment," but writes instead, "I know, dude, I've been busy with a new job. I hope to get back on track once things settle down."

Jake visits his blog, and views the comments on his last posts. On them, Neil asks about where Jake has been lately, and a couple other readers also lament the lack of posts. North has commented too, answering their moaning with "Two words: anal warts."

Yawning, Jake realizes that he's worn down from his job. He never imagined that eight hours filling tubes with goo, or putting bottles in boxes, or sealing cardboard and plastic to package an item could be so tiring. The actual individual action was pretty low impact. It was just doing it hundreds or even thousands of times in a row that drained all the energy from Jake's body. Not to mention the boredom. Oh, God, the boredom. Jake couldn't let his mind wander too far or he'd screw up and a coworker or supervisor would yell at him, but it is hard to pay attention when one is scraping goo off the top of a bunch of lip balm containers as they roll by on the conveyor belt all evening. Jake wonders if he should describe his job instead of reviewing The Organ Smugglers collection.

Finally, he decides just to go to bed, depressed that this time tomorrow he'll probably be making sure the capper machine isn't jamming while putting caps on the lip balm tubes. "God, Jake, don't be so melodramatic because you have to work in the morning! You're doing your part to help society! Those girls in Nebraska need their lip balm!" his conscience tells him, extolling the virtues of the free enterprise system.

Lying in bed, Jake feels even more guilty that he didn't post anything on his blog. Tomorrow, he'll get up early and post, he promises himself, then drifts off to sleep, dreaming of The Organ Smugglers wrestling the machines at work. They take Jake's liver and squeeze it into the goo vat for the new liver-flavored lip balm, which apparently is very popular in the international market, but domestically only for those pet owners who like to put lip balm on their dogs so their lips don't get chapped on their poop walks during the winter.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee Among The Finalists At Textnovel.Com!

I'm quite honored that Blog Love Omega Glee has been selected as one of the finalists in the Textnovel.Com 2008 novel contest. If you haven't checked out the site yet, please do so. There are lots of interesting stories being serialized that you can read online and on your cell phone!

Blog Love Omega Glee: Nationalism In The Scrap Yard (28 April 2012)

Masani pops the trunk on her 2005 Sanpo Sippai, and she and Francine unload the shelves and posts of her disassembled bent metal bookcase, along with a couple broken metal folding chairs, at The Heavy Metal Scrapyard ("Our prices rock!"). An old man wearing flip-flops and a Cleaveland t-shirt wheels a shopping cart full of cans and other metal debris past them, while two younger guys wrestle a bunch of copper pipes out of the back of a pickup truck. There's an open air building with a huge scale behind the parking lot, and behind the building mounds of metal piled up to the horizon. A huge American flag is draped down the side of the building. A middle-aged guy wearing white work gloves comes out of the office behind the scale and tells the old man to put his stuff on the scale. The old man wheels the entire shopping cart onto the scale. The shopping cart says "The Drugstrip" on the handhold bar. "Take the stuff out of the cart. Don't you want the cart back?" asks the guy from the office.

"No, I'll just get another one tomorrow," the old man says, lighting a cigarette.

"Is that cart yours?"

"Yeah."

"OK," the guy goes back in the office and returns with a roll of cash, a few bills of which he gives to the old man, who whistles and walks away.

"Do you think that shopping cart was really his?" Francine whispers to Masani, as the guy from the office summons another scrapyard worker to wheel it away.

"Only in the same way one is mine when I'm using it at the store," Masani says, holding the remains of her bookcase and waiting behind the guys with the pipes.

The copper pipe guys drop their pipes--clang clang clang clang clang clang . . . clang!--onto the scale. "Are those pipes all yours?" the guy from the office asks.

"Yes, sir."

"You didn't steal 'em from no houses, did you?"

"Oh, no, sir."

"OK," the guy looks at the scale reading and peels them off some bills from his roll, which seems to be mostly singles.

"Let's go to the bar," one of the guys says to the other, as they leave.

"OK, ladies, you're up," the scrap guy says, as a couple other scrappers gather up the pipes to carry to the copper corner of the yard.

Francine and Masani put their stuff on the huge scale. "What do you do with all this stuff anyway?" Francine asks the scale guy.

The man looks at the scale, and gives them two dollars, "Oh, mostly send it to Asia where they melt it down and turn it into something else, and then sell it back to us. It used to be easier when we just sent it to the metal shops and steel mills here, but they're gone, so now we have to send it halfway around the world. It doesn't make much sense but that's globalization for you."

Francine and Masani thank him and walk away. Francine says, "I think it's going to be the United States of Earth someday. Globalism is replacing nationalism, and the world's going to be full of things that don't make any sense like stripping our country for scrap just to send it overseas so people working in slave labor conditions can ruin the environments of their countries too just to sell more crap back to us that eventually is all going to end up back here and start the cycle all over again. Eventually we'll run out of places to ruin."

"Well, by that point, we can probably just ruin ourselves all over again. But, hey, cheer up, at least we got two dollars," Masani says, "I thought we were only going to get one. And at least that stuff'll be recycled and didn't go to the landfill."

"I think the whole country's a landfill some days," Francine says, getting back in the car, "Look at all those guys stealing anything they can just to get a couple pathetic bucks for it. And that guy has to know that stuff is stolen."

"He winks at them and they wink at him. Welcome to America in 2012. A gigantic scrapyard where everyone winks at one another," Masani says, starting the car, then turning to Francine and winking at her, "Maybe we do need a global government. There are so many problems like the environment, economy, and crime that cross national borders anymore and no one nation can control."

Francine winks back, "I think that'll just turn the world into a giant junkyard. I don't have much in common with somebody in Utah; how much am I going to have in common with somebody in Uganda?"

"Well, they probably have a scrapyard there too, so that's a start," Masani says, as they drive away.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: That Tree Could Use Some Eyeshadow (27 April 2012)

Still getting the rhythm of his new schedule down, and overestimating the time it takes to commute from Lackwood, a suburb of Cleaveland, to the Ostomy Cosmetics corporate compound located in a suburb even further west that used to be farmland and forest not that long ago, Jake arrives at work early, pulling into the parking lot of Ostomy Cosmetics a full half-hour before he really needs to be there. He parks his car amid the first-shifters all starting theirs up, pulling out, and going home, which flutters briefly across his consciousness as a metaphor for his life of late, always out of sync with the rest of the world, a twenty-five-year-old college graduate working the same job a high school dropout could. He thinks briefly of going somewhere else until it's time to work, but it's exurbia so there isn't much else to go to, just lots of cheap land, low taxes, and racial homogeneity, so he gets out, squints in the afternoon sun, and does the second shift shuffle into the factory, accepting his fate of essentially spending the rest of his waking hours today working, something that's been hanging over his head all day since he woke up this morning.

While going to hang up his jacket, he runs into Lucy, a fellow second shifter, who says, "Oh, are you here early for the Arbor Day ceremony too?"

"Uh, sure," Jake says, noting Lucy's pretty brown eyes and cute button nose.

"You're the new guy, right?"

"Uh, yeah, I started Tuesday."

"You're catching on quick. Every once in a while, the company will have one of these silly things and pay us to attend. Not everyone takes advantage of it, but I always do. You just listen to a boring speech and eat some cookies and you get paid for it. It beats cranking out mascara on the lines. Go punch in and we'll go over."

"I can punch in already?"

"Of course, do you think I'd show up early if I weren't getting paid?"

Shrugging, Jake takes his little white Ostomy Cosmetics plastic card and runs it through the punchclock in the hallway, and he follows Lucy outside. The Ostomy factory is located on several acres of land and designed on the model of a Southern plantation due to a quirk of the Ostomy family, who privately held the company. Jake doesn't like thinking of himself as a slave, but it is clear already in his short tenure with the company that the Ostomys like to fancy themselves masters. They are particularly fond of appearing to be benevolent ones by providing employees with niceties such as the outdoor fitness walk that surrounds the factory, which, of course, also helps to lower health care insurance costs for the company by creating fitter employees and consequently lower premiums. Lucy and Jake join up with a small group of employees in front of the plantation house corporate headquarters, who are watching the current C.E.O., Cole Ostomy, plant a tree, or to be more accurate watch Cole Ostomy hold a shovel and give a speech while two first shifters plant a sapling. Cole pontificates, "We here at Ostomy Cosmetics like to help people look their best, and we feel the same way about landscapes. We like to make our environment look its best as well. Now we can't apply eyeshadow to the environment in the same way we can to a person, but we can improve the appearance of our landscape in other ways such as by planting a tree. That's why every Arbor Day we plant a tree. Now in the future, this little oak will grow big and strong and our employees can picnic under its shade, or maybe just look at it and enjoy its stately manner. We can even stand near it and breathe our carbon dioxide on it and inhale the fresh, delicious oxygen it will give out. In any case, this tree is a great addition to the Ostomy family, and I'm sure you join with me in looking forward to watching it grow over the years."

Jake, having passed scores of trees being razed to make room for unnecessary new shopping centers and housing developments on the way here, wishes the little tree luck.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: The Best Time To Commit A Crime (26 April 2012)

"Fred! Dinner!" Jake's mom yells, taking reheated lasagna out of the oven and bringing it to the dining room table.

She sits down in her chair, drops her black and blue poofy oven gloves at the side of her placemat, rests her chin in her left hand, and on the table taps the fingers of her right hand like a idiolectic version of Morse code which translates to "Where is that man? He was just here. Why does he always disappear at dinnertime?" She sighs, serves up some lasagna for herself, and yells, "Fred! It's hot now!"

"All right, all right," Jake's dad comes in from the living room, a folded newspaper tucked between his right elbow and right side and clutching a television remote control in his left hand, which he uses to turn up the volume on the local news program while settling into his seat awkwardly until he can drop the newspaper on the table and focus his efforts on clawing the remote..

A news report on the funeral of a Cleaveland policeman BECOMES VERY LOUD AND EVEN LOUDER WHEN THEY SHOW FOOTAGE OF THE BAGPIPERS AND THEN THE RIFLE SALUTE.

"Fred! Turn it down!"

"All right, all right! Ach! The buttons on this remote always get stuck. I didn't mean to turn it up that loud."

"You shouldn't be watching it at all. I thought we agreed on no television during dinner. We're supposed to talk. We're a family."

"All right, all right!" Dad turns off the tv.

It pops back on again. "It's sticking again on the power button. We need a new remote," Dad says, as he manages to successfully turn off the tv again, and this time it stays off.

"For crying out loud. You and that television."

"Where's Jake? You were yelling at me, but he's not here either."

"He's at work, remember? He works second shift now."

"Oh, that's right. Well, what do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know. Whatever, your day."

"Another day, another dollar. I see they were having a funeral for that cop who got shot."

"Yes, that was sad. It's nice all those police officers turn out to support one another."

"Ach, it's a big waste of money. I bet half of them were on the clock while they were there. Meanwhile, who's defending the citizens while they're all at the funeral?"

"Fred!"

"If I were a criminal, that's when I'd commit my crime. When all the cops are at a funeral, that's a good time to knock over a bank."

"I'm sure there's somebody covering things."

"Oh, you never know. There were a lot of cops there. It's like September 11th. The armed forces were conducting war games involving hijacked airplanes, and while they were so distracted, the real thing happened."

"Somebody on the inside knew."

"I tell you the only good thing about 9/11 is that New York City policemen finally learned that terrorism wasn't good. When I was younger and living in New York, they'd have these Irish cops come through the bar soliciting donations for the I.R.A. It was like a shakedown and I knew the money was going for bombs in Belfast and London. When things were exploding in their own town, then they finally figured out that funding terrorism wasn't a nice thing. When it was somebody else's town, they didn't seem to much care."

"You didn't give money to them, did you?"

"No, I wouldn't contribute. They'd lean on me, but the bartender would tell them I was cheap, and only there to help my brother get home, and eventually they'd move on. So what crime do you want to commit the next time there's a cop funeral?"

"What?"

"I'm serious. I think we could get away with it. Anyone you want to murder? I can think of a few people I'd like to get rid of."

"Oh, this conversation is ridiculous. I don't want to talk about crime and terrorism and murdering people at dinnertime. That's not cheerful dinner talk. You might as well put the news back on if that's all you're going to talk about."

Dad smiles and the television goes back on.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: Stocking Up On Books For The Apocalypse (25 April 2012)

Francine is brushing her teeth in the bathroom when she hears an avalanche in the next room. She spits into the sink and calls out, "Masani, are you OK?"

"No!" she hears from the other room.

Francine drops her toothbrush on the vanity, and runs over to Masani's room. She opens the door to find Masani under a fallen bookcase and heaps of books. Masani pushes some books aside and crawls out from under the bookcase. Kicking a few books aside, Francine gives her a hand getting up. "Careful, that one was a first edition!" Masani cries.

"Sorry. What happened?" Francine says, as Masani dusts herself off.

"Too many books apparently. Well, that and a cheap bookcase from Mart Mart saw me reenacting a scene from Howards End by E.M. Forster," Masani says, holding her right side tenderly.

"Never read it, so I don't get the allusion. Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I think so, Honey. I just think I have too many books. The Friends of the Library had a buck a bag sale and I couldn't resist."

"How many bags of books did you buy?"

"Oh, ten," Masani whistles and looks away.

Francine tilts her head, and waits for Masani to make eye contact again.

"OK, twenty," Masani says, squatting down and scooping up a few books.

"That's a lot of books," Francine bends down and picks some of the books up to form a neat stack, "I think you're addicted to reading."

"My name is Masani and I am a bookaholic."

"You certainly do have a lot of books. Have you read all these?"

"Not yet. But I want to be well-stocked so if civilization ever collapses I won't be bored."

"I think we'll have bigger things to worry about if civilization collapses."

"Not me. Civil war could break out and the US could split into different countries, the oil could run out, the electricity could stop and all those fancy electronic items can become expensive doorstops, but as long as I have sunlight and a few books I'll have a good time whatever happens."

The two women gather up the books and pick up the black metal bookcase, which is twisted in the middle.

"Well, I don't know about civilization, but I think this bookcase is a lost cause," Francine says, trying to bend the bookcase back into shape.

"I think you're right. I certainly won't trust it again. Let's just stack the books in the corner, and throw the bookcase on the porch. I can take it to the scrap metal place and get maybe a buck for it."

"So you can buy another bag of books?"

"What an excellent idea for how to use that dollar, Francine."

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: Making Makeup (24 April 2012)

It smells like strawberries in the makeup factory today. They're cranking out lip gloss and strawberry is the flavor of the day. At the far end among many large vats of cosmetic confections, a big vat of strawberry flavored goo is being mixed up with no real strawberries in sight. Occasionally, a smaller tub of the goo is taken over to one of the many machines across the rest of the factory floor and poured in, and out it comes in carefully timed squirts into vials, tubes, jars, and containers of all sorts. These containers have different brand names on them. Some retail for more, some for less, but they are all the same goo. At one of the machines, Jake sits holding vials up to a nozzle which every five seconds squirts a measured amount of goo. Once squirted, Jake sets the vial down on the conveyor belt, where it goes to someone who will tap it, someone who will wrap it, and someone who will cap it. Then Jake must scoop up another empty vial and the nozzle makes a whoosh and then comes more goo. Jake has been doing this for an hour, and he almost feels like a part of the machine, just a part that needs to eat.

A whistle blows. Breaktime! Hooray for break! Watch the workers leave their stations and stream back to the breakroom. Fifteen minutes to eat a snack, drink a coffee, chitchat on the phone, use the restroom, take a smoke, fuck a coworker in your car in the parking lot, or whatever you want to do with your fifteen minutes. Maxine, an older black woman with glasses who's worked here for ten years, fills Jake in on the routine. They both wear hairnets to keep their hair out of the goo, and don't bother to take them off during break. The workers of the world are gathered here to make up the makeup. There's Bonita who came to the United States for streets of gold but found only streaks of gold haircoloring. Maxine says that Bonita is her favorite. She eats lunch with her everyday, which is a half-hour long so eat it here because you don't want to be late getting back from some restaurant, and besides there aren't any good restaurants around here anyway. Here's Bill who likes Elvis Presley so much he sings along with the Elvis songs when they come on the factory speakers. Maxine says after a while you know the tapes they play by heart and you can time out how far along you are in the shift based on the song. There's Ginny. Maxine says she's sweet but stupid and got herself knocked up and don't get involved with her because she's looking for a new daddy for her baby. Here's Joe. He used to be nice but then he became a supervisor and now thinks he's hot shit, but he's really just cold shit; "I don't talk to him unless I have to. Lucy, now she's been here longer than me. She's good, you want to get on a line with her; it'll run real well. Her dad's American and her mom's Chinese."

Bonita, sitting across the table, chimes in, "Korean."

"Korean, you sure?"

"Si, I thought she was Japanese, and I asked her about how they did sushi in Japan, and she told me she's Korean. Really, she's American. She was born here."

"Are you sure she isn't Chinese?"

"Whatever she is, she's cute," Jake thinks, taking a sip of free coffee.

The whistle blows again. Like dogs conditioned to drool, the workers shuffle from the breakroom back onto the floor where they go to different machines breaking the monotony of the evening into several different monotonies. This evening will be the same as any other here, each night virtually identical to the others, industrially-produced, mixed in a vat, deposited in a container, sealed in plastic and cardboard, dumped in a box, shipped somewhere to a store near you, your money or your life, money for your life, dripping away in the machinery of time until the universe says it's quitting time.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: Reading Is Fun From Left To Right (23 April 2012)

Just in from work, Masani leans in Francine's doorway and whispers, "Francine, go look at what Donald's doing downstairs."

"Hi, Masani! Sure! Why?" Francine says, getting up from the computer where she was instant messaging with Jake.

"Just do it please," Masani says, heading into her room.

Francine bops down the stairs to find Donald in the living room reading a book. She smiles as she passes him but he, caught up in reading, doesn't seem to notice her. She goes to the kitchen and opens up the refrigerator, stares inside, decides to throw out a jar of expired pickles, and heads back upstairs, where Masani awaits. "Did you see?" Masani says.

"He's reading. He always does that," Francine says, more puzzled than a jigsaw missing a piece.

"Look at what he's reading."

Francine shrugs and goes back downstairs. This time she says, "Hi, Donald, what are you reading?"

Donald who has been laughing, looks up, and sets his book down, "Oh, Francine, what was that?"

With the book closed, Francine can read the name of the book, Don Quixote by Cervantes, "Oh, I was asking what you were reading, but I see it's Don Quixote."

Masani who has tiptoed downstairs, chimes in, "Is that a new graphic novel adaptation?"

Donald looks over at her, "Hi, Masani. No, it's just a translation from Spanish into English. It's not even an illustrated version."

"Donald! You're reading a book without pictures? What's the occasion?" Masani says.

"It's not a comic book?" Francine says, "I've never seen you read a regular book."

Donald looks to the left and to the right at both of them, trying to read them, "Whoa! I just wanted to read a book. Since I cut back on my comic buying, I was out of comics, and I wanted to read something new."

"Isn't that book a few hundred years old?" Masani says, a twinkle in her eye.

"Well, it's new to me. I got it from my grandmother's books. It's pretty funny."

"Well, Donald, if you ever want to read any more books without pictures, then you're welcome to read any of mine. Anytime," Masani says.

"I bet," Francine says, while Masani flashes her a look that causes Francine to amend her utterance to, "I mean, I bet you'll find some good ones there."

"Thanks," Donald says, "The same goes for my comics. You remember how to read them without leaving fingerprints or otherwise damaging them, right?"

Francine and Masani sigh and nod.

"Well, Sugar, it's a good day to read because this just so happens to be World Book and Copyright Day," Masani says, "So I think I'll grab a book myself and join you."

"Is that a U.N. thing?" Francine says, "They're softening us up for one world government any way they can, eh, even through our fondness for reading? Like, who's going to be against books? It's like the good cop counterpart to the bad cop economic collapses designed to scare people into accepting globalization of everything."

Masani clears her throat, "Actually, I just think they're trying to promote reading. Remember, about 15% or more of the world is illiterate still, and many of the rest only have basic literacy skills. You want to join us?"

"I'm already literate, thanks, and I don't need the United Nations to encourage me to read, but what the hey? Sure, I will. I have this book about emus that I bought at the discount store a few weeks back," Francine says.

"Emus?" Masani says, "Is it Australian?"

"No, it's just weird. There's a toilet on the cover. Maybe the author wants us to read it in the bathroom."

"Well, reading is fun everywhere," Masani says.

Ignoring them, Donald has picked up his book and now rides a horse towards a windmill.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.

Blog Love Omega Glee: If We Save The Earth, Do We Have To Save All The Idiots On It Too Or Can We Just Let Them Die? (22 April 2012)

The hockey playoffs have arrived and in response Jake's dad's yells at the television have taken on a frequency and volume not heard since last year's playoffs. It is as if he no longer needs to conserve his hollering, since the end of the season approaches, and now he can run down his reserve of cheers, curses, groans, and pleas to "Shoot the damn puck already!" without concern of running out. Of course, each year the playoffs grow longer and what was once a winter sport now sees its championship series approach the summer solstice before ending, so Jake won't find complete relief for another month or two. Tonight he finds temporary solace though by leaving the house. His destination? Where else is there to go in Lackwood? Caffeine Eden.

The coffeehouse is crowded for a special Earth Day open mic poetry reading. Jake gets in line behind an affluent hetero couple who seem to be upset about something.

She (wearing a blue designer jacket with the name of the designer--Earl BooBoo--written largely all over it): I told you we should have gone to Starbucks! Now we have to listen to these hippies read their novels.

He (wearing black eyeglasses that have "Earl BooBoo" written on each of the frame ear pieces): Poetry. They're reading poetry. But you're right, it stinks probably more than they do.

Steve (working the counter, and wearing an apron stained with various caffeinated drinks, none of which were designed by Earl BooBoo): What can I do for you?

She (after standing in line for a couple minutes): Um, I don't know.

He (whipping out a credit card): Do you take credit?

Steve (making eye contact with Jake and apologizing for the wait with the roll of his eyeballs, while the couple bicker a bit about who should pay): Sure!

She: OK, I'm ready! I . . . want . . . a . . . um . . . uh . . . let's see . . . ooh! . . . well . . . no, I'm on a diet . . . OK . . . Strawberry Double Mocha Latte with whipped cream.

He: I just want a coffee.

Steve: OK, what kind?

He: Uh, just a coffee.

Steve: I'll give you our flavor of the day, which is Save The Rainforest, a shadegrown fair trade blend. Is that OK?

He: I guess. It doesn't taste weird, does it?

Steve: No, it's very good. Now, it is Earth Day and we're not using paper cups today in an effort to encourage our customers to reuse and recycle. Do you happen to have your own cups with you?

He and she (looking at one another with mouths dropping open in disdain): No!

She: Like why would I bring my own cup?

Steve: Um, to help the environment?

She: No, the environment can help itself. I'm tired of all these freeloaders in society. Besides, the world ends in 2012 so who cares about saving the earth? It's time to party.

He: Anyway, matter and energy can't be created nor destroyed, just transformed, so it doesn't matter to the universe whether something is a paper cup or a tree.

Steve: Doesn't it matter to us though? We can't just instantaneously convert matter to energy and vice versa. We have to be careful what we do. Anyway, I'm sorry we don't have paper cups tonight, but we do have our regular Caffeine Eden travel mugs and regular mugs for sale and you get a discount on your drinks every time you use them. Plus I bought a bunch of mugs and cups at the thrift store just for tonight and you can keep them when you're done. They're just a buck each.

She: The thrift store? Like Urban Outfitters?

Steve: No, a real thrift store. Our Lady Of The Cracked Pot around the corner.

He: You really expect us to pay to drink out of something someone else has drank out of before? Can't we just have some paper cups?

She: Let's just go. I'll use the GPS to find another coffeehouse that's cooler.

He: Sorry dude, I'm like not into waiting around, and I'm not into poetry, and I'm not into drinking out of old cups. I'm a modern kind of guy.

Steve (watching the couple turn and leave): Bye, modern kind of guy!

Jake (approaching the counter): Hi Steve! I'll just use my regular cup, and have some of that Save The Rainforest blend. So if we end up saving the earth, do we have to save people like that too?

Steve: We can always hope for mass extinctions of yuppies beforehand. It's better than mass extinctions of animal and plant species. Personally, I've always hoped that humanity would sensibly and voluntarily limit our reproduction by embracing homosexuality as the new norm, but it's probably going to be the collapse of industrial civilization, rampant disease, mass starvation, and war instead. Do you want room for cream and sugar tonight?

Jake: No, I'll take it black like the plague. Are any of those thrift store cups designed by Earl BooBoo? How about any of your coffee?

Steve: Jake, do you want to drink the coffee or wear it?

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.