Blog Love Omega Glee: Garage Sale Intellectual (7 August 2012)

While walking home from a visit to Purgatory this afternoon, Francine notices a sign for a garage sale on a side street. Unable to resist such a shopping opportunity so close by, she walks down the block to the next sign complete with a couple of red balloons tied to it. Down the driveway of a nice blue and white colonial, she finds an older white couple sitting in the shade of the garage. "Howdy!" the man says and the woman smiles, "Welcome to our garage sale!"

Francine greets them and checks out the tables full of clothing, jewelry, toys, household appliances, books, cds, knick-knacks, and just about anything else one might find in a house, including a stuffed moosehead. Francine gravitates to the books. Most are potboiler thrillers but she finds a few classics and other interesting texts. As she sifts through the books, she thinks about how much her education owes to garage sales and flea markets and used bookstores--well bookstores that sell used books; all bookstores are used--and the like. After her college days, the remainder of her education has been catch as catch can, trusting in the random zen of the universe to throw her a potpourri of ideas she needs when she needs them, most at half-price or less. It is the type of eclectic education unachievable otherwise, with no documentation or certification beyond a stack of books on a dusty shelf. Though some may sneer, Francine is quite happy to be a garage sale intellectual.

The sound of thunder interrupts her self-narrative and Francine sees that it's starting to rain, a quick, hard summer thunderstorm. She helps the couple carry the tables outside the garage under cover. In the crowded garage, Francine waits with the couple for the storm to pass. After perusing all the merchandise, Francine says, "Wow! You're selling a lot of stuff. Are you moving or something?"

The woman, an ashy blonde with darting eyes, says, "Yes, we're selling everything. We'll be out here all week, so please tell your friends. Everything's for sale except the house. That's already sold."

"It looks like your whole house is out here though. Don't you need any belongings for your new home?" Francine asks, waving her right hand over a stack of stuff.

"Oh, we're taking a cruise. We won't need much," the man, bald but bearded, says, picking up a stack of dollar bills from the cashbox, "We're cashing out before this stuff is worthless."

"The money?" Francine asks.

"Yepper. The way the govermint's printing it up and increasing the supply of it, we'll be using it for toilet paper soon. That's why you're smart to trade in some for those books. At least they're worth the paper they're printed on. The wife and I are going to cash in everything we have during the cruise."

"But won't you need some afterwards?" Francine crinkles her brow.

The man and woman look at one another. The woman says, "I hate to break it to you, Sweetie, but there ain't going to be no afterwards. The world's ending. That's why Austin and I are going on a cruise. We're going to live it up until December 21, and go out in style."

"You mean, you sold your house and you're selling your stuff because you think the world is going to end later this year?"

The man says, "Well, when you put it that way, it sounds a little crazy, but, yes, that's exactly what we're doing."

"We ain't crazy though. The world is coming apart. Why the other night I got up to use the bathroom and I looked out the window at my backyard and the devil was standing out there looking in at me. You should have seen the size of the horns on him. I screamed and he ran away. It's the endtimes for certain," the woman says, making the sign of the cross with her hands.

It certainly is time to end this conversation, Francine thinks, hoping for the downpour outside the garage to stop.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.