"Thanks again for letting me use this," Jake says, looking up from looking for work on Francine's computer in her room, "I didn't expect there'd be a meth lab house fire two doors down on the first day I was going to start looking for work."
"No problem. I still can't believe you were living next to a meth lab and didn't know it," Francine says, looking up from reading The Invisible Landscape by Dennis and Terence McKenna.
"Well, they always irritated Dad, but then everything does."
"How'd they irritate him?"
"They were always shooting off fireworks. Well, they must have shot off one too many because there was an explosion and their house caught on fire. When the fire department came, they found the meth equipment, but the people who lived there had split. Man, a fire even at some distance is really hot, but I guess the department had it under control. They were worried about chemical fumes, so they suggested that we, along with all the other neighbors, evacuate the neighborhood for the day. So Mom and Dad went to work and I came here. Thanks, Sweetie! I don't know what I would have done without you. I don't think Caffeine Eden would have let me take the cats inside," Jake says, petting Rudy, who is eagerly, like Monique, exploring everything in the room.
"Well, thank Donald as well. He's the one who's allergic to cats, so it was heroic of him to say it was OK."
"He should be fine as long as we keep them in here. I'm just glad they're out of their carriers. They wouldn't stop meowing on the way over here. I got serenaded in stereo. Other than that, they don't seem too freaked out so far."
"Maybe they're high on methamphetamine."
"Ha."
"Well, they have a food bowl, a water bowl, and a litter box, so they should have everything they need."
"Plus I think they're enjoying the change of scenery. They're sniffing everything in sight, and Monique's rubbing her cheek on everything to put her scent on it."
"Hmm . . . I wonder if the police are doing something similar in your house right now."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, the whole neighborhood's evacuated, right? Maybe they're looking for another meth lab, or just doing some old fashioned snooping."
"Why would they do that?"
"Why not? Because they can."
"Hummph! I would hope they have better things to do," Jake says, also hoping they don't find his porn stash.
"No offense, but I always thought the meth lab epidemic was a bit of a myth, a smokescreen by the Illuminati."
"A smokescreen?"
"Yes, I think they try to have people get obsessed with something like a celebrity murder or anything else that doesn't really matter in the big picture, so that people's attention will be diverted from the creepy things the Illuminati are doing like stealing people's rights by changing laws or messing around starting wars between countries to make money from both sides."
"I don't know. I know you believe in conspiracies and whatnot, but I've looked at some of those conspiracy theory websites and never been too impressed. They read too much into everything. How come the people that run those sites can detect a sinister conspiracy that no one else notices, yet none of them know how to spell?"
Just then, a pungent odor permeates the room.
Not answering Jake's question, Francine says, "Ugh! What is that?"
Jake notices Monique leaving the litter box. She cleans her paws on the side of Francine's mattress, but doesn't cover up the steaming fresh log she's just deposited.
Jake hurriedly moves to cover up the poop with litter, but stops and cries out, "Oh, no, I forgot to bring the litter scoop! Do you have something I can move the litter with?"
Francine raises her hands in perplexity and looks from side to side.
"Never mind, I'll just use these copies of my resume," Jake says, sticking some papers in the box and using them to move litter over the poop.
Francine laughs, "Jake, I've been meaning to tell you that your resume stinks."
"Ha! I don't know what's worse, working in a room with a litter box in it, or staying home and dealing with the meth fumes."
Coughing, Francine leaves the room, "I leave you to your work. Please keep an eye on the cats, as you promised, so they don't scratch up anything."
"Well, looks like it's just you and me, girls," Jake says to the cats.
Rudy gets in the litterbox and starts digging.
"Oh, no," Jake says, and goes and stands by the open window.
Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.
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