On a muggy Monday evening, Jake goes downstairs for a drink of water. His parents watch television in the living room. His dad flips through the channels and settles on a news program discussing the recently deceased actor Nar Cissus. Jake returns from the kitchen with a glass of water, takes a sip, and watches the screen. "They're still yapping about Nar Cissus? Didn't he die two weeks ago?" Jake says.
Wearing her reading glasses, Mom looks up from her magazine and says, "Well, you know they want to make sure he's dead. So they're going to beat him to death some more by continuing to cover his death for the next few weeks."
Dad leans back in his recliner and says, "It always amazes me how these dead celebrities go from scum to saint overnight. Here's a guy who was a drunk, a drug addict, a chain smoker, a womanizer, probably a child molester, made basically bad action movies, and whom everyone had nearly forgotten, but now that he's dead, he's a saint and the media want us to wonder how we're all going to go on without him."
"Now, Fred, let's not speak ill of the dead," Mom says.
"Why not? That's the best time. Then they can't sue you for slander."
"I'm just sick of hearing about him," Jake says, "What else is there to say? He's dead. Tomorrow he's still going to be dead. It's not like he's going to come back to life and die again."
"Well, reporting old news saves the media companies money. Otherwise they'd have to do some more reporting and come up with some new stories, and that takes some work and costs some money, and they're cheap and lazy," Mom says.
"Well, at least it's giving us a break from the presidential race. I'm pretty sick of hearing about that too," Jake says.
"I don't know. I can't get enough of seeing that Kitty O'Couscous," Dad says, grinning.
"Oh, Fred, please. I can't believe people want to make a porn star president. This country has hit a new low," Mom says.
"Well, she's better than Dick or Polipo," Dad says.
"I'm sure she is better at doing some things," Jake says, "But I don't know if that makes her qualified to be the president."
"Hey, politicians have been screwing the citizens of this country for years. It's only fair that the people of this country can finally screw one of the politicians," Dad says.
Mom says, "Oh, that new fundraiser of hers is disgusting."
"What are you talking about?" Jake asks.
"You know how some politicians will have a dinner fundraiser where if you pay a thousand bucks extra or whatever then you get to take a picture with them as well?" Mom asks.
"Yeah," Jake says.
"'Yes,'" Dad says, "You send them to college and they still can't speak English."
"Enough, Fred, don't interrupt me," Mom sputters, "So, O'Couscous is doing something similar, except instead of getting your picture with her, you get to appear in her latest adult movie."
"Oh, geez," Jake says, "I'll have to tell Francine about this. She probably knows about it already though."
"It certainly gives a new meaning to the term 'campaign contributions' and looks to inflate her war chest, that is if she hasn't inflated it already with breast implants," Dad says.
Jake groans at the puns and says, "I wonder if her campaign ads will be X-rated too."
"By the way, did you find a job yet?" Dad says.
"Fred!" Mom says, "You just asked him that at dinner. Did you really think he found a job since then?"
"Uh, I'm still looking," Jake says, and slips upstairs, while his parents start to argue about politics, and why Jake hasn't found a job yet. Back upstairs he does indeed look. But not for a job.
On his computer, he looks at some pictures of Kitty O'Couscous.
Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.
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