After Jacob And The Angel won the tag team tournament, fan interest in the tag team division in the WWWWWW increased. To keep the heat on, a new tag team has been introduced, but they're an odd couple. Jake logs onto the WWWWWW website to see a video promo by the new pair: The Optimist And The Pessimist.
The video starts with manager/valet H.C. Beaver coming out to introduce them. Wearing a sling to nurse her broken elbow, she nonetheless looks fabulous in her synthetic black fur shawl. She looks the viewer in the eye and says, "Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased as punch and keen as kick to introduce to you my latest discovery. These fellows are going to strike tag team gold for me; I just know it. First, here's The Optimist!"
A clean-cut Latino wrestler steps into the frame. Shirtless, he flexes for the camera, and then points at it: "Thank you, H.C.! I am confident that we will do just as our manager says, and earn victory after victory, all the way to the championship!"
H.C. introduces his partner, "And, now, The Pessimist."
A white wrestler with a scraggly growth of red beard and wearing a torn black t-shirt slouches into the frame. He carries a bottle of water, and says to H.C., "I asked that guy for a drink of water, and he gave me this. Look it's half-empty. Somebody's been drinking out of it."
"You know, you could look at that as half-full and that someone has done you the favor of already opening the bottle and sampling it for you to make sure that it's all right," The Optimist tells him.
"Man, it's half-empty. Nothing goes right for me. I don't even know how we got here. We're not going to win against any of these guys. We're never going to get a title shot. We're going to get our . . ."
H.C. cuts him off, "What The Pessimist means to say is he's stunned by their rapid rise to the top of the wrestling industry, and is humble that they are now in the elite of the tag team division."
The Optimist chimes in, "That's right! We're looking forward to some new competition because the old competition couldn't ever beat us. Isn't that right, partner!"
He slaps The Pessimist across the chest. The Pessimist shrugs and says, "We got lucky a lot. I think we only got this far so we could be humiliated on national television. God hates me, I think."
H.C. says, "I'll take it from here, boys! So, Jacob And The Angel, we're coming for you, so you better get ready. Enjoy those championship belts while you can!"
"I'm going to go make room in my suitcase for the belt right now!" The Optimist says and walks out of camera range.
The Pessimist shakes his head and says, "That guy's on crack. Today's going to suck, I know it."
"That's right. It's going to suck for our opponents when we get in the ring with them," H.C. says, flashing The Pessimist a dirty look, and then pushing him out of the camera frame.
She finishes the promo alone, "Is the glass half-empty or half-full? When The Optimist And The Pessimist are in the ring with you, you'll be too busy getting pinned to worry about it!"
After watching the promo, Jake feels thirsty.
Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.
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