Blog Love Omega Glee: The Key To Your Heart Doesn't Work In This Deadbolt (15 June 2012)

"Wait, you can get locked inside your apartment? How is that even possible?" Jake asks brown-haired Chris in the backyard of Purgatory.

Chris sets down her coffee on the table and makes motions with her hands, "Well, the deadbolt works from the outside, but on the inside, instead of being a little knob for it, is another keyhole, except that keyhole doesn't work."

Francine watches with amusement as Jake tries to understand, "Wait, so you can't actually use the deadbolt when you're inside the apartment, but you can lock it from the outside?"

Chris picks her coffee back up, takes a sip, and continues, "Well, technically, we could use the deadbolt while we were inside the apartment but one of us would have to go down the stairs, out the front of the apartment building, walk around the building, climb the stairs to our backdoor, lock the deadbolt, and then go back down the stairs, around the building, go inside the front of the building, and go back up the stairs to our apartment."

"Wait, that would mean if you used the deadbolt, then you'd be locked in your apartment, at least from the back door?" Jake says, as he scratches his head.

"Yes, which is why we never used it, except when we'd both leave."

"So, how'd you get locked inside your apartment today?"

"Well, Chris left, and through force of habit he locked the deadbolt, forgetting I was still inside, so when I went to leave out the back door, I couldn't get out, so I had to go out the front door. You see, usually he leaves after me, but I had the day off today and he forgot."

"Wait, isn't that a fire hazard? I mean if you were locked inside because of the back door and there was a fire in the front of the apartment, what would you do?"

"Probably burn to death."

"And the landlord won't fix this?"

"Well, that would cost him money. He likes the part where money comes in, but not when it goes out, so he makes sure it seldom ever goes out."

"Wait, can't you sue him or something?"

"Well, to be honest, the maintenance man showed up a few times to fix it, but every time he did, he said he needed to get a part and he'd be right back, and then a few weeks would go by before we'd see him again, and then he'd just look at the lock again and say he needed to get a part and the cycle started over. Plus, he got fired over the winter and they haven't hired anyone else yet."

"What did he get fired for? Not doing anything?"

"Well, he did do things, just not the things he was supposed to. For example, he stole the lawnmower and twelve ceiling fans."

"Twelve ceiling fans? What do you do with twelve ceiling fans?"

"Cool off a lot. Plus he stole the snowblower early in the winter so the walks were never cleared of snow."

"Wow! That sucks if you wanted to go anywhere during the winter."

"It was all right. I was unemployed, so I was locked in the apartment a lot of the winter anyway."

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.