Blog Love Omega Glee: Capitalization And The Class System (22 June 2012)

A new pamphlet has turned up, this time in Clinton, Iowa. On an odd subject, how language functions to program people ideologically, this pamphlet is thought by many observers to not be written by the author of the other pamphlets. However, Francine thinks it is. She notes that the term "pop" is used in a wrestling sense, at least according to Jake. Entitled "Capitalization And The Class System," the pamphlet reads:

"Some of you have objected to our writing style, particularly our capitalization of the little words in the titles. According to the customary fashion, words that are prepositions, conjunctions, and articles are not capitalized in titles unless one is the first word of a title. We have neglected to follow this custom because we feel for the little words. They are hard working words. Why shouldn't they get the same respect as words that are nouns, verbs, pronouns, and the like? Therefore, we capitalize all the words in the titles to these publications, treating all the words equally. Now, some say this makes our titles confusing, but we don't find this to be the case. Putting some words in a title in upper case and some in lower case is merely a convention, but it's a sinister convention. It is a replication of the class system in our society, where some people matter more than others, measured of course by money. This ideological underpinning of our society has wormed its way into our grammatical stylings, where it helps to perpetuate the class system. It tells us that some words are more important than others. Some get capitalized whereas others don't. But we believe in equality and that all the words deserve an equal pop for the hard work each does to establish meaning. Think about it! Where would a title be if all the little words went on strike, if they revolted, if they rebelled, if they refused to accept their second class status? The title would be meaningless! It would be gibberish! War And Peace would be War Peace. What the hell does that even mean? Or Gone With The Wind would be Gone Wind, which sounds like a strange type of wind. In either case, the meaning is lost. Think of Hemingway's Across The River And Into The Trees. It would be River Trees without the little words, and people would think it was written by The Arbor Day Foundation instead! We need those little words! And our society needs the little people who keep it running. But those people deserve respect! They need to be capitalized too! They need capital, in fact! Note the uncanny similarity between capitals as in letters, capital as in money, and capital as in government leadership. This is by design! We may think of language as a tool, but we are also used by language. Those who run our society know this, and take advantage of it. Language programs us, so by making a "rule" or a "law" or a "standard" that not all the words in a title need be capitalized, those who run our society are seeking to instill subconsciously in us the idea that some things matter more than others. This idea when transferred over to human beings takes root as the idea that some human beings are better than others, with the result being the perpetuation of our class system, where some people are favored over others in our society, a society that is supposed to be directed at the proposition that all people are equal; instead it is directed at the preposition that large words are more important than other words. Confucius wisely noted that if you wanted to make a good society that you should first direct your attention at the language and make sure the names were correct, because if they were, then the language would be truthful, and if the language were truthful, then human affairs could be carried on without confusion, and so on. Well, we would extend Confucius's wisdom to also how we capitalize those names. Let us start there and then we shall have the beginning of a just society. Furthermore, this back and forth between upper and lower case in titles serves as a pitfall for the unprivileged in our society. The rich with the privilege of their education know such a silly and arbitrary convention, just as they have mastered all the arcane and subtle variations of useless table manners. However, the children of the lower classes may not know this convention, and even if taught it, they quite sensibly would note that it lacks common sense and offends their inborn sense of justice, but, as the children make their way in society, they will either have to conform or be caught out as those who lack capital. One is taught that one must oppress others or be oppressed. But this is a false dilemma! It is quite simpler to extend the benefits of capitalization on all the words in a title. Forgive us for lapsing into aesthetics, but we think it looks better as well! Therefore, it is capital that we must uniform capitalization to allow all of our society an equal chance at the championship titles of life."

Francine wonders what the pamphlet writer thinks of semicolons; she's always been suspicious of them.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.