Blog Love Omega Glee: The Top Of The Bottom And The Bottom Of The Top (19 May 2012)

The tag team tournament for the vacant championship continues this week on Grapple Groove. The Pettifoggers have succeeded in getting entered into the tournament and wait in the ring for their surprise opponents: another last minute addition necessary for the orderly reconfiguration of the tournament. The entrance music starts in the arena, ushering in sounds of whipping, flogging, paddling, scratching, smacking, and other painful ings and things.

The crowd stands and cheers. It's the long-awaited return of Top And Bottom, everyone's favorite pair of bondage freaks. Out for a month after a serious nipple clamp injury occurred to Bottom during an erotic asphyxiation incident, the team likes to wear black leather, chains, clamps, and other things that would seem to make everyday activities such as walking difficult, let alone wrestling. They come down the entrance ramp with Bottom in front on all fours being walked with a leash around his neck by Top, who occasionally smacks Bottom on his bottom with a paddle when he stops too long to get affectionately slapped by a fan on the side of the ramp.

In the ring, The Pettifoggers put their hands on their heads in disgust. No one likes to wrestle an opponent who enjoys pain. Victor Verdict picks up a microphone and points at Bottom, "Objection! Is that man medically cleared to return to the ring? I don't want to have any liability issues later on."

Bottom pulls the ball gag out of his mouth as he stands up and gives the referee a piece of paper he had been holding in his mouth. The referee unfolds it with disgust.

Felix Fatality, the television announcer, says to his partner Steve Dore, "Steve, I prefer to keep my medical documents in a file folder myself."

"Well, Felix, Top And Bottom are a different breed," Steve says.

"Speaking of different breed, do you remember that tag team from the eighties called The New Breed?"

"I don't, Felix, that was a bit before my time."

"I just was wondering what happened to them because if they were still around, they'd be The Old Breed now."

"A punch drunk moment, eh? Well, nothing new stays new forever, Felix. Speaking of which, the action in the ring has begun. Stuart Subpoena is punching Bottom and Bottom appears to be enjoying it."

"Well, only so much. Now, Bottom wants to tag out but Top is refusing to tag him."

"Those two have an odd working relationship. They are an unorthodox tag team to say the least."

"Didn't they use to wrestle in pornographic movies?"

"Yes, that's indeed how they started."

"I watched one the other night in my hotel room."

"Really, Felix?"

"Well, you know, there's not a lot else to do in Omaha on a Thursday. That's a fine town though, no disrespect intended. But, also, I had heard Top And Bottom were coming back and wanted a look at their earlier work."

"How was their performance?"

"It was fine, but . . . well, let's put it this way, Steve, there were unusual stipulations in the match of the nature that you won't even see in a hardcore match here."

"It's a different kind of hardcore. Speaking of hardcore tag team wrestling. Vic Verdict had just put Bottom in a submission maneuver and Top made a blind tag."

"Well, Bottom's a submissive, right? Top was probably afraid he would tap out."

"Well, that and he had left the poor guy in there for the entire match. That's not your usual strategy in tag team wrestling. That's more like a handicap match."

"Speaking of handicaps, what is Top wearing into the ring? Is that what I think it is?"

"That is what you think it is. Vic Verdict is running away. The referee's spotted it too and he's calling for the bell."

"It looks like Top And Bottom are being disqualified. Can I even say what for?"

"If they're showing it, then you can say it. I didn't know this either folks because . . ." Steve coughs, ". . . it's never come up as an issue before tonight, but apparently you can't wear a strap-on dildo into the ring because it qualifies as an illegal foreign object."

Watching at home, Jake realizes that the ratings must be down because when the ratings dip for Grapple Groove, the raunch goes up.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.