"He needs to relax," Francine thinks as the phone rings yet again. Jake keeps calling Francine, every twenty minutes it seems, whenever they're not together and he isn't at work or sleeping. Half of her finds this delightful since it means he misses her and half of her finds this annoying since it also means that she can never get anything done without being interrupted in the middle of it. She's not quite sure which half will answer the phone this time so she lets the voicemail handle it, and goes back to working on her blog. She finds that a link to her post about CIA poetry has been placed on Sherry Serenity's blog, Pursuing Happiness, Catching It, And Then Hogtying It To Make Sure It Doesn't Get Away Again.
Sherry's blog is vaguely new agey and she fancies herself a guru on offering how to live advice. She often seems to leapfrog onto Francine's blog posts in her constant effort to find something new to write about and generate web traffic. She really gets on Francine's nerves, but she seems nice so Francine doesn't say, er, blog anything about her.
Her response to Francine's blog post reads, "I wouldn't doubt that the CIA is using underground avant garde poetry to communicate in code. This is so sad that an art form, a work of beauty, is being turned into a tool for domination and destruction. This world would be so much better off if people would mellow out . . ."
Having read many of Sherry's posts before, Francine feels this is about the right place for Sherry to mention Wilhelm Reich.
" . . . Wilhelm Reich had it right when he said the world was in the grip of sexual repression. We need to release this tension. If people would masturbate more often, then we'd have world peace. People would be much kinder if they weren't always walking around sexually frustrated . . ."
Francine smells a Sherry suggestion to stick a finger up an asshole coming up.
". . . All of this stems from a bourgeois, socially-conditioned fear of nature, of one's own body. When one isn't comfortable with one's own body, one is sure not to value the body of another, leading to such crimes against nature as exploitation, murder, robbery, rape, and war. For example, how many people are afraid to stick their fingers up their anus? Here's something that's with us every day, yet we're afraid of our own bodies and find them disgusting. The asshole is your friend. Where would you be without your asshole? That's right. Full of shit. So embrace your anus. Go ahead and stick your finger up your ass. Don't be afraid. It'll feel good. Be gentle and use lubrication if you have to, but you'll be amazed how good it feels. You'll be glad you did it and you'll thank me later, but please wash your hands first before shaking mine."
"Who knew that we were all sitting on the secret of world peace?" Francine thinks, "No wonder we couldn't find it for all these years."
Francine picks up the telephone to call Jake back. She's found a new way for him to relax.
Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.
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