Francine turns over on her mattress, and, as she lifts her head, she notes that her pillowcase is stained with her latest dyejob. Her sleepyhead is a brunette again. Morning light from the windows peeps around the blinds and Francine pulls up the blankets to block it out. Birds chirp.
"Please chirp somewhere else, birds," Francine says as she yawns and turns over again.
She tries to get back to her dream where she was hiking across the country with a tribe of native Americans. They were a postmodern nation of discarded advertising mascots, who had networked online to form a new discourse community united in victimization and based on spite and the desire for revenge against the corporate culture that had wronged them. After their runs in the spotlight, no one would hire them, and some had been unemployed for decades. They were all dispossessed and most had the vague stench of failure, blamed in some cases for their company's demise. "I can still cook a great burger," Burger Chef told Jeff, "Why won't anybody give me a chance?"
Jeff nodded. He'd heard it all before. Joe Camel lit another cigarette and sighed. Betty The Broom swept up the ashes behind him, and muttered under her breath about being tired of cleaning up after everyone else. Their hike, a protest against their abandonment by the rest of society, came to a halt when they found some cars and started driving them along the beach and then into the sea. After so long a trek, they needed to blow off some steam, especially Timmy The Teakettle ("If it's not Timmy's, it's not tea, but if it's Timmy's, then that's tea!"). The cars didn't work so well in the water, and they kept stalling out. Gus The Get Up And Go Gas Goat had tried to warn them, but as usual no one listened to him, so he kicked a tin can in frustration and then ate it and he felt much better about things. When Francine woke up, they were all figuring out what to do now.
To get back to the dream, she tries to think of Corny The Rooster, but he keeps crowing, and she can't get back to the cartoon limbo of American capitalism. From thoughts of the collective past, she moves to her individual future, and thinks about the Meet The Nutjobs blog conference this weekend. She wonders if people will be different in person from their online personas. Sometimes that was the case, and a firebreather online turned out to be sparkless face to face. Some of them seemed like they only knew how to communicate electronically as well, and having a conversation with them was torture. Some would keep fiddling with their cell phones and notebook computers, and she wondered why they even bothered to come physically when they clearly weren't there mentally. Others though were great, and their blog was just an extension of their personality, which was even better in meatspace than it was virtually.
Francine wonders what Jake will be like. Will he be as funny in real life as he was on his blog? Will he look like a wrestler? From the few pictures of him she's been able to dig up online, he seems like he'll be cute. Hmm . . . cute, that Columbo Coffeebean was pretty sexy in a Latin lover sort of way. Francine's right hand wanders down under her wear, as she finds an even better way than coffee to start her day.
Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.
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