"Dude, I can't believe tonight was your last training session. You're actually going to leave me alone with Lew 'Life of the Party' Zsyrjba? He's going to kill me," North says, getting up to buy another beer.
Jake and North have come after wrestling class to Friendship 7 Space Capsule, a bar named after the tin can astronaut John Glenn floated around the Earth in. Unlike the original capsule, this one has restrooms so patrons don't have to wear diapers while inside as Glenn did on his whirl around the world. The bar continues the space theme in its decor which is futuristic, or at least a 1960s idea of what the future would be like, with bright red vinyl booths, white walls, pictures of the cosmos placed in strategic places, and exposed pipes wrapped in shiny foil. The bar is composed of two rooms, one with the actual bar and the other with the booths and little white round tables with matching white puffy chairs. Jake and North sit at one of the tables. Like the capsule it's named after, the bar is a bit cramped and patrons nearly sit on top of one another when the place is full, which on this Thursday night is growing to be the case. They came here because a) it's on the way home, and b) North has a crush on Kelli the bartender. He drinks more heavily than usual just so he can keep having excuses to talk with her.
When North returns with yet another beer, Jake says, "I know, I'm sorry, man, my new job starts next week and it's second shift."
"That sucks, dude. I thought we were going to be a tag team."
A twentysomething white woman wearing a lowcut black top at the next table turns around and leans toward Jake and North. She holds a martini glass which sloshes around, spilling about half of it on their table. Being sloshed herself, she doesn't appear to notice, and points at North's shirt, which reads "If you're partying, don't forget your lampshade. Zsyrjba Professional Wrestling School." "Hey," she says, then pauses.
Jake and North look at one another, then at the woman, who has medium-length brown hair, and smeared mascara. "Hi," they say.
"Hey," she says again, continuing to point at North's shirt.
She pushes her finger forward and jabs it into North's chest, "Are you guys into professional wrestling?"
Jake and North look at one another, shrug, and nod.
"Yes, in fact, we're training . . . " North says, before the woman cuts him off with "That's for little kids, why don't you guys grow up? It's no wonder I can't find a man. They're either gay or still little boys."
"Uh," Jake says, "Actually wrestling is an art form worthy of appreciation for all ages. True, sometimes the promoters tilt things a bit to appeal to children in hopes of selling them toys and getting the family to buy tickets to see it live, but it's still a combination of theater and sport. It's sort of like a violent ballet."
The woman looks at Jake open-mouthed, then closes her mouth and says, "Whatever."
She turns to North, "I've been here since happy hour, and I'm pretty happier now, but I still can't understand why you like to watch men grope one another. Wrestling is sssstupid."
"Well, Jake and I don't just like to watch. We're wrestlers ourselves," North says, then finishes his latest beer.
The drunk woman continues to jab North in the chest and says, "Wrestlers, huh? It's fake. I bet I can kick your ass myself."
She stands up, puts up her fists in a boxing pose, then falls over into Jake's lap and vomits on the floor.
"Great," Jake says, picking her up and putting her in an empty chair at their table.
"Maybe some other time, I don't feel so good right now," she says, slumping over on the table.
"I told you we should have gone to Caffeine Eden instead," North says, using a napkin to clean up a bit of puke on his pants.
"No way, dude!" North says, "If you're quitting training then I'm going to be a solo wrestler, and I think I just found my valet! I'll call her 'Ms. Mess'!"
Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.
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