They were practicing dropkicks last night at wrestling training when North accidentally kicked Jake too hard in the mouth and a piece of a tooth fell out onto the mat. So, today Jake heads to the dentist, who has kindly agreed to squeeze Jake in among his many other patients. Jake waits in the waiting room, reading an issue of Newnews with F.A.T.A.S.S. on the cover (the caption reads "The First Three Letters In 'Diet' Spell 'Die'!"). Jake looks inside for pictures of Maximilian Mounds, but he doesn't see any. Most of the article just seems to involve quotations from government officials about how they are making stopping F.A.T.A.S.S. an extra large priority. The article does cover F.A.T.A.S.S.'s latest exploit of a guerilla raid on a teen weight loss summer camp, where they rounded up some more recruits for their cause of fat rights.
"Jake?" the dental assistant says, and Jake sets down the magazine on the coffeetable and follows her into the back. Once on the dentist's chair, Jake waits some more. He passes some time staring at the intricacy of the dental equipment manufacturer's logo ("The Chief of Teeth, Chicago, Illinois") in front of him on the thing that sprays water, shines lights, and powers various drills, before musing that the loss of part of his tooth is the second sign he's had lately to push him in the direction of giving up on being a wrestler. The first was the news that he got the job at the cosmetics factory, but he'll be working second shift and won't be able to train with North anymore under Lew "Life of the Party" Zsyrjba. He could see if Lew had any classes during the day or weekend, but Jake isn't sure he wants to train without North, who probably wouldn't be able to take classes then. Besides, it might be for the best. As much as he's always loved wrestling, and as much as he'd like to impress Francine and other women by being a professional wrestler, a week or two of getting beaten with a lampshade by his teacher has made him reconsider his aspirations. North, by contrast, seems gung ho about continuing, so Jake isn't quite sure how to break the news to him that Jake will be quitting wrestling training.
A snap of a rubber glove snaps Jake out of his reverie. Dr. Maxilla, an older, swarthy man wearing blue scrubs and a white coat, smiles, displaying his very white, amazing teeth (it's always confidence inspiring to have a dentist with good teeth), and says, "Hello, Jake. I understand you had a little problem."
Jake hands Dr. Maxilla, who sits down across from him on a stool, a little plastic baggie with his tooth fragment inside, and explains what happened (though he leaves out any mention of being beaten with a lampshade). Dr. Maxilla looks at the fragment, and then inside Jake's mouth. "Ah!" Dr. Maxilla says, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I don't think that dropkick did any serious damage, though I would caution you to wear a mouthguard if you're going to continue wrestling. The bad news is the reason part of the tooth fell out is because your wisdom teeth are coming in and your #32, that's your mandibular third molar, is growing into and grinding into your #31, which is your mandibular second molar. That's causing some damage, I'm afraid, and that fragment was ready to come out. The dropkick probably just gave it the final jolt it needed to come loose."
Dr. Maxilla sits back, "You're probably going to need your wisdom teeth removed before they cause any more damage."
"Oh, boy," Jake says, "And I was looking forward to getting wise."
Dr. Maxilla chuckles, "I'll take a closer look, and then we can make you an appointment with the oral surgeon."
Jake leans back, and says, "Say, are you a member of the American Dental Association?"
Dr. Maxilla nods, and Jake continues, "I overheard some old men in the coffee shop saying that the ADA actually stood for 'Always Deny Ascendancy' and the dentists controlled the president in some sort of conspiracy. I thought you'd find that funny."
Dr. Maxilla puts a needle into Jake's mouth, and Jake feels a pinch of pain. As he takes the needle out, he says, "What's that, Jake? I'm sorry I was concentrating on administering this new, amazingly-quickacting anesthesia so what you said didn't register."
Jake says, his facial muscles drooping, "I shaid I overhearrrd ssssome old me tahhhkkking i ah cawfee ssshop . . . I'm shoorry, I'm havin trouble forrmin wahrs. Boy, tha ish shome quickahktin anahsheshahh!"
"That's OK, Jake," Dr. Maxilla says, "I'm sure whatever you were saying wasn't that important anyway, though I appreciate the fact that you try to chit-chat with me. Now, have you been brushing regularly?"
Jake, giving up on speaking, nods.
"Good boy! Now don't forget to floss too. It's also an important component of overall dental hygiene."
Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.
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