Blog Love Omega Glee: How Dunkin Charles Funds His Crack Habit (9 April 2012)

Chris and Chris drop into Purgatory for open mic night. So does Francine. While impassioned high schoolers try to be 21st Century Bob Dylans, the Chrises tell Francine more of their story. Chris, the blonde male, says, "So, did we ever finish telling you the story of our old apartment?"

"I think last time I saw her, I told her about the keys," Chris, the brunette female, says.

Francine nods.

Chris says, "Oh, lordy, we had a million keys for that place."

"We soon found out why though," the other Chris says.

"Oh, yes."

"It was a high crime neighborhood."

"Because of poverty, not race."

"Which I didn't understand because if you're going to steal from somebody, why not steal from somebody rich instead of somebody poor?"

"Because the cops protect the rich, but not the poor. Plus, if you're a thief you're probably poorer so you're going to steal from who is around you, which is other poor people. Rich people are rich; they don't need to steal."

"Well, they have more sophisticated ways of doing it, so they don't engage in street crime. They just skim off the top of the pension fund or something."

Francine just sips her coffee and listens to the Chrises.

"But, anyway, we had only been in that apartment for a couple weeks when we woke up one morning and found Chris's car window had been smashed."

"They stole a few cds and a bottle of perfume."

"We found out later that we had gotten off lucky because the same thieves stole six cars from our block alone that night. For whatever reason, they must not have been able to steal Chris's car so they just took what they could get and ran. We also understood then why everybody else in the apartment building--all four of them--parked on the street out front and nobody parked in the garages out back. We were wondering about that, but now we understood. The streetlights still worked out front. The back of the apartment building was good for stargazing and theft."

"At least they didn't steal much. Chris called around the few remaining record stores and many remaining pawn shops in the area and found the cds. The store gave the crooks $7 for them. The store also gave us the seller's information. His name was Dunkin Charles, and we had his driver's license information, thanks to the apologetic store."

"They even gave us our cds back."

"But it was a hassle to give the information to the police. We called the dispatcher and she wouldn't take the information. She couldn't even tell us which police district headquarters we should go to, as we had to go in person to file a report according to her. She said, 'If it's not the 4th, go the 5th.' You'd think a dispatcher would know what district we were in."

"That's Cleaveland though. She probably didn't know how to read a map, but got the job because she was some city council member's cousin."

"We went to the wrong station first, but we finally gave the information to the police. However, the cop who interviewed us at the right station clearly couldn't give a shit, and treated us like we were a bother."

"She kept trying to watch the football game on the television behind us while we were giving her the information. Only during the commercials would she really pay attention to us."

"So once it was clear we were on our own, we called up the landlord and complained because he told us it was a safe neighborhood, which clearly wasn't the case."

"He wouldn't let us out of our lease, but he let us switch buildings across the Square, where he said it was safer. I was skeptical, but his brother and partner was a lawyer and I didn't feel like being sued for the amount of an entire year's lease."

"So as we were moving out that weekend, a police car came by and interviewed us. They were responding to our call to the dispatcher from days ago. What a disorganized department! These cops were nice, but they were way late, and didn't even know we already had been to see the police."

"Months later we got a call from a detective, and went in for another interview. Apparently, Dunkin Charles and his friends had crossed into Believer Heights and gotten arrested. Now Cleaveland was building a case against them too. They stole about a hundred more cars in the subsequent months since they robbed us."

"And that was just the stuff the cops knew about. I'm sure there was more. Most people in Cleaveland probably don't even bother to call the cops when stuff like that happens. No wonder it's hard to escape poverty in the ghetto. What's the point of working hard for something nice if someone is just going to steal it from you?"

"Imagine, all of the robberies that could have been stopped the day we called, if the police had followed-up on the information we gave them."

"At least they got him. He and his friends were crackheads and were stealing to fund their habit. They all went to prison, but they're already back out."

"Lock your car," Chris says, "I recommend The Club as well."

"I recommend if you want to commit crimes, then commit them in Cleaveland," the other Chris says, "The suburbs apparently still have competent police forces."

When Francine walks home that night, before she goes inside the house, she checks on her car. It's still there, and no windows are broken. She wonders whose car Dunkin Charles is stealing tonight.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.