Blog Love Omega Glee: An Easter Smile (8 April 2012)

Last night was Jake's final shift at WCYA. He is now unemployed. Jake should be depressed. He sleeps smiling.

He didn't qualify for unemployment because the government official said he hadn't worked at WCYA long enough. So now he'll have to look for a job right away. He sleeps smiling.

His dad comes into his bedroom this morning because the cats keep sneaking into Jake's closet and his dad is worried they will poop in there. Dad yells at the cats, frightening them into retreating ever deeper into Jake's closet until finally Dad starts taking things out of the closet and muttering that Jake has too much stuff, all of which makes a tremendous racket while Jake is trying to sleep. Finally, the cats bolt out of the closet and Dad puts all the stuff back, muttering again that Jake has too much stuff and he doesn't know how much longer he can put up with the cats since he knows someday they will poop in Jake's closet. Jake still tries to sleep smiling.

The reason the cats sneak into Jake's room is because Dad took off the doorknob and used it for the basement door to replace one that broke. He promised to replace it, but it's been a week now, and Jake knows if he wants a doorknob then he will probably have to go buy one and install it himself. Since Jake is slightly allergic to cats he tried to keep them out of the room at night while he slept, but now this is impossible since they just push on the door from the outside with their front paws and it glides open. Jake tried putting a book or something as a doorstop to keep the door closed but the cats somehow always managed to push the door open a crack and squeeze through. Jake tried piling up more books, but the cats still broke in, only now it would be accompanied by a mess when the pile collapsed, so finally Jake just gave up, and the cats come and go as they please while he sleeps just as they do while he's awake. Except now, Dad has begun monitoring them, afraid they will poop in the closet. Dad could just put a doorknob on the door, and, of course, the cats could have done this during the day at any time when Jake was awake and let them in the room, but wasn't paying attention to them, or left the room and left the door open, but, never mind all that, Dad has decided instead to play poop patrol. Perhaps this is because he has given up on toilet training the cats, and now that anal energy must be sublimated elsewhere. Sometimes Jake thinks his dad is a big cat and this is a game the three cats like to play, like when Monique chases Rudy around the house and vice versa. With the doorknob gone, all is not bad though. On the bright side, the cats don't sit outside his door and meow when he's trying to sleep anymore. On the dark side, they now meow right in his face when they want food. In fact, Rudy climbs up on the bed now and puts a paw on Jake's face and meows. Jake rolls over and sleeps smiling.

When Jake wakes up it will be Easter, and his mom will have bought enough candy to keep a dental practice going, even though Jake is not a huge candy fan like he was when he was a kid. Jake's mom still thinks he is a kid though, just a bigger version of one than he used to be, and he still likes the same things he liked as a kid even though he really doesn't anymore. The new baseball cards are out, and there will be a pack in Jake's Easter basket, but he hasn't liked baseball since he was fourteen or so, when he switched his allegiance definitely to wrestling, like choosing a religious faith from the pantheon of sport. Then Jake will gently remind Mom that he really doesn't need all the candy or baseball cards and she should save her money, or maybe buy him something, if she has to buy him something, that he does like, but this will result in a major fight when Dad chimes in complaining about Mom buying too many things in general, and there's too much stuff in the house, and they spend too much money, and Mom will cry, and Dad will stomp off, and they will forget the Easter ham in the stove, which will burn until someone rescues it from the oven, and this will initiate another fight, until finally they all make up and grumble through another Easter dinner. It's no wonder Winifred hasn't come home for Easter in years. It's like a ritual reenacted every year. Still, even knowing all this awaits him, Jake sleeps smiling.

For you see, or, if you don't see, hear, or, if you don't see or hear, feel, or if you don't see, hear, or feel, then unless they've invented smelling literature or tasting literature by the time you "read" this, you're out of luck buddy and probably won't be reading this anyway, after a couple days delay during which Jake felt miserable, Francine emailed him back and said that she'd love to trade links and she liked his blog. Jake checked his email obsessively, and found her reply last night during his dj shift. "The rest of the world can go to hell for all I care. Francine emailed me!" Jake thinks, smiling in his thoughts, and probably on his face as well, he thinks.

He wakes up, smiling. But in the afternoon light, his smile disappears. "What am I going to say back when I reply?" Jake worries.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.