Having trouble in his shift from being a nocturnal to a diurnal creature, Jake still wakes up late in the afternoon. Peace in the empty house, so plentiful during the daylight hours while Jake sleeps, disappears with the arrival of his parents home from work. Today, Jake times his departure well, and escapes the house before they arrive, heading for his home away from home of Caffeine Eden.
When he arrives, the coffeehouse is mostly empty, but Tom and Larry are there. Leaning on the counter, Adam does a crossword puzzle. He greets Jake, and Jake orders a cup of hazelnut kangaroo, the coffee of the day, so named because its delicate flavor yet intense aroma comes from hazelnuts being eaten by kangaroos but then vomited up, the short journey within the kangaroo providing an exquisite taste to the hazelnuts that when mixed with coffee pleases any cafe connoisseur.
As Jake waits for his coffee, planning on taking a seat as far away from Tom and Larry as possible, the old men actually call out to him.
"Excuse me, young man . . ." Tom says, scratching the hair coming out of his right ear.
"Uh, yes," Jake says, muscles tightening as he realizes this may be his worst Tom and Larry encounter yet.
"My friend and I . . ." Tom says, pointing across the table at Larry, who raises a coffee mug in greeting, ". . . are having an argument, and I was wondering if you could help us settle it. Would you mind joining us?"
Adam gives Jake his coffee, and Jake gives Adam his money. Adam rings up Jake's order at the cash register, and hands him his change, winking and whispering, "Good luck."
Jake says, "Thanks" and approaches Tom and Larry's table with all the enthusiasm of a death row prisoner going to his execution.
As Jake sits down, Tom says, "I'm Tom, and my friend here, Larry, says that there's been a centuries long conspiracy running the affairs of the world."
"Uh, hi, I'm Jake," Jake says, as they all shake hands.
"What we want to know is," Tom says, "If your dad was a member of a secret society and asked you to join, would you do so?"
"Uh, I don't know, I guess it depends on the secret society," Jake says, taking a sip of his coffee, which is bitter and pungent, yet somehow pleasing and reminiscent of being carried around safe and warm in the womb or a pouch.
However, even more bitter is the realization that Jake should really just have stayed home with the folks tonight because even they are less annoying than Tom and Larry.
Tom continues, "Well, say it was the Illuminati, or the Masons, or even the American Dental Association."
"The dentists group? That's not very secret is it?" Jake asks.
"Well, some of these groups are well-known, but their real influence in society is not," Tom says.
"But wouldn't I have to be a dentist to join the ADA?" Jake asks.
"What about the League of Women Voters, Tom? I've always been real suspicious of them," Larry says.
"Well, whatever group you want," Tom says, "But would you join if your Dad asked you to?"
"I don't know. My dad and I usually have different interests. He likes to watch golf on television, and I have no interest in that. In fact, I can't fathom how anyone could do that, but he'll sit there for hours watching men whack a little white ball with metal sticks, trying to get it into a little hole."
"Speaking of golf, did anybody see the Masters this weekend?" Larry says.
"Later, Larry. What Jake just said proved my point. That's why I can't always believe these conspiracies that go on for generations and generations across hundreds and thousands of years. Kids often rebel against their parents, so they aren't likely to carry on a conspiracy their parents started. I mean look at most rock bands. People can't even keep a band going for a few years before they start fighting among themselves and break up. How can a bunch of people keep a conspiracy going for centuries?"
"But what if the rock bands want you to think that's true so you don't believe in conspiracy theories? For example, maybe The Beatles only pretended to break up," Larry says.
"Oh, come on," Tom says, "Next you'll be telling me they keep the conspiracies going by only letting a few people see 'the big picture' and a lot of others only little pieces of it, so only a few people know how the entire puzzle fits together."
"Exactly, Tom," Larry says, "That's exactly how they do it. They even throw in a few false leads and red herrings to throw us investigators off the trail."
As Tom and Larry set to arguing some more, Jake quietly gets up and moves to another table. They don't notice, and carry on their argument, until Larry stands up and points at Tom, shouting, "My God, I just realized it. You're in on it! You're one of them!"
"Larry, you've had too much of this kangaroo coffee. You're all hopped up, and now you're jumping to conclusions," Tom says, as Larry leaves in a huff.
Jake thinks that if his father is in a secret society, then no one has bothered to tell his father that he's a member since all he does basically is sit around watching television. "Hmm . . . maybe Dad is a member of a secret society," Jake thinks, "How else to explain such puzzling behavior as watching golf tournaments on television?"
Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.
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