Blog Love Omega Glee: I'm Feeling Near Mint Today (23 March 2012)

Francine knocks on Donald's door. The Coyote answers.

"Hi Donald! How are you today?"

"I am near mint, thank you."

The Coyote always answers inquiries about his state of health and mind in comic book collecting grades. Mint indicates he's feeling perfectly well. Near mint suggests that he's feeling nearly perfect. Very fine means he's feeling well. Fine means he's doing all right. Very good indicates that he's doing all right but feeling a bit of wear and tear. Good means he's functional, but could be better. Fair means he has some problems but he's structurally intact. Poor means he's sick.

"How are you?" The Coyote asks.

"Um, today I'm . . . very fine, I guess," Francine says, "So, I was talking to Eve yesterday and she said there was a comic book series called The New Adventures Of George Orwell."

"Ah, yes. That's a good series. Orwell travels through time from the period right before he dies and ends up in New York City in 1984. He's completely appalled by yuppies and Ronald Reagan, but likes NYC pizza, copious amounts of espresso, and the rock opera Kilroy Was Here by Styx."

"That's it! Do you have it? I'd like to read it, and Eve didn't have any copies."

"Yes,"

"Oh, great! Thank you!"

"But . . ."

"But what?"

"You have to promise me to be very careful with the issues. Wash your hands and dry them before you take the comics out of the plastic. Hold the comics only by the edges, and try not to hold them very often. Try to lay them flat when you read them."

"Yes, I know you're very fussy about your comics. You take good care of them. I'll try to make sure they remain near mint."

"Actually, I think these are all very fine to good. But it is not just for me. You see, I have decided to sell off some of my comics, so I need them in the best condition possible in order to fetch the highest price possible."

"Donald! I thought you were trying to collect every comic ever made!"

"So did I, but they are always making more, and some of them are only published electronically now. It is nearly an impossible quest, an impossible dream. Besides, I could use the money."

"Are you all right?"

"Oh, yes. Now let us find those Orwell comics. They should be in box 101, but I might have them cross-filed with The New Adventures Of Henry Miller, which is by the same writer-artist team, but is basically pornography so it is in the adult comics box. Do you mind helping me move a few boxes?" The Coyote says, pointing at a literal wall of comic boxes lining the one side of his room.

"Oh, boy. Donald, someone could get a workout just by shuffling these boxes around. I'm surprised the floor hasn't collapsed from the weight yet."

The Coyote supplies a sheepish grin, and says, "Well . . . that is one of the reasons I need some money. But do not worry, I have put up some sawhorses and caution tape around that section in the basement so no one should get hurt before we get the support beams installed."

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.