Blog Love Omega Glee: Excuse Me, Could I Get A Refund? This Politician Is Defective (18 March 2012)

While Jake finishes washing the dishes, his parents are arguing over politics in the living room. The candidate they voted for in the Democratic primary, Senator Polipo of New York, just cast a vote in favor of bringing back the draft.

"Ach, if he wins the nomination now; I'm just going to vote for the Republican. Why vote for Fascism Lite, let's go all the way!" Jake's dad yells, firing off a Roman salute with his right arm.

"Oh, Fred, please, he just has to appear tough on national security. If he didn't vote for that, the Vice-President would hammer away at his patriotism. When he's elected, he's going to bring all the troops home; it's just politics," Jake's mom says, dismissing Dad's hysterics with a downward wave of both hands.

"Well, that's what he says. I'm going by what he does, and what he does is vote for idiotic legislation. I thought he was going to end the wars, not add more troops to die for some rich people's bullshit," Dad says, sitting down in his recliner, "You can bet that none of their kids will be getting drafted."

"Well, I don't know; he said the reason he voted to bring back the draft was to spread the sacrifice around society more so that everybody, whatever their family background, would have to fight in the wars. I think in addition to appearing tough on national security, he thinks it's actually a step against the war. It'll rile people up when they realize the wars won't just be something on tv that other people are dying for, but some nonsense they might die for," Mom says, sitting up in her recliner.

"Oh, you're just making excuses for him because he's Italian and you want an Italian president," Dad says, turning on the tv with the remote control, "You better be careful he's not another Mussolini."

"Oh, Fred, please," Mom says, getting up, "I'm going in the other room."

"I had just sent his campaign some money," Dad says, suddenly shutting off the tv, "I'm going to ask him for a refund for my campaign contribution."

"Oh, good grief, what do you think it's Mart Mart and you're just returning a pair of pants you bought that are the wrong size? You can't get your money back from a politician."

"Oh, yes I can! I'm going to get my money back by returning the politician because he's defective. I'm going to call up his campaign headquarters and say, 'Excuse me, I thought the candidate I donated money to was against the war and for civil liberties. Apparently I was deceived by your false advertising. I want my money back or I'll file a complaint with the Federal Election Commission!'"

"Oh, that's preposterous! Just don't give him any more money if you feel that way. What are you going to do? Even if he voted for the draft, he's still the best option out there."

"I might vote for a third party. The Greens, the Libertarians, maybe I'll send the money when I get it back to that guy who wants to impale everybody."

"Oh, you're out of your mind! It's hard enough to get a half-sensible Democrat elected in this country, much less one of those people."

"That's what they want us to think, so we keep voting for half-baked candidates!" Dad says, jumping up, "Where's the phone?"

"I'm going to go hide it," Mom says, running out of the room.

It's at this point that Jake escapes to Caffeine Eden for some peace, if not quiet.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.