Blog Love Omega Glee: When In Doubt, Leap! (29 February 2012)

It's Leap Day and Francine feels springy. At least until her mother calls.

"Happy Leap Day Mother!"

"It's Leap Day? What's that?"

"February 29th. You know, the date that gets added every four years so the calendar stays in sync with the natural order of things."

"Yes, it's a leap year. That's right. I forgot. I think February 29th comes around more often than you visit. When are you coming for a visit?"

"I'm busy, Mother."

"Busy doing what? You don't have a job."

"I have a job, Mother."

"Doing what? Your blog?"

"No. I work at a restaurant. The blog does bring in a little money, but not enough that I can call it a job. Maybe someday."

"You should go back to school Francine. You like to argue. You'd make a good lawyer."

"I'm quite happy, Mother."

"But you have to think of the future. You're a woman, and you're almost thirty. Your biological clock is winding down. When are you going to get married and make me some grandchildren?"

"Next Tuesday."

"What? You're getting married next Tuesday! I didn't even know that you had met someone. You never tell me anything."

"No, Mother, that was a joke. I'm not getting married next Tuesday."

"Francine, you know how much I want grandkids. Don't tease me."

"Why don't you go adopt some kids then? You can tell them their parents died, and you're their grandmother, and you'll be raising them."

"Francine!"

"OK, how about this, if I'm not married by next Leap Day, then just for you, I'll go to some bar on February 29th, get real drunk, get picked up by some anonymous stranger who I think has good genes, have sex, hopefully get knocked up, and you can have a grandkid?"

"Francine, honestly!"

"Is Father there?"

"Yes."

"What's he doing?"

"Watching television. Father, your daughter wants to talk to you!"

"Hello."

"Hello, Father."

"What are you doing?"

"According to Mother, nothing."

"Was she bothering you about grandchildren again? Mother, I told you not to pressure her!"

"It's all right."

"Well, you're an only child. You know, all those people she works with are always showing pictures of their grandkids, so she's feeling left out, and you're her only hope."

"We can probably find some pictures of random kids on the Internet, download them to a digital picture frame, and she can say they're her grandchildren. Or if you want to be old-fashioned, you know those pictures that always come in regular picture frames when you buy them new? Just buy one with some kids on it and she can just keep those pictures in the frame. Just tell her to bluff them. They won't know the difference. Or maybe just get a cat that's pregnant and the kittens might satisfy her. She can have grandkitties instead."

"Maybe. Everything all right there?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's Leap Day. Last time this rolled around I was miserable with my job in the bowels of corporate America and my cheating fiance was probably fucking my best friend in my bed while I was at work. This time around I'm jumping for joy in comparison. At least that horrible stuff is out of my life."

"Well, that's good. Here, I'll pass you back to your mother. I love you. Bye now."

"Bye, Father, I love you."

"OK, I'm back."

"Hello, Mother."

"So I was thinking about what you said."

"What did I say, Mother?"

"That thing about next Leap Day you go to some bar and get pregnant. That's not such a bad idea. It might be the only way I ever get a grandchild. Just be careful. You don't want to catch any diseases. Make sure he's tall too."

"I've got to go, Mother. Next time we talk, can we not talk about my uterus?"

"Francine! Why do you always have to be so difficult?"

"I love you, Mother."

"I love you, Dear. I have a couple of nice young men I'd like you to meet next time you come home. When are you coming home for a visit?"

"April 31st. Bye, Mother."

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.