Blog Love Omega Glee: A License To Fuck (13 February 2012)

Across the street, a young mother screams at her three children to get into the car. Two of the children throw snowballs at one another while the third, the smallest, climbs into the car. Masani stops and watches from the house as she lowers the blinds on the windows for the night. She says, "Francine? You need a license to drive, right?"

Francine, putting a Microdisney album on the stereo, says, "Last time I checked the state wanted some money that way, yes."

Masani, watching the woman smack one of her children in the head, says, "And you need a license to fish too, right?"

"Yes, I think so. You need licenses for all sorts of things. The state always wants its cut," Francine says, approaching the living room, where Masani is.

Masani points to the woman throwing the remaining child in the back seat. Both parent and child are screaming. "Then how come society doesn't require a license to be a parent?" Masani says.

"What? Like a license to fuck?"

"No, just to be a parent. I know our neighbor is probably doing the best she can, but her best really isn't very good. So those kids are going to come out fucked up, and they're going to be society's problem some day when they become criminals or just bigger pains in the asses than they already are now. Why don't people think before they have kids?"

"Probably because they aren't thinking about the kids when they're taking that first step towards having them. They're thinking about feeling good."

"So the rest of us have to feel bad for the next eighteen years plus having to put up with the consequences? I think you shouldn't be able to have a kid until you're 29. By then, people might be ready to raise a child."

"But who's going to tell someone they can't have a child? The government tries to control us enough already."

"Well, Honey, somebody needs to do something because there are too many bad parents out there churning out bad kids, who quickly become bad parents themselves churning out more bad kids. That's why this town is screwed up"

"Literally. But I don't know what can be done. Maybe they should charge them to attend school, or take away the dependent exemption and child credits on the income tax forms. I didn't ask that woman to have three kids. Why should I have to pay for them through my taxes? If somebody wants a child, then they should pay for the kid all themselves."

"Hmm . . . maybe they should just put a tax on sex," Masani says, as the woman peels out in the snow, driving away, "And if you already have a kid, then you pay double. And, if you have two kids, then you pay triple, and so on."

"Social engineering through the tax code, eh?

"Well, Sugar, if I was getting laid, then I certainly wouldn't mind paying my taxes."

"Fucking the deficit away, eh?"

"And if we put a tax on masturbating as well, that national debt is toast."

"Well, it certainly gives a new meaning to Gross National Product," Francine says, lowering the last blind.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.