Being an all night disc jockey has turned Jake into a creature of the night. As a result, he has no problem with drinking coffee late in the afternoon or at night. He wakes up about four p.m., gets ready quickly, shovels down some breakfast, and heads out to do some errands before five o'clock rolls around and offices close. After his errands, he stops by Caffeine Eden for his morning, er, afternoon, er, evening cup of coffee. He looks for a seat, but the cafe is crowded, and only one table is empty: The table near Larry and Tom. Jake thinks about getting his coffee to go instead, but the cute barista who just handed him his coffee would think he was weird if he did because she just handed his coffee to him in his "for here" mug. Hmm . . . what to do? . . . Jake decides that if he has to sit near Larry and Tom, then at least he could sneak glances at the cute barista as she works the counter. Plus they're old men. How late will they stay out anyway? Jake sits down, and even though he makes sure to face away from them, he still instantly has to listen to them jabber on about whatever they're jabbering on about today.
Tom says, "So do you think Dick will cancel the election again?"
Larry says, "No way! People would raise hell. They'd march down to Washington D.C. and unplug his vending machine body."
"I think he runs on batteries like a golf cart."
"Eh, whatever! We beat Nazi Germany. We beat Soviet Russia. We won't stand for that communist fascist totalitarian crap here at home."
"I wouldn't be too sure Larry. I think it's here already. It's just evolved. It's like fascism light, like friendly fascism. We don't even know it's here. They let us do whatever we want provided we don't interfere with their plans. It's like bread and circuses in the Roman days. They keep us stuffed with fast food and obsessed with entertainment and sports so we have no idea that we actually live in a fascist state, where a small number of business and government leaders collude to run things for their benefit."
"Well, canceling the presidential election was a clue."
"Yeah, but I don't count that. That was due to Iranian terrorists. He had to do that."
"Ah, there were no terrorists. Dick did it himself so he could stay president."
"Well, whatever happened, it won't work again. But I think it goes beyond Dick though. He's like a figurehead."
"Literally."
"Yeah, so but I think this oligarchy or whoever's in charge wouldn't let a truly radical or even truthful book about how the world works even be published. I think all those conspiracy books and stuff on the Web we've been reading are just made-up nonsense. They'd never let the truth out."
"No, they're real Tom. It's impossible to suppress an idea or the truth. They can't stop the truth from getting out. I bet they learned that long ago. What they do now is try to drown it in a flood of misinformation. They put out a bunch of nonsense books and websites to make it harder to find the real stuff."
"So how do we know the good stuff from the nonsense?"
"The nonsense never mentions the aliens who want to harvest humans for food. They're usually behind public health initiatives and curing diseases because they want healthy livestock. I think my doctor's one. He keeps telling me to exercise. Also, he looks sort of reptilian, but my wife says that's just because he's from another country."
"Wait? Aliens are eating people?"
"It's true, entire cities have disappeared. For instance, do you remember East Rockport, Ohio?"
"Well, the name's kind of familiar, but I don't know where it is."
"It's not on a map anymore because the aliens wiped it off the face of the Earth. And the maps. It used to be just east of Lackwood though."
"Wait! How come nobody remembers it?"
"The aliens play around with the timestream, and make it like it never existed. Didn't you ever wake up in the morning and feel like something wasn't right, but you couldn't tell what it was?"
"Yeah, but I usually figure I just drank too much scotch the night before."
"That's exactly what the aliens want you to think! Meanwhile they've been gorging on American citizens. We could be next Tom!"
"So how do we stop them?"
"Well, I think the first step is to let others know, which is why I wrote a letter to the editor the other day. The newspaper didn't publish it of course because the oligarchy or aliens put the kibosh on letting the truth out, but still I tried."
"So how do the aliens eat us? Do they serve us on sandwiches? Would you like fries with your friendly fascism?"
"I don't know Tom, but I've been eating a lot of garlic lately so I smell and they won't want to eat me."
"Is that what that is? I've just been making sure to sit upwind from you and trying not to say anything. But isn't it vampires, and not aliens, that don't like garlic?"
"That's it Tom! They're alien vampire fascists come to drain us dry! Come on, let's go write a letter to our state representative. Maybe they didn't get to her yet."
Jake hears some shuffling and when he turns around he sees Larry and Tom leaving the cafe. "Those old men are nuts," he thinks, "An alien vampire fascist? Hmm . . . that'd be a good gimmick for a wrestler actually . . ."
Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.
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