Blog Love Omega Glee: I Breathe, Therefore I Blog (2 January 2012)

A lovely splash of blue rotating in the cool blackness of space, Earth has about seven billion human beings gabbling, jabbering, and yammering away at one another in various languages. It's amazing that this racket doesn't reach across the cosmos, but each individual conversation usually only travels a few feet. A quieter form of yakking though reaches further. One may only hear the clacking and clicking of fingers tapping on a keyboard, but the blogger through the computer and Internet can potentially reach everybody else with a computer on the Internet all the way around the blue of Earth. Of course, though there's millions and maybe billions of blogs, there's probably only a couple of readers each for most of them: the writer and her or his mother. Today, though, Jake hopes that his mother isn't reading because what he's writing about would upset her.

Yes, yes, we both know that he should be spending his time looking for a job, but it's Monday, and New Year's Day is being observed so everything's closed, so we'll let him slack off. Besides, he doesn't really have anything better to do, and the blog keeps him off park benches and away from lake gulls anyway.

Jake's blog, Two Out Of Three Falls, gives him a voice in the mediasphere, and what does he use his freedom of speech for? No, not to ponder on the meaning of life. No, not to weigh in on political decisions. Yes, he voices his opinions on the state of professional wrestling!

Today, he declares his love for The Cannibals, a heel tag team, who during their matches attempt to gnaw on their opponents, and before and after their matches scan the audience for whom they'd like to eat ("That one there! He's got a lot of meat on him!"). Jake would buy their t-shirt ("Bring Your Pet! We Want An Appetizer!") but he's trying to save what remaining money he has.

Tonight The Cannibals wrestle for the tag team championship. Jake writes, "This should be a great match! I like the man munchers' chances to take the belts! They just have to control their appetites, and not attempt to eat their opponents before they pin them for the 1-2-3! In the past, they've been undone by hunger, like the time The Sideshow Slammers had one of their friends come to ringside. Their friend, who specialized in being a human pincushion, stuck a skewer through his cheeks. At the sight of this human shish kebab, The Cannibals became entranced and as a result both of them got easily rolled up for a loss."

At a loss for any remaining words, Jake chews on his fingernails. His mother would say that cannibalism isn't funny, but then she's never seen The Cannibals wrestle in a "Losers Are Lunch" match.

Blog Love Omega Glee is a novel by Wred Fright about two bloggers who fall in love while the world falls apart, which is being serialized on his blog. To start reading from the beginning or read another installment, please visit Blog Love Omega Glee Central on WredFright.Com. If you like what you've read, or you've read all of Blog Love Omega Glee and want more Fright, then please read his first novel, which is available in print and as an ebook.